(Closed) My girlfriend wants to be engaged, I don't know if I am ready

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

JL4SM:  +1 If you don’t know after 3 years of loving together, she’s not the one for you.

Post # 47
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

Do you want to be with her for the rest of your life? tell her this..

do you have a plan of where you want to be in the next 3-4yrs? discuss this with her…

Compromise.. i waited for 5yrs for the engagement that would last 3.6yrs and agreed that when we are married we would try straight away for children because we dont want to be to old..

Post # 48
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 what alpinebride:  said.  Completely agree.  Either move forward or stop stringing her along.

Post # 49
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

The ball is in your court… If you don’t wish to get married, she has every right to leave, just as you have every right to leave if you are not ready. Four years is a long time. It sounds like you are either not ready or she is simply not the one, or both.

I always hear men say that when they wish to get married that the woman “changed” them and their minds in some way. Most men doubt that they will get married even if they would like to one day. Usually, they go through with it, happily so, because they found a woman that is so special and important to them, that they change their minds. They envision a future with her, and it is exactly what they want. 

In my opinion, your age is not relevant. Some men feel the “change” at 21, some at 40. It seems to depend on the woman more than the timing. Her age IS relevant, because she wants to start having children soon. If you are still unsure in the near future, it is best to walk away. Let her be free to meet someone who can meet her needs, and for you to find the right woman. Good luck to you both!

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