(Closed) My heart is broken, my BFF is acting jealous of my wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BkBride1045:  I want to say that usually, and generally, the bride is much more excited than anyone else. “They’re cute” would be a response I might give about shoes, only because I don’t know much or care much about shoes. Not knowing you had spent hours tracking down a photo, I might acknowledge it and move on.

I understand that you want your BM’s and Maid/Matron of Honor to be more excited, but sometimes that doesn’t happen. I think you need to be happy for you! They are supporting you by being there and standing up for you, but getting excited about wedding planning, especially since they are likely not thrilled about everything because of their own relationships, likely isn’t going to happen soon.

Sorry if this came off a bit harsh, but I wanted to be honest.

Post # 4
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with PP. I am sorry for your troubles, but you are going to be more excited than anyone else. Also, your wedding is more than 4 months away. At 4 months away my BM’s were happy for me, but they didn’t share my same enthusiasm because, of course, it’s my wedding and if your BM’s have had relationships like that in the past, forgive them for not having as much enthusiasm. It should get better once the day is closer and there is more for them to look forward to.

The thing with the shoes you need to let go. It is slightly self-absorbed to expect your BM’s to give you more of a reaction. There is nothing wrong with “their cute.” If my BM’s had said anything more, especially since I know their personality, I would have thought they were being flaky.

Like PP, sorry for the harsh words–you are going to look and feel fabulous the day of your wedding, and all that matters is that you and Fiance are happy together.

Post # 5
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

How is she acting jealous?  It doesn’t seem that way from your post.

Post # 6
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

If your BFF is jealous, it’s not coming across in your description of her behavior. It sounds like you want other people to be as excited about your wedding plans as you are, and while your much-missed mother might have been, it’s not realistic to expect anyone else to be. It’s unreasonable for you to want extreme enthusiasm about things like your choice of wedding shoes. A lack of excitement about things like this doesn’t mean anything about how much your friends love you. I think, rather than stressing about how your BFF isn’t excited enough, it would be a better use of your time to focus on yourself and your expectations of other people. A few sessions with a therapist might help. (I am not in ANY way suggesting that there’s something “wrong” with you! Most people could benefit from some time with a qualified therapist.)

Post # 7
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

NO ONE is as excited about your wedding as you are. Trust me on this one. As soon as I realized this it made my life and role as a bride so much easier.

Post # 8
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ditto.  Your heart is breaking because your friend said your shoes are cute?  That sounds a little silly to me.

Post # 9
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

So sorry you don’t have your mom with you. That must be so hard. I think pp were just a little harsh with you since I think your just missing someone close to you to really share this experience with. I do think a bm is probably not going to be that person, especially since they are going through a bad time themselves. An aunt or a grandma could be someone you should reach out to. Tell them your missing your mom and really need to share this with them. Also if you have a good fmil telling her how you feel could help you both feel closer to each other. Give your bm’s some slack here, they are still your friends but they just can’t replace your mom:(

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