Post # 1
I know I’ve said it here and there but I grew up in the foster care system. When I was a senior in high school (more than 10 years ago) I moved in with a wonderful and caring older couple. My guardians…my guardian angels. They helped me turn my life around, pull up my grades, get into university, helped me furnish my first apartment…you know stuff parents do.
And when Fiance and I decided to get married they were the first people we called. But my guardian (the mom) seemed a little less excited than I had expected. For weeks I dwelled on it. Why wasn’t she more excited? Did she hate me?
So I called again, and just put it out there. I knew something was wrong and wanted to know what it was. Well turns out my guardian (the father) was having some very serious lung troubles…not a lot of details…but that he may be getting a lung transplant sometime soon. Flashforward 11 months and my guardian did get that lung transplant and after 6 weeks in the ICU the lungs from the transplant were a bit more damaged than they had realized and his heart was ready to be at peace and he passed on yesterday morning.
I am devastated and confused. I feel selfish for not wanting him to go and grateful that he won’t have to suffer through this anymore. I’m heartbroken for my guardian (the mother) who has to return from Stanford Medical to a home where her husband of like a bajillion years won’t be there.
My guardian was going to walk me down the aisle. And that’s the first thing people bring up when we tell them that he has passed…they offer to substitute or just acknowledge what a tremendous loss that is for both of us and how both my guardian and I were looking forward to that moment…I dunno my head is still spinning. I guess I haven’t even thought about all that just yet.
But that’s it…a crazy ass week. This week kicked my ass in many good ways and many challenging ways. I will miss him…he and his wife gave me a chance to have a good life. I owe them everything. I will miss him indeed.
Post # 3
@icetea: I’m so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and I hope you can find some comfort during this difficult time.
Post # 4
I am so sorry for your loss. That must be so hard. But I’m also so glad that you were able to be placed with such a wonderful couple. No doubt they had such an impact on you. Wishing you well after this crazy week!
Post # 5
I’m so sorry. Losing someone we love never seems to make sense. I promise you that your memories of him will be sharper now than you ever imagined. It’s strange and comforting.
Try and remember how much better both of your lives were for having eachother in them.
Post # 6
I am so very sorry for your loss. Your story touched me. I spent some time in foster care growing up as well and I understand that kind of relationship you have with a good guardian that is very hard to describe to someone who hasn’t been through it. It’s obvious that he loved you very much and that you felt the same.
Post # 7
I am so sorry ((HUGS)). He sounded like an amazing man who made a difference in the world.
Post # 8
I am sorry for your loss. We are never ready to lose those we love and who love us in return.
It sounds like this wonderful couple was one of the great blessings of your life.
Post # 9
Oh my goodness Im so sorry for your loss I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers
Post # 10
@icetea: Oh I am so sorry that you are going through this. It’s bittersweet, finding your father figure later in life but losing him now. So sorry.
Post # 11
I am so sorry. This is obviously going to be difficult to deal with as he was so important to your life. It will take time, but hopefully after some time to heal, you will find peace in remembering how wonderful he was and all he has done. Those wondeful things will always be with you.
My thoughts are with you.
Post # 12
Thanks everyone. Your words and thoughts truly do help. I slept most of the day, waking up a few times and making calls to family etc. I start each call bawling and by the end feel reassured things will be okay. I guess this is probably all pretty normal to go through.
Post # 13
Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. I just posted something similar. My father passed away suddenly this week, as well as my mother in January. I truly feel your pain and my thoughts are with you!
Post # 14
I am so sorry. Your words are genuine and heartfelt. I got teary-eyed reading how great the loss is. I’m sure your guardian is proud of how great of a woman you’ve become. Know that his life was lived long and well and that he is at peace now.
Post # 15
I, too, am sorry for your loss. It is nice to hear of a success story from the foster care system. Even though you had a lot of bumps, you ended up knowing a wonderful couple who really cared about you. Nobody will replace the role he played in your life so don’t feel like you need to find someone else to walk with you at your wedding. At least not right now. Take care.
Post # 16
@icetea: I am so sorry for your loss. Your story is inspirational. I’m sending prayers your way…