Post # 1
We can’t, and won’t be, changing the date of the party. I just feel so conflicted – I’m sad she died but it wasn’t unexpected, and it’s one of those things where it was her time. It just totally sucks because I want to be able to be with my family and go through proper mourning, but I’ve been looking forward to this party for months and want to have a good time. The plan is to attend the funeral in the afternoon and then have my party, but it just feels totally fucked up. I guess I’m not really looking for advice or anything, I’m just feeling weird and needed to get my thoughts out there.
Post # 3
Maybe you could make sure you have a drink in your grandma’s honor…and keep her in your thoughts that evening. Make it sort of a private party in her honor (like in your mind).
Unless…well, will your family think you unfeeling if you still go to the party? Or would your grandmother have wanted you to go?
I’m sorry about your grandma. =(
Post # 4
@peachacid: Thanks. That’s actually a good idea, and no my family won’t think my unfeeling, and my grandma would have wanted me to go, she and my grandpa were quite the partiers in their day. I like the idea of having a drink for her, she drank manhattans, I’ll try to stomach one 🙂 Thank you for the thought.
Post # 5
@furnituregirl: I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother! I hope I can bring you a little comfort, because believe it or not I just went through nearly the exact same situation last weekend. My Uncle passed away July 29, though his death was very unexpected. His funeral ended up being scheduled on the same day as my wedding shower. Unfortunately, they were almost at the same time in different states (Virginia and Connecticut). I agonized over the decision of what to do, and I fully planned to cancel the shower to go to the funeral. You know what changed my mind? My grandmother, my uncle’s wife, and the rest of my family all told me they would be sad if I canceled the shower. No one coming to my shower knew my uncle so no one had to decide which to go to, and my family hated the idea of me canceling a happy occasion for such a sad one. I’m sure your family will understand as mine did. Life doesn’t have to stop when death happens. You can still go to your grandmother’s funeral, and I’m sure she would want you to enjoy your party that you’ve been looking forward to for so long later that night. I ended up traveling to my relatives’ home immediately after the shower and was still able to spend time with family for a few days, and they all wanted to know how the shower went and were happy that it still happened.
Sorry, that was a bit long, but I truly feel for you and know what a tough decision it is to make. I shed many tears over it, but now that it’s all over I feel happy with my decision. My uncle loved a good party and I know he wouldn’t have wanted me to cancel it 🙂
Post # 6
Hi, so sorry to hear you lost your Grandmother, I lost my Pap (Grandfather) a few weeks ago, and his funeral was on my birthday last week, it was a tough day, but I knew that he would want me to carry on and still celebrate as best I could.
I understand how weird it feels, I was literally getting Happy Birthdays from people at his Grave side and it felt utterly bizarre, but I looked at it like I got to spend at least part of my day with him, I raised a drink to him, and my famiy and friends were great and really helped me.
Hope all goes well on the day
Post # 7
I’m sorry for your loss. If there is one thing I have learned from working with older people, it is that they are the first to state that life goes on.
Your Grandma would not likely want you cancelling, postponing or rescheduling your bachelorette.
Go out with your firnds, have a great time and raise a glass in toast to her!
Post # 8
So sorry about your Grandma.
You should definitely have a round of manhattans in her honor to start the night!
Post # 9
Sorry about your grandma. Honestly I would think about changing the party, just because I imagine your emotions are raw and if there drinks invovle I can see it being a tough time. You should have a fun bachlorette when you are feeling good about it, wiithout having to go through these bad/sad emotions I’m sure you are having. It’s so draining after a funeral, so it would be hard to get in the mood to party. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Post # 10
Yeah, I would postpone the bachelorette party… it wouldn’t do anyone any good going after a funeral.
Post # 11
You should postpone the party. You will always wish you had done it on a different day.
Post # 12
My grandpa died on the day of my graduation so I know exactly how you feel. I still had fun because I know he would have wanted me too. Also, I was able to say goodbye and I mourned him while he was dying and weeks after. It actually felt good to have some fun that night. It was a good pick-me-up. Definately have a drink in her honor and try to have a fun time!
Post # 13
i have gone to the funerals of 3 grandparents and my father. in all instances, the funeral itself was not the worst part. the few days before the funeral were by far worse…. sitting around, having nothing to do… just thinking. it gives you time to grieve, but also too much time to think. for me, i have never cried at a funeral because i feel awkward around so many people. instead, it’s just another thing to do that day.
for these reasons, i think you should not change the plans of your party. if you think that you will be emotional that day, them perhaps you should start it later or move it to another day… but i know that i would be fine later on that day. not to sound uncaring, but the funeral itself has never affected me much, and i’d probably rather be distracted later on in the evening.
sorry for your loss. <3
Post # 14
My grandmother’s funeral was at 10am the morning after my wedding, sooooo awkward!
My suggestion is to just own it and be excited. She would have wanted you to be!