- 4 years ago
I need some advice, I have been dating this lady for the last two years and we have had a fantastic relationship, she has been my best friend, my confidant and she pretty much had all the qualities for my dream woman. I have loved this girl in truth and I have tried to be the best man I could be. Here is some context. I am a father to 2 kids with 2 different women, yes I was wild when I was young and I made some mistakes but I am great father to my kids and I love them so very much, I have a great relationship with my kids and we get along so well. My kids live with their mothers and I have to make trips to go see them regularly, one stays with her mom in Europe and the other with the mom in Canada. I and my little boy’s mother in Europe have not always gotten along so well, she feels betrayed that I didn’t marry her even though she has moved on and she is engaged to be married to another man. She still carries alot of anger towards me but does appreciate the fact that I am a responsible father to my son. On another note, my kids mother in Canada is great with me, we didn’t work out because we were just different people, we didn’t have similar likes and so many other issues but we have had a great relationship for the sakes of my son. My baby mother in Canada is an orphan who lost both of her parents from an accident when she was very young and so when she met my mom, she got along so well with her. She looks up to my mom as her own mother and they get along so well. My mom even travels to Canada not only to visit her grandson but to support her when she needs support. Me and her( the mother to my child in Canada) are not involved in any way and she respects it.
Back to my current girlfriend( ex for that matter), she also has a baby by another man , the baby is lovely little gal and I love her so much. Her baby daddy wants nothing to do with the child and so I have naturally felt that I would take on this responsibility as her father too and I have loved it all the way. Me and my girlfriend(ex) have gotten along so well and we have shared many things, I have met her family , she met mine and everyone is fond of her, they all love her.
In the past 2 months, we have had a somewhat strained relationship because she is concerned that me and my baby mother in Canada get along so well and that my baby mother has a great relationship with my mom and that concerns her very much. She thinks I may still love her and that she will be competing with another woman. She has been telling that she is sad and that she is unhappy about it. I tried to explain to her the reason why I am close to my baby mother in Canada and not so close to the one in Europe and she doesn’t seem to understand.
About a week ago, she asked me to drive to her house so that we could have dinner and she told me she was breaking up with me. It caught me by surprise because I was planning to engage her next month and I have been saving some money, she is 37 and she has been asking me when and if I was interested in getting married and settling down from our first date and this has been something that was a main topic for the entire time we were together and I was telling her that I was looking to get some money so that I could make my engagment to her memorable, I was shocked that she wanted to break up because she has always told me , she is growing older and she wants to have more babies before she is 40. I loved her and I was ready to start a family with her, I am 34 years old and I was attracted to this gal because she is one of a kind. I wanted to marry her, I have been faithful to her, I have been loyal and it kills me that she would wait to the point when I am ready to ask her for marriage then she breaks up claiming that she is not secure because the mother of my son is close to my family.
I am completely devastated, I have lost 10 pounds in the past week and I can’t believe I have lost the best woman that ever happened to me. I don’t know what I can do, she seems completely done with me and yet a month ago she was completely in love with me that we even purchased a house together( we don’t stay together so we rented it out) so that we could move in whenever we got married. I understand a woman can feel insecure about another woman but I have tried my best to explain to her, I even talked to my baby mama that she claims I love and my baby mama offered to call and assure her that she is not interested in me and that she is really just cool with me and my mom but my girlfriend( ex) aint interested in even talking to her , or me. She says she is done and I am completely confused ( ofcourse hurt and betrayed) that someone at her age( I am not saying she is so old) would decide to walk away from a man she has confessed to love for the past 2 years, we have shared our lives together and she won’t even give me a chance to redeem myself. I don’t even know if she ever really loved me and why she waited a month for me to propose to her to call this off( by the way I had told her I would propose in march of this year).
I am completely confused, I am hurt, I feel betrayed and I think she has given me no chance to prove to her that my baby mama is not and will never be my woman again and that she is only woman I love and no one else. She is a successful lady and I don’t know if pride is playing a role here but I am also successful in my own right too and I would normally feel proud because she is older than me but I am humbled and hurting that she would chose to give me no chance at all.