- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
At our (Catholic) church it is common to refer to babies conceived before wedlock but born after marriage as “premature.” It’s a little joke to ease any tension when someone talks about situations like that. But it was just a tongue in cheek reference to the bride, gathering that this is “thrown together” and kind of last-minutey. Almost like they are rushing to get married. 🙂 Not gonna lie, that kind of thing at my church sends the rumors flying! But hey, maybe your friend just figures it will be a good time because family is in town for the holidays anyway, and maybe everything was done hastily and the guest list wasn’t checked for SOs, and the invitations mistakenly left off the +1s. That’s a lot of ifs, but it is possible.
Sorry if anyone didn’t get my joke, just trying to keep it light. :-)~
I think you got some great advice to see if this was just a mistake or a political/personal statement about your relationship. I really hope she just forgot to add your Fiance because someone was pressuring her for a guest list and she didn’t get to check it.
@Sapphire: Just read your comment. Makes sense in context now.
Sheesh, nobody was bashing Catholics. I think the OP was just trying to illustrate that the bride doesn’t approve of her relationship because of religious reasons. The fact that she’s Catholic has no bearing on anything, really. And Sapphire was just making a joke.
I disagree that OP should assume this was an accident and try to “call her out on it.” It sounds like the bride knew damn well what she was doing. It sounds pretty clear, to me anyway, that the reason the fiancee wasn’t invited was that the bride doesn’t approve of the relationship (due to religious reasons). If she’s too homophobic to allow a good friend to bring her fiancee to the wedding, I doubt she’d be comfortable enough to attend a gay wedding herself. It’s sad, but it may be time to rethink the “friendship” with this person. A real friend accepts who you are, even if it’s not what they’d choose for themself.
@jacinda10: Just give her a card. I wouldn’t send a gift.
And I hope her Catholicism has nothing to do with her ill-ettiquete behavior since I’m Catholic and my Maid/Matron of Honor is a lesbian and is welcome to bring a girlfriend if she wants!
ETA: The date she picked may very well be a day that has personal meaning to her (feast day of some kind). But yeah, it’s pretty crappy that she wouldn’t invite your Fiancee.
UPDATE: Talked to her.
I just sent her a message saying I got the invitation and that I liked the border punch they used, and then she replied saying that she totally forgot to give EVERYONE a “guest”, so if I wanted to bring my fiancee along, then I’m more than welcome to.
Problem solved, although I am still like 95% sure we can’t go.
Sounds like you may still (at some point) need to have a sit down with her in you want to continue to build the friendship… JMHO… her ‘general’ response would have been a satisfactory explanation for me personally.
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