(Closed) My girlfriend hates the ring I want to give her

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 61
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

btob17 :  I’m American and I wear just a plain band. Yet I still think OP is in the wrong. 

OP, your Girlfriend seems far from entitled and seems to very much appreciate the sentiment of your grandmothers ring which is why she offered to wear it on the wedding day. Kudos to her. You are being unreasonable and IF you did actually whine to your parents about this who now in turn think your Girlfriend is materialistic, shame on you. She deserves a ring that she feels comfortable and happy wearing. I’m sure you explained to your parents that “money is not an issue”

Also, I LOVE PPs suggestion that perhaps you should wear the ring yourself if you have such a strong connection to it.

Post # 62
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper

daisydee :  

 She should feel lucky enough that you’re even giving her a ring at all. 

Such BS!  The mentality that a woman should be grateful that a man, any man, would propose is so ridiculous!

I, personally, wouldn’t feel lucky at all that the man I loved dismissed my feelings, insisted he knew my tastes better than I did, made me feel like shit for expressing my preferences and then ran to his parents in such a way that they now consider me to be a gold digger. 

Imagine if Kate said NO to the engagement ring that Prince William gave her that used to be Lady Diana’s. I’m sure it would cause an outrage and all the ladies would say that she’s nuts for rejecting Lady Di’s ring. 

You can bet Kate was involved in that decision, along with the Queen and a team of advisors. Don’t be so naive. 

Post # 63
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You sound greeeeat.

Post # 64
Member
8061 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m really failing to see how wanting a simpler ring that costs $1,000 makes her “in it for the money”. People with money would not consider that very much money…. it sounds more like you want her to wear a big blingy ring so people think YOU have money even though you didn’t have to pay for it. 

Post # 65
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper

weeebeee :  Just have to ask–which do you think is easier or more important–finding a woman who loves you and wants to spend the rest of her life with you? Or finding a woman who loves your grandmother’s ring and wants to wear it? You seem to be placing greater importance on the latter when you should be celebrating the former. 

Post # 66
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

op…  Remember…  A gift is only a gift if the person receiving the gift truly wants it.

My mother used to get me clothing for Christmas when I was a teen.  She put all this thought into it.  I was many time horrified and her clothing choices.  And I would go into my room and hide the garments and tell her I lost them if she inquired.

I know traditionally men surprise the woman with the ring.  Thats how it is in movies.  And the woman always loves the ring.  But, this is not real life.  Realistically the woman is wearing the ring every day.  And if the woman does not like the ring it is kind of pointless.

Being worried your girlfriend is in it just for the money is taking it a little to far.

Post # 67
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Imagine if Kate said NO to the engagement ring that Prince William gave her that used to be Lady Diana’s. I’m sure it would cause an outrage and all the ladies would say that she’s nuts for rejecting Lady Di’s ring.”

Call me crazy but this: 

Is a lot more attractive than what the OP is describing. If someone offered most people Kate Middletons ring, they would take it. It’s a much more popular design than a marquise cluster in yellow gold. I’m just saying…

Post # 68
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

weeebeee :  Sounds familiar, she posted here – I think! And if it is her, it IS ugly. Sorry…. She had a lot of support that it was not too pretty. Usually the girls here get upset that someone doesn’t like their ring, but not in this case.

Post # 69
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2016

 

weeebeee :  

Dude, im going to be straight with you… if the lady said she wants her own ring then you need to listen to her. It sounds like you’re trying to bully her into accepting a ring she doesn’t want with emotional blackmail. You said money isn’t an issue, yet you seem very upset about the thought of spending any on her, even going so far as to imply she’s a gold-digger when really you just come across as tight-fisted.

 

Don’t be the guy who has T-Rex arms and deep pockets, thats not a good quality for any guy to have.

 

She seems pretty reasonable, even willing to compromise by wearing the ring on the day, but you’re not budging. 

@Daisydee wow, you’re classy, aren’t you? 

Post # 70
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well damn, I must just be in it for the money because I turned down my mom’s offer to give me my great-grandmothers ring to use as an engagement ring…because, it wasn’t my style. 

I love the idea of an heirloom ring, BUT it is a ring she’ll wear everyday (presumably) for the rest of her life.  Do you really want her to put it on everyday thinking, “I really wish I could have something much simpler, more suited to my taste.”? 

Also, the fact that your parents are already throwing this negativity out about her being a gold digger is a red flag to me.  $1000 ring= gold digger? Are you kidding me right now? Are you going to run to them to talk bad about her with every little issue your relationship has? 

Post # 71
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

mrweddingwasp :  t-Rex arms and deep pockets. I’m totally stealing that😈

Post # 73
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee

I have to say I agree with the general consensus of: You’re being a cheap jerk and a poor boyfriend.

If you really though this girl was a gold-digger, you wouldn’t be marrying her, you’re just trying to be manipulate her into doing what you want. If I were her and you were making me feel like crap for not wanting your grandmother’s unattractive, yet sentimental ring and knew you had gone to your parents and called me a gold digger… I wouldn’t marry you. In fact, I’d probably reconsider the whole relationship, since you’ve shown your true colors and they are not pretty.

She can do better.

Post # 74
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

OP, it seems like you made this post hoping we’d all agree with you and tell you how awful your Girlfriend is not to agree to wear your grandma’s ring. I am surprised (when one of the bees posts about not liking her ring she’s accused of being ungrateful) but happy that the majority of the responses told you to get over yourself! You canNOT force her to like, love, or wear that ring. If I were her your response would definitely make me reconsider a marriage with you. You seem really immature.

Post # 75
Member
3060 posts
Sugar bee

btob17 :  I’m not American.  If you believe American women are too demanding in this context, you really have a very limited worldview. If anything, I am constantly surprised at how frugal and practical most of the American women on this site are. 

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