(Closed) My grandpa just doesn’t care

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow.  I’m so sorry for you.  You would think that having a few months to live would make you want to spend time with your family.

Post # 4
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My grandmother was the most kind, loving person in my life growing up. We were like sisters. Up until her death when I was 15 I still spent 3 nights a week at her house.

In the weeks after she was diagnosed with blood cancer and given a month to live, she completely shut down emotionally. At the end she wouldn’t speak to me. I have no idea what must happen to a person mentally who is given a timeline like that. How do you cope with it? Do you make drastic changes hoping it will change your fate? Do you cling to the familiar as a way of coping with what’s about to happen?Do you distance yourself from the ones you love because the idea of leaving them completely shatters you?

All I can say is, it’s highly unlikely he just doesn’t care. He is dealing with something that is just incomprehensible.

Post # 7
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You are not being selfish by being hurt. It is natural for you to be hurt when it is important to you to have someone there and they cannot make it. As long as you are not taking it out on him given the situation you are not being selfish. Just focus on all the joy of Saturday and you will have an amazing night 🙂

Post # 8
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry this is happening to you.

I’m sure that your Grandpa is not doing this intentionally to hurt you.

Perhaps because of his diagnosis, he is grieving for his own loss and unable to participate as he otherwise would.


Post # 9
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

In my opinion, it’s not selfish to be hurt by his actions. If I was given months to live I would want to celebrate with my family. But hey, people react to the news of impending death differently. I’d pretend to be happy for him and try to separate yourself from the situation. Honestly, I feel his actions are pretty hurtful- but the man is dying so I would give him a pass.

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