(Closed) My grandma is not doing well :-(

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry.  Do you think there is any way that you can go out there and visit her so you don’t regret not being with her later?

Post # 4
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m so sorry. 🙁 I thought if you had a passport, you could just drive in? I drove from the US to Canada about five years ago, but maybe laws and regulations have changed…in any case, I will keep you both in my thoughts. Big hugs!

Post # 6
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh that’s horrible!  And I know that passports take months even when they are ‘rushed’.

Post # 8
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh sweetie I’m so sorry. My grandmother was 95 when she had a stroke and passed away last summer. I know what you’re going through. I was very close with her as well. There’s really nothing I can say to make it better. You’ve said that she’s lived a long and full life, so try to keep that in mind. I know it’s hard to think of someone so lively (even in her 90s! My grandma was the same) being sick, not doing well. Know that she’s excited for you, that she’s proud of you, and that she loves you. I’m so sorry you’re not able to go see her.Could you get an emergency passport? Maybe if you found someone in the passport office or the enhanced drivers license office who has a heart and would be willing to help?

Just cry when you need to sweetie and let Fiance be there for you. I still get upset about my grandma and Darling Husband is wonderful just letting me cry and get it out. It’s all you can do.

Is there anything one of us Canadian Bees can do? Maybe we could deliver a message to the hospital for you?

Post # 10
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry!  My thoughts are with you and your grandma and I hope that you can get your enhanced license soon enough to have a bit more time with her.  Wishing you the best – we are here if you need us.  Hugs!

Post # 11
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@noritake22: What’s your grandma’s favourite thing to do? Or her favourite movie? I would do or watch whatever that is and just send happy thoughts her way while you do it. Take a break from the wedding planning, I agree. Even just a day off will help you. I know you feel guilty having a wedding and thinking about this happy occasion when you know she’s not doing well and that’s okay. Keep in mind though how happy she is for you that you’re getting married!

My grandmother had her stroke right before we got engaged. We were leaving for a trip when she was in the hospital, it was very back and forth as to the outcome, but my parents forced us to leave. I am so happy I was able to see her though and tell her that I thought Darling Husband and I were getting engaged on our trip. At that point she was still pretty responsive (to me, although sadly not to other family members) and she squeezed my hand, stroked my thumb and a tear slid down her cheek. It makes me choked up right now to know that she was excited and happy for me even if she couldn’t verbalize it, I could feel it, and I knew. I could hear exactly what she would have said. She passed away after we got back, I was able to see her a couple more times but by that point she wasn’t very cognisant of what was going on around her. 

I carried her photo in a locket on my bouquet and I know she was with me. A couple of days after the wedding, Darling Husband and I put our wedding clothes back on and visited her grave as well as my other grandma in her nursing home (she has Alzheimers and was unable to make it). We brought each of them flowers and photos from the wedding. It was hard that neither of my grandmothers could make it, but I know they were each excited, proud, and happy, so try to keep that in mind as best you can sweetie.

I hope you get somewhere with the licensing people Tuesday. It sounds like getting an emergency passport in the States is harder than in Canada. Darling Husband was able to get one in two days here, but maybe they make it more difficult too if you’ve never had one.

Post # 12
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Prayers sent.  I’m so sorry.

Post # 13
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am sorry. I will be praying for all of you. I hope that something works out so that you can go visit her.

Post # 14
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sending all good thoughts your way.  I am so, so sorry.  She is lucky to have a granddaughter who loves her so much.  I know that’s no consolation now, but it is the truth.  Is there a family member who is nearer to you who can be your point of contact?  Someone you can call up to find out what’s going on, hour-by-hour, and (if possible) to put you in touch with your grandmother? 

Again, you have all my warm thoughts.  I never knew one of my grandmothers, and the other passed away a few years ago, but I will be wearing one ring from each of them on my wedding day and my bouquet will be pinned with a butterfly brooch from the one I knew and loved. I hope they will be there in spirit.

Just know that she knows how much you love her, and that you know she loves you.  Those are the most important gifts two people can ever give each other.   Hugs.

Post # 15
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’m definitely sending all my thoughts and prayers your way, I know how hard this can be. I just lost my grandpa in February to colon cancer. He lived in Arizona, and I’m in Minnesota, so I hadn’t seen him in about 3 years when he died. And I’m the only grandchild on that side. I had always imagined him being at my wedding, but he will be there in spirit. We’re having photos of all of our family that has passed, and remembering that they are with us in spirit even if they can’t be there physically. Just remember all the great memories you have with your grandmother, and my thoughts and prayers are with you 🙂

Post # 16
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@noritake22:

You will be in my prayers…you, Gram and your family. I just teared up at my desk at work reading this…I’m so sorry you have to go trhough this right now.

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