- 6 years ago
Hi Bees – I’m hoping you guys can provide me some support, because I often feel like I’m going a little crazy.
What I want more than anything in my life is to be a mom. I have a career, but as much as I try to convince myself that it is my passion, it simply is not. Everyone around me, including those closest to me, is getting pregnant. I am trying so hard not to be jealous/angry, but I have been unsuccessful.
My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married almost 3. I’m 26, he’s 28. He wants to wait. He has this extreme reaction about waiting whenever I bring it up. He freaks out about wanting to be financially sound. We own a home, have our masters, and have been saving. In my mind, we are ready. I wanted to start trying in my early 20s. He says if he had it his way, he would want to wait at least 10 years. We tried to come to a compromise, for 3 years from now, but even that seems impossible for me.
Whenever I bring it up, he gets so angry. He is like, “Well, then I need to get a new career so we can make more money.” After several really difficult talks, he finally came out with a pretty profound insight. He said he is afraid that once we have a baby I will forget about him. He thinks that he will lose me. It hurt me so much that he thought that and I really tried to show him that I want to parent WITH him and it’s something I can’t wait to do WITH him. He says he feels so much better about it – but still is resisting me on trying sooner.
Has anyone been in my shoes? What did you do to cope? I feel like I am physically breaking. I am not trying to whine, it’s just unbearable sometimes. I feel like I cannot wait. I don’t want to push him if he is not ready, but sometimes I feel like he is REALLY not listening to what I want too. I am really trying to respect his wishes, as I know that’s important, but I can’t help but to feel like I will end up resenting him.
I am eating uncontrollably because I’m upset. I’m overall just feeling badly about myself.