- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Ok first off, I don’t care at all who officiates my wedding. As long as it’s official. This issue stems from my other family members.
The background information:
My grandma is kind of.. well completely narcissitic. She always has been. She has three children; my mom, my uncle, and my aunt. I don’t like my aunt at all (hate is more appropriate) for other reasons, and she will not be invited to the wedding (which is unrelated to this story).
My uncle and mom REALLY don’t like their mom. They invite her to family things occasionally because she’s family and they love their dad, but their mom ALWAYS finds ways to create drama and stress. Everytime my mom hosts something where my grandma is involved, she ends up in her room crying with stress.
I won’t go into too much detail, but just know, my grandma is incredibly selfish and maniupulating. I have not dealt with this first hand like my mother has, but I do know where they are coming from.
Now, I don’t personally care about all the things above. She’s my grandma, I see once a year or so. We live a few states away. I don’t “love” her but I don’t get offended when she says things. However this is what happened on Christmas;
I got engaged Christmas morning and I called all my family to tell them. The first thing out of my grandmothers mouth was “You DO know that I can officiate the wedding right? It would be the highlight of my life..” etc etc.
I humored her and kind of laughed it off. My mom and uncles family were really upset because she was “bullying me”. They do NOT want her to do it because it WILL be about herself, and about her nonsense church cult.
Like I said, I dont care. To me, the wedding is more to make my family happy. I couldnt care less who officiates, where it is, who attends (with the exception of my aunt), etc. But I can’t make everyone happy.
My mom, who has done everything for me and is my best friend, does not want her to officiate at all. She is very adament on this. I think I should listen to her, but I don’t know how to confront my grandma about it. This is really stressing my mom out, because now my grandma wants to be more involved in the whole planning, which should be more of my moms job anyways (since shes paying and all).
I feel like no matter what I am going to hurt someone. If I tell my grandma “no”, she will be really passively aggressive about the whole issue and probably make the whole planning process for us kind of upsetting. If I tell her “yes” my mom and uncle’s family will be way more stressed than they need to be.
Has anyone else been in this situation? What would you do??