Post # 1
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
UGH I’m just feeling really mad and sad and frustrated right now. My grandma gave me her 50th anniversary ring about 5 years ago. It’s yellow gold, with 5 small diamonds. It’s very special and sentimental to me.
My grandma just died at the beginning of april. She had given away her more valuable things while she was alive. She has 4 daughters (my aunts and mom), and some of them can be catty.
Anyway, I just got a text from my cousin (also moh in my wedding this oct) saying, ‘hey, i think it would be a really nice gesture if you gave grandma’s ring back to the aunts, because daughters trump granddaughters for stuff like that, so they can each take one of the diamonds out and put it in their ring or something’
WHOA. What? She gave that to me. I don’t care about the value, only the sentimental value to me. I don’t think my grandma would have wanted them taking it apart. I donno, I’m just confused and hurt.
I know my cousin’s heart is in the right place, but I’m kind of hurt about it. She said that they would probably want me to do that, but they are too passive aggressive to ask. Each of the aunts will be getting a fair chunk of money/inheritance from her estate, so they are not being money grabby here. I don’t know what I’m asking, I’m just feeling like I was punched in the stomach at the moment.
Post # 2
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
amandajane4949: Honestly if your grandma wanted your aunts to have that ring, she would have given it to one of them. I think you should keep it as our grandmother intended you to have it.
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
Her hearts in the right place??? Siuvss like her heart froze over. No way I’d give it back. She GAVE it to YOU. I’m sure thetea other jewlery they can use.
Post # 4
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
amandajane4949: Tell her no. Your grandma gave it for YOU to have. If she wanted them to have it, she would have left it in the will for them to have.
Post # 5
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
Ummm, your grandmother personally gave you the ring. It does not belong to your aunts, it belongs to you. Your cousin was very wrong to even suggest this.
ETA: Your nosy bitch cousin shouldn’t be sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. That ring wasn’t willed to your aunts so she has no right to say anything to you about it as it is none of her business.
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This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by kmark2688.
Post # 6
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
amandajane4949: Definitely not!!! Your grandmother gave that ring to you for a reason and the best way to remember her and show respect is to honour her wishes! If she had wanted her jewellery disassembled, she would have said as much in her will or while she was alive.
I’m sure your cousin means well or is maybe just reacting to a comment her mother or another aunt has made to her, but I’d just ignore it. And if she or anyone else brings it up again, just say that the ring is special to you, too, and since grandma explicitly gave it to you while she was alive, you’ll be keeping it. There’s lots of other momentos to go around.
Post # 7
Member
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
amandajane4949: “daughters trump granddaughters” — I’d remind her that people who received a gift while the giver was alive trump vultures circling the deceased.
Post # 8
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
I would tell them to kiss your ass.
Post # 9
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
Grandma gave that ring to YOU and not one of her daughters because she wanted YOU to have it. Giving it back would be going against her wishes.
Post # 10
Member
11585 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
amandajane4949: what? No way are you going to dishonor your grandmother’s wishes by not keeping this special gift. Tell your cousin you’re shocked at the idea.
Post # 11
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
Um No! It was a gift from your grandmother to you. Tell the cousin to f-off! She’s just jealous!
Post # 12
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
I voted no because your grandma wanted you to have it.
If she would have your aunts to have it she wouldn’t have given it to you. I think it’s not fair of your cousin to ask you giving it back.
Post # 13
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
You guys don’t understant how much better I feel (why am I bawling??) after your comments. Seriously, thank you. SO.MUCH.
Post # 14
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
amandajane4949: Your grandmother gave the ring to you because she wanted YOU to have it. I’m sure she gave her daughters other important items, and like you said, added them into her will. I would tell your cousin just what you said, how you know her comment probably came from a good place, but that you were extremely hurt by it. And that the sentimental value of the ring, especially since your grandmother specifically gifted it to you, is why you are going to be keeping it.
Post # 15
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
amandajane4949: Your Grandma GAVE it to you while she was still alive…5 YEARS AGO. And a cousin thinks you should give it to her daughters. No. Please do not even think you should.
If she had wanted the 5 diamonds to go to her 5 daughters she would have put that in her will and NOT given the ring to you. It is yours…from your grandma…no one else has a right to it.
My Grandma had a ring made a few years ago purposefully to be taken apart for her grandaughters. There are 4 of us and the ring has 4 bigger diamonds of equal size and either 16 or 20 small diamonds to be split between the four of us (divisable by 4 purposefully). The difference in my Grandma’s ring and your Grandma’s ring is that my Grandma is not giving it to any one person. She will wear it until she passes and in her will it states that it is to be taken apart and the diamonds divided between us.
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