(Closed) My grandmother wants to wear her wedding dress to mine

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  I think your plan of taking her shopping and buying her a new dress is a good one.

That said, whilst your memories are lovely ones, it sounds like she did to your mum exactly what she’s doing to you now – ignoring what your mum wanted for you (not reading Memoirs of a Geisha, not wearing string bikinis etc.) and doing what she wanted anyway. It must have been maddening for your mum – which is probably why she can sympathise with you over this!

Given that, I’d maybe add your mum to the dress-shopping party – the more attention the better, after all, and your mum might have some tricks up her sleeve that she’s picked up over the years to help win your grandma over!

Post # 33
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I guess I would go against the masses and say let her wear it. I think we all secretly wish we had cause to wear our wedding dresses again, not to say this is the reason we’d have in mind, but it is what it is.

 

For me though, my grandmother has basically risen up to take the place of my own absent mother, and I’d be hard pressed to deny her anything she felt this strongly about. Seriously, no one will mistake her for the bride, and as a guest, I would think it was kind of sweet that you let your grandmother share your spotlight for a moment.

 

Maybe not everyone is as close with their grandparents as I am, but this wouldn’t want to be something I look back at years from now, when my grandmother has passed, and wish I hadn’t denied her something so special to her. Given how generous she’s being helping you with your wedding, is this really going to ruin anything? Is it an odd request? Sure, but not a hill worth dying on in my opinion.

 

Worst case, maybe see if her dress can be altered into more of an evening gown, but seriously, her wearing white or any shade of it isn’t going to ruin your wedding. Then again, I’m not the type of bride who’s going to stomp her feet if someone where’s any shade of white to my wedding.

 

 

  @cmsgirl:  Seriously though, if I found out ANYONE was laughing at my grandmother behind her back for ANY reason, I’d be seriously reevaluating my relationship with that person.

Post # 34
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Maybe mom can help you sneak grandma’s dress out of the house to hold hostage until after your wedding?  She sounds crazy enough that she will probably wear it even though you keep telling her no.  If I were a guest I would think grandma has completely lost it and had zero love and respect for her grandchild.

Post # 35
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I read the title and immediatly thought W-H-A-T??!! Shes crazy! You need to tell her this is your day, your only getting married once nad you want to be the only one wearing a wedding dress. Your just going to have to be stern about it. I cant belive shed even ask that.

 

Families….. They are able to come up with the craziest stuff you never thought youd have to deal with!!

Post # 36
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  sounds crazy BUT is her wedding dress just a nice regular white dress rather than an actual weddingy dress? if so, it wouldnt bother me at all…

Post # 37
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Who would want to wear a wedding dress to a wedding that was not their own?!? If you are not the bride, no wedding dress for you! That’s how it has to be. If its very difficult to convince her, why not take her out shopping and help her pick something appropriate. Give her tons of praise so she feels great in her new outfit. If she is desperate to wear the dress again, why not have a brides party after and all get into your dresses for an evening. My friend keeps talking about doing this and it sounds great fun! Just don’t answer the door to anyone or they might think you are all insane! 😉 

Post # 38
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think taking her on a special trip to buy a dress is a good idea.

Post # 40
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

To it me seems like she just wants to look nice, as she should. She could be insisting on the wedding dress because it has such good memories and probably made her feel very beautiful. It’s actually pretty common for grandmas to be a little self conscious. Have you considered taking her our shopping for a new dress? Find one that’s appropriate and tell her (a lot) how beautiful she looks. You could even exaggerate and tell her jokingly she’s going to steal the spotlight from you or something.

Post # 41
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@Yuno1  “Seriously?  What the fuck Grandma. It’s not your wedding.  Ab-so-fucking-loutely not.”  LMAO

Post # 42
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would not let her wear the dress for her own sake, among other reasons. If I went to a friend’s wedding and saw that her grandmother was wearing a wedding dress, my immediate thought would be that she’s senile. If I knew she wasn’t, then I’d think she is a crazy and selfish so-and-so. Who DOES that?

 

I think your plan of taking her dress shopping is really sweet and clever at the same time. But I’d still have someone keep an eye on her the day of to make sure she doesn’t change her mind at the last minute.

Post # 45
Member
793 posts
Busy bee

@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  I think your idea to take her shopping is a great idea, and I agree with the PP that suggested bringing your Mom along too. That is the craziest thing I’ve seen on the bee in a while, and on some days that’s really saying something! 😉

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