(Closed) My Heart is Breaking.

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m so glad things are working out for y’all. What an awful few days. But, I think counseling is a good idea. After working through this and dealing with these awful people it should only make y’all stronger.

Post # 48
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Ah, bridezilla, I’m glad you two are working things out.  Good luck in counseling and with your wedding!

Post # 49
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I really hope things are okay but it sounds like a desperate time that’s calling for a desperate measure from him. Can you confirm he was there with his friends?

Post # 50
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You guys aren’t even married and going to counseling?!  Trust you instincts and get out of a situation that’s only going to get worse. 

  I wish someone would have told me that.  I had problems with my in-laws, and since, they have escalated.  When you marry a person, you marry the family as well.  I love my husband more than anything, but I wish I was in a better in-law situation.

Post # 51
Member
15 posts
Newbee

It really troubles me that he came in, collapsed and started crying that he was framed – and then admitted to you that he was lying.

That is VERY disturbing behavior for a man and I think you should seriously consider whether or not you can marry someone who is admitting that he is a compulsive liar (and an extreme one, too).

Your man is supposed to be a rock of strength to support you and therefore should always “man up” instead of throwing himself to the ground in a histrionic, theatrical fit of lies.

Please be very careful – not only did he lie to you, but he told another girl that he would call her!!! Which means that he was probably flirting with her in that parking lot the entire time. Can you trust him that he didn’t roll his eyes when he saw your number on his phone and feign annoyance when he took your call? Do you really think that an engaged man who takes another woman’s number would happily stop flirting to answer your call without pretending to the other girl that you were a pain in his butt?

I have fears that he is contributing to this whole situation more than you realize. Get out while you can.

Post # 52
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I am so happy for you that the truth came out. Clearly J’s side of the family has issues but it’s good that the rest of the family are all on your side & very supportive.

I kind of think for a guy that agrees to go to counseling means he is sincere and willing to work/improve anything to make things better.

Hope all the negative people will not bug you after you switch your number or block off theirs. Best of luck with the wedding & everything!

Post # 53
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The fact that he has lied to you before (about, as he said, unimportant things) is a bit alarming to me. My boyfriend has a cousin who is in the process of a divorce. Through the course of their relationship, her husband had told lies about the most innocuous things. When they were dating, he told her he was born in a different country, but eventually came clean and admitted he was born in Canada. There was no need to lie about that, but he did. This year she caught him in his biggest lie – he was having an affair. They’ve got two young kids. 

I’m not saying that this is where you’re heading, but just saying that sometimes small lies can snowball, and if he’s comfortable lying to you about small things, he could become comfortable about lying with bigger things. That’s worrisome.

I hope that the therapy is beneficial, and I hope that he can work through his issues, but keep in mind that it might take him more than a few months to do so.

Post # 54
Member
7 posts
Newbee

I’m so glad that it worked out for you!  Some people love to make others miserable. I had a situation where a my friend’s ex-girlfriend managed to hack into his computer and cell and started harassing and threatening me. 

Please enjoy your wedding and leave this drama and J behind you.  All the best!! 

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