(Closed) My guests are selling their “+1”

posted 11 years ago in Parties
Post # 45
Member
294 posts
Helper bee

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Post # 46
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow!  Never heard of that.  I would be irritated at the “guests,” but even more irritated at the people who took the money.  I like the cash bar idea, but go a step further- tell them no bar at all.  Being a little snarky, I would be tempted to tell everyone who took the money, “Gosh, we have had so many more people respond they are coming than we had planned,” OR “We have so many people trying to come who aren’t invited that we had to hire a bouncer.”

Then…”so we had to cut costs somewhere, so unless we have a lot of cancelations in the next week, we are going to cut the bar and change from dinner to cake and punch.”  I would also be tempted to revoke the +1 for anyone who accepted money and have a security guard at the door.  I know this is bad etiquette, but how would Emily Post respond to this?

And VM- yes, I think you’re cool!

Post # 47
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is bizarre. I would be pissed because…

a) who wants some random people at your wedding?

b) the best man and/or groomsmen are MAKING MONEY off your wedding. that is messed up.

c) paying to be someone’s date so you can go to a wedding is beyond rude and thoughtless. Wtf!

Post # 48
Member
3793 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I had wedding crashers (though they didn’t pay to get in).  Turned out that most of them were the life of the party!  I’d just embrace it and be happy you have a great story to tell.

Our second shooter photographer also happened to be a casual aquaintance of ours and he ended up staying until the bitter end– he helped DJ and everything!

If they want to be there that badly, they are likely to have a great time, which will in turn help everyone else have a great time, which in turn makes your wedding even more fun.

Yes, I can make Lemonade out of any sort of lemons!

Post # 49
Member
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

WOW!  This is insane.  IN a way, it is sort of a compliment.  And in another way, Oh my goodness!  Is this for real?  This is with out a doubt disrespectful and bourderline trashy- people paying people off, and people taking it?  For me, I would feel a little weird around these people that paid to be there- like, are they tring THAT hard to be “popular?”  It is so backhanded.  If someone wants an invite- they should say it to your face.  (Not that that would be much more fun for you.)  I would be appalled!  That is such disrespect.  Yet another reason why I think facebook is a terrible idea (in general)  :/

But as for the best man and groomsmen, I would be livid!  That is more than a little on the trashy side to accept money…

Post # 50
Member
675 posts
Busy bee

VM, you are going to need to hire bouncers for your wedding.

Post # 51
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Mrs. DG makes a point that they may end up being a ton of fun once they get there.  And it’s not like they’re people you actively dislike.

BUT… I suggest as others have said to spread a rumor to their dates that there will not be open bar – or any bar even.  Another thing that might scare them off is if they hear that you’re having a very long service.

Post # 52
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Entangled- I like the long service idea. 

VM- You could tell the people who paid with a super sweet smile, “I heard that you love us so much you bribed someone to come.  We are so flattered you want to come, especially with a two hour service and that the reception is super short, just cake and punch.  We are so honored you want to come so badly.”

Post # 53
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh wow.  That is I guess, a compliment of sorts?  I mean, it’s like getting tix to the new broadway show in town or to a concert!

I guess you two are blessed to have lots of folks who really like you both.  All good! 

Post # 55
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

ask the groomsmen for a cut!!

Post # 56
Member
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@VM- great attitude.  Sorry this is happening to you.  I hope people are respectful in the end and that you feel comfortable and -(I know you WILL) have what you wanted!

Post # 57
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

What is the going rate on going to a wedding anyway? So curious how much they are paying!

Post # 58
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee

@VirginiaMarie: I wouldn’t be as calm as you.  I would sit down with the 3 who did this and tell them that they either uninvite who paid them or they’re tossed out.  This is absolutely ridiculous.  Like you, I actually want people I LOVE to be at my wedding, not some bimbo who wants free booze or who wants to be invited to the “wedding of the season.”  I’d seriously be pissed.  Actually, your Fiance should be the one telling them this.

That is one stupid best man.

Post # 59
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

This is nuts!! If I were you, I would confront every guy who actually accepted money, and tell them that unless they tell the girls they can’t come, they’re not coming either. That’s totally unacceptable, and if they’re good friends (especially good enough to be in the wedding party!) they will understand and deal with the situation they put themselves in.

This is your wedding and these people are being assholes. Don’t put up with it. I can’t think of any situation where this would be remotely OK. It’s kind of funny in one way, but it’s also very disrespectful of you guys. :/

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