(Closed) my guests are making me regret my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
47294 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
erriikita:  You can make a conscious choice to not let comments from other people push your buttons.

When people complain, or ask about bringing their kids, just say ” We are sorry, but we are unable to accomodate children. If that means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”

Post # 3
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

We are having a no children wedding as well(with exception of two flower girls). I think it is very rude for people to complain about it.  Don’t worry about this issue- they will find a babysitter and make it to the wedding or miss out on an amazing event.  Your wedding day is about you and your fiancé.

Post # 4
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I am under the same situation. 

Not inluding Kids saved us almost $5000. 

I have had a couple of comments but most people were happy to have a night off. 

 

Dont take others comments to heart… and if they do comment just be sure to let them know you’re sad they wont be able to attend. 

Post # 5
Member
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

eff ’em, it’s your wedding.

i’m not having kids at my wedding either.

you’re not being selfish, you’re being reasonable.

Post # 6
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
julies1949:  Very well put!

 

Guests just don’t understand and it’s frustrating because extra people means extra money. A direct response like what Julies said is perfect. Stand your ground!! 

Post # 7
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I always assume that parents would look forward to a child-free night and never understand why they get upset over the kids not being invited to weddings. 

We’re having my step siblings, our nieces and nephews at the wedding; 6 2-12yrs and 1 under 2yrs. If we were to allow everyone to bring their kids, there would be close to 30 kids, pushing our numbers to close to 150 people. I suspect some cousins will be upset that they can’t bring their children. My plan is to hint that the venue has a limit on how many children can be there without a paid baby-sitter/nanny being required and we could simply not afford it.

Post # 10
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I understand you perfectly! I also had a moment when I wished I wasn’t getting married and all because of the guests and their kids and our parents wanting to invite people we don’t know! The guest list was growing and growing and people didn’t seem to like the ‘No kids’ request. I’m sorry, but it’s my wedding and I do NOT want kids running around and being noisy (a bit of a bridezilla, I know)! And on top of that having to pay extra $$ for that…

I eventually got it under control (kind of), and not thinking much about it anymore… If someone shows up with kids, oh well, I made the concious decision it won’t ruin my day.

I hope everything gets sorted and keep firm, it’s your day! xx

 

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I don’t know how much this would cost in NY (I live in AL and it was very affordable) but for my wedding we hired a police officer to make sure no unwanted guests came onto the venue’s property. In our case it was due to the concern that estranged family members would gatecrash but you could just instruct him to remove anyone that shows up with kids! 

We had an adults only ceremony and reception, thankfully and surprisingly everyone respected our wishes. We really just didn’t want children there but we were able to explain it away as a “liability issue” since the venue had a lot of water features that a small child could easily fall into and drown. If you’re being incredibly blunt and forceful and folks are still refusing to cooperate then I think the PO is the way to go. This is YOUR day, you’re allowed to make the rules! 

Post # 12
Member
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

You might have to say to those who are saying “oh, we’ll just bring the kids” that no kids will be admitted to the venue and then hire security staff (or get your DOC, if you have one) to enforce that.  If it means parents have to go home, so be it – you will have warned them.

Post # 13
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee

a friend of mine had that same problem, doesnt anyone understand when they read the darned invite? whos ever name is on it is invited, who ever isnt, isnt. Plain as day. Dumbasses.

Post # 14
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
erriikita:  They say “ok I’ll just bring them”

You said you’re blunt, perhaps say the venue has been told to refuse entry to anyone accompanied with a child. ? It may seem a little harsh, but who the hell, after being explained the reasons, still tries to bring their child?! So incredibly rude of them. 

Post # 15
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It is so rude for people to assume they can bring their kids and even ruder for them to insist. If you are feeling snarky just say to them “you’re welcome for inviting you!”

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