Post # 1
First time blogger – and part of me is going to sound extremely over dramatic however – my potential guests have all just received their invites, and since my fiancé and I are paying for this wedding ourselves we had to do an adults only wedding. just a little info – I live in NY NY the land of expensive everything, I planned this wedding for 3 years to a man who I almost lost & as all brides are – xant wait to embrace this beautiful start to our journey on our wedding day.
problem? My guests are giving me hell about invites, and no kid invites & you name it I’ve gotten it.
its making me regret My wedding and it hasn’t even happened yet, I want to celebrate with our loved ones but this day is about our union – I can’t afford more guests, I’m doing 95% myself (center pieces, invites etc) to save $$ and am I crazy but I think they are being so selfish. You can’t come u can’t come…or am I being selfish for not personally accomedicatoons 150 guests??
Post # 2
You can make a conscious choice to not let comments from other people push your buttons.
When people complain, or ask about bringing their kids, just say ” We are sorry, but we are unable to accomodate children. If that means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”
Post # 3
We are having a no children wedding as well(with exception of two flower girls). I think it is very rude for people to complain about it. Don’t worry about this issue- they will find a babysitter and make it to the wedding or miss out on an amazing event. Your wedding day is about you and your fiancé.
Post # 4
I am under the same situation.
Not inluding Kids saved us almost $5000.
I have had a couple of comments but most people were happy to have a night off.
Dont take others comments to heart… and if they do comment just be sure to let them know you’re sad they wont be able to attend.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
eff ’em, it’s your wedding.
i’m not having kids at my wedding either.
you’re not being selfish, you’re being reasonable.
Post # 6
Very well put!
Guests just don’t understand and it’s frustrating because extra people means extra money. A direct response like what Julies said is perfect. Stand your ground!!
Post # 7
I always assume that parents would look forward to a child-free night and never understand why they get upset over the kids not being invited to weddings.
We’re having my step siblings, our nieces and nephews at the wedding; 6 2-12yrs and 1 under 2yrs. If we were to allow everyone to bring their kids, there would be close to 30 kids, pushing our numbers to close to 150 people. I suspect some cousins will be upset that they can’t bring their children. My plan is to hint that the venue has a limit on how many children can be there without a paid baby-sitter/nanny being required and we could simply not afford it.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your supportive words – very much having an emotional bride moment
im pretty blunt – I put 21 + ceremony & reception on my invite & on the rsvp actually wrote in the name & # of people invited – and still I get the messages people are bringing their kids – so I kindly say it’s not personal it would be an additional 11k if we invited kids & that’s only including kids of 5 yrs old (we have huge families) the package we choose doesn’t include kids meals so it would be adult 4 course meal for any kid that can sit homself in his own chair
my fear is – they will come & I’ll have to pay for the additional heads the day of the wedding & my venue doesn’t take CC – cash or check I physically don’t have the $$ – I was even told “why have a wedding if u can’t invite everyone” … So sorry its open bar top shelf liqour – 4 couse meal – I opted no bridal shower so people don’t spend more $$
3 years I took my time found each vendor I could afford paid them off slowly I bought everything from my table candlEs to my veil wholesale from china – I’ll admit I splurged on my venue… But why are people so difficult – how awkward is it once someone says they don’t have a babysitter and u go, I understand youll be there in spirit … They say “ok I’ll just bring them” …. i don’t understand !!!
Post # 9
thank u – appreciate your response, people are just ahh!
Post # 10
I understand you perfectly! I also had a moment when I wished I wasn’t getting married and all because of the guests and their kids and our parents wanting to invite people we don’t know! The guest list was growing and growing and people didn’t seem to like the ‘No kids’ request. I’m sorry, but it’s my wedding and I do NOT want kids running around and being noisy (a bit of a bridezilla, I know)! And on top of that having to pay extra $$ for that…
I eventually got it under control (kind of), and not thinking much about it anymore… If someone shows up with kids, oh well, I made the concious decision it won’t ruin my day.
I hope everything gets sorted and keep firm, it’s your day! xx
Post # 11
I don’t know how much this would cost in NY (I live in AL and it was very affordable) but for my wedding we hired a police officer to make sure no unwanted guests came onto the venue’s property. In our case it was due to the concern that estranged family members would gatecrash but you could just instruct him to remove anyone that shows up with kids!
We had an adults only ceremony and reception, thankfully and surprisingly everyone respected our wishes. We really just didn’t want children there but we were able to explain it away as a “liability issue” since the venue had a lot of water features that a small child could easily fall into and drown. If you’re being incredibly blunt and forceful and folks are still refusing to cooperate then I think the PO is the way to go. This is YOUR day, you’re allowed to make the rules!
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
You might have to say to those who are saying “oh, we’ll just bring the kids” that no kids will be admitted to the venue and then hire security staff (or get your DOC, if you have one) to enforce that. If it means parents have to go home, so be it – you will have warned them.
Post # 13
a friend of mine had that same problem, doesnt anyone understand when they read the darned invite? whos ever name is on it is invited, who ever isnt, isnt. Plain as day. Dumbasses.
Post # 14
erriikita: They say “ok I’ll just bring them”
You said you’re blunt, perhaps say the venue has been told to refuse entry to anyone accompanied with a child. ? It may seem a little harsh, but who the hell, after being explained the reasons, still tries to bring their child?! So incredibly rude of them.
Post # 15
It is so rude for people to assume they can bring their kids and even ruder for them to insist. If you are feeling snarky just say to them “you’re welcome for inviting you!”