(Closed) My (gay) fiancee wasn’t invited and they included registry info. Rant.

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 33
Member
5517 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

View original reply
@jacinda10: no sex at all? OMG in that case.. forgive her little blunder lol.. she has had a really hard (no pun intended) life thus far. Btw, the registry card thing might be regional.. I know that all of the invitations I have ever gotten have included a registry card

Post # 35
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mightysapphire haha

Post # 36
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

At our (Catholic) church it is common to refer to babies conceived before wedlock but born after marriage as “premature.”  It’s a little joke to ease any tension when someone talks about situations like that.  But it was just a tongue in cheek reference to the bride, gathering that this is “thrown together” and kind of last-minutey.  Almost like they are rushing to get married.  🙂  Not gonna lie, that kind of thing at my church sends the rumors flying!  But hey, maybe your friend just figures it will be a good time because family is in town for the holidays anyway, and maybe everything was done hastily and the guest list wasn’t checked for SOs, and the invitations mistakenly left off the +1s.  That’s a lot of ifs, but it is possible.

Sorry if anyone didn’t get my joke, just trying to keep it light.  :-)~

I think you got some great advice to see if this was just a mistake or a political/personal statement about your relationship.  I really hope she just forgot to add your Fiance because someone was pressuring her for a guest list and she didn’t get to check it.

Post # 37
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@kay01: That was the comment to which I was referring.  I didn’t want to call people out.  I’m not catholic but people have been particularly sensitive on the boards/flagging a lot/getting upset/a bunch of other things these days and I wanted to remind people to keep it coolish.

 

@Sapphire: Just read your comment.  Makes sense in context now.

Post # 38
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sheesh, nobody was bashing Catholics.  I think the OP was just trying to illustrate that the bride doesn’t approve of her relationship because of religious reasons.  The fact that she’s Catholic has no bearing on anything, really.  And Sapphire was just making a joke.

I disagree that OP should assume this was an accident and try to “call her out on it.”  It sounds like the bride knew damn well what she was doing.  It sounds pretty clear, to me anyway, that the reason the fiancee wasn’t invited was that the bride doesn’t approve of the relationship (due to religious reasons).  If she’s too homophobic to allow a good friend to bring her fiancee to the wedding, I doubt she’d be comfortable enough to attend a gay wedding herself.  It’s sad, but it may be time to rethink the “friendship” with this person. A real friend accepts who you are, even if it’s not what they’d choose for themself.

Post # 39
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@seven12: If you read my comment, I think you would see that that has been resolved.

Post # 40
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@jacinda10:  Just give her a card.  I wouldn’t send a gift.

And I hope her Catholicism has nothing to do with her ill-ettiquete behavior since I’m Catholic and my Maid/Matron of Honor is a lesbian and is welcome to bring a girlfriend if she wants!

ETA: The date she picked may very well be a day that has personal meaning to her (feast day of some kind).  But yeah, it’s pretty crappy that she wouldn’t invite your Fiancee.

Post # 41
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@heather25: I did read it, and I was just reiterating that there was no bashing, and therefore no reason to police the thread.  Everything is under control, chill. 😉

Post # 42
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@seven12: I have no idea to what you are referring.  I stated the same exact thing in my post and was in no way “policing the thread”

Post # 44
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@jacinda10: That’s awesome although shady that you got a “guest”.  I am sure if you made out her invite it would be to Mr. Named Guest and Ms. Shady Friend, not rando guest.

Post # 46
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sounds like you may still (at some point) need to have a sit down with her in you want to continue to build the friendship…  JMHO… her ‘general’ response would have been a satisfactory explanation for me personally. 

The topic ‘My (gay) fiancee wasn’t invited and they included registry info. Rant.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors