Post # 1
so long story short, my bio dad is not really in my life at all, my mother raised me and is buying my dress and our cake for the wedding, and as of now fi and i are paying for everything else for the wedding on our own. i have put down all my deposits and all that will really be left is to pay the balances on all that when the time comes…. now…… my paternal grandparents have told me (3 times now) that they would like to help with the wedding, or course i am like “well thank you!!” and i dont want to sound like a brat or anything, so i never ask, well how much?
what do i do?? do i set them down and say “i know you wanted to help so i still need to pay for this which is this much, this which is this much, etc”??
any other tactful opinions on how to go about this?
Post # 3
@stephanie63087: How about just asking them what they had in mind? Then they can either offer up a dollar amount or ask you what you need.
Post # 4
YOu could ask if there is a particular aspect of the wedding they would like to be responsible for that has meaning to them, like the officiant, florist or DJ. Or you can let them know what you have alraedy done, and what is left to pay for/do and ask if they would like to contribute.Talking about money is always awkward when you want to get to the specifics. Sometimes its easier to be blunt the overly polite, so things actually get done.
Post # 5
To start the conversation I would suggest focusing on a particular aspect of the wedding rather than a dollar amount. Say something like “Grandma and Grandpa, you have offered a few times to help out with the wedding and if you are still willing we would love to take you up on that offer… is there something specific that it would like to help with (flowers, music, bar, etc.)”
Post # 6
Yes ask them what they had in mind or what they would like to pay for.
Post # 7
thank you everyone…. im gonna try… talking about money makes me so uncomfortable! ah!!
Post # 8
Those are all really good suggestions. Even if they never do offer up a set amount of money, I’m sure you could involve them in the planning… For example, maybe set up a date with your grandma to stuff envelopes for the invitations, or your grandpa could be in charge of leading the decoration team the day of. Something like that would be great!