(Closed) My grooms ex wore my dress and they got married first.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Tazz05:  He’s a man. He will have no idea it’s the same dress. As a female though, that would bother me enough to get a new dress.

Post # 17
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I totally understand your feelings about this. I didn’t want anyone wearing my dress before I got married (like literally anyone, I was 100% crazy) so I get it! But I agree with PPs who say that he totally won’t remember and definitely will not see her when * you * are walking down the aisle. You will look beautiful!

Post # 18
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Unless he’s insanely into details he won’t even notice

Post # 19
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think he or anyone will notice, especially if the two events are so far apart. He picked you, not the ex.

Post # 20
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Tazz05:  The dress does not really matter! Are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to be different? If she only drinks coffee are you now going to drink tea till the rest of your life in fear of being just like her?


The same dress will look totally different on a different person. Since you love the dress so much, keep it it is yours, it is you.

Post # 21
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

he will have no clue that it is the same dress, so don’t worry about it.

Here’s an “ex wearing my outfit” story for you:

Several years ago my rockstar Mother-In-Law passed away.  She had maintained a very cordial relationship with DH’s ex-w because of the granddaughters involved.  Ex also is going to attend the funeral.  No problem.  Except, she had the EXACT same suit on that I did.  We looked like twins.  DH’s brothers ragged on me all day for that!

I promise, your Fiance will have no idea you are wearing the same dress.

Post # 22
12498 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

KateA17:  If FI’s  ex Girlfriend is married to H’s close friend, I assume she’ll be at the wedding in person. I certainly wouldn’t assume she won’t say anything. OP has to decide how much, if at all, that should or would bother her. 

Post # 23
1161 posts
Bumble bee

Tazz05:  How distinctive is the dress?  At two of the weddings I have attended the brides had dresses that were pretty different to the norm, one had gorgeous dark pink flowers embroidered on it in a tattoo sort of way (it sounds odd but was stunning) and the other had a long sleeved hippy-ish sort of dress so those two stood out (although the hippy ish one would probably belnd in with other hippy ish dresses). But if yours is stunning but still within the range of ‘normal wedding dress’ I think you’ll be ok. You can also accessorise differently and do your hair differently etc, also if you have different figures the dress will look very different anyway (just look at the variety in the you versus the model threads or the threads dedicated to a specifc dress).

Post # 24
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Trust me, he will have no idea that it’s the same dress. Not to stereotype (but I will! 🙂 ), but guys DO NOT remember this stuff. 

Post # 25
865 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I honestly don’t think he’ll notice. Heck, I’d be surprised if more than a handful of acquaintances notice! I’m a bridal consultant and often I’ll put brides back into a dress they tried on previously… Oftentimes NOBODY realizes it’s the exact same dress. If you’re not a bride, I think they all look long and white. 

Just style it differenty to make it your own, and you’re golden! 

Post # 26
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Tazz05:  What does your dress look like if you dont mind me asking?

Previous posters are right he probably wont even recognize it unless it is really unique or distinctive. I’m sorry this happened though, but at least the ex has good taste 🙂

Post # 27
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I mean, don’t we ALL wear the same thing to our wedding? A white dress (probaby strapless, probably with lace, or tulle, or chiffon, in one of like 3 shapes). At the crux of that, it’s all he’ll see. He’s a man. Men don’t know fashion. 

Heck, even people who DO know fashion don’t know specifics. I worked for a luxury retailer and I’m trying to think of specifics of the gowns my friends wore and I honestly recall very little. 

You’re safe – wear the dress and feel amazing in it! If you don’t think you can do that – get a new one ASAP! 

Post # 28
22 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

This just happened to me. A little different in circumstance, but last week at our friend’s wedding, his now wife wore my same dress. 

I was crushed! Anyway, I’ve had some time now to deal with it and Move past it. I went bridesmaid dress shopping with my girls this past weekend and one of my BMs was at that wedding. I asked her if the dress looked familiar. She honestly couldn’t recall the dress one week after she just saw it!

You will look completely different with your hair and jewelry and wedding details. Add a belt or broach To make it really yours. No one will notice. Especially your wedding being 12 months away. And especially your fiance. 1. He’s a guy and they don’t pay that close attention to dresses And detail. 2. He’s marrying you. The only thing he’s thinking about when he sees you is you! 

Post # 30
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


Tazz05:  Men don’t pay that much attention to detail (particularly in someone else’s dress) – all they see is “white dress.”

The topic ‘My grooms ex wore my dress and they got married first.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors