Post # 17
omg .. ((((HUGS))) and hot chocolate.
I haven’t had pics taken of me but i’ve been in one of those relationships… for a short time. thankyou mom for watching out for me.
My Mom would feel your pain and confusion and understand it. My dad persued her hard core, he was going to get her. She had three kids at the time, pre-teen. They kissed one night, the next day they met for lunch. She told him everything… things that are even worse than naked pics of you on the net… the things her first husband did to her … I am the only one that knows not even my brothers now. She told me she just vomited all this disgusting stuff that happened on hm and he said …. ok so we can date now and set a wedding date?
you deserve a man like that. You aren’t you’re past. You should NOT BE puniished for that for the rest of your life.
You should get some counseling … and just … take a deep breath, pick up a few classes(school never hurt anyone) and maybe revisit this relationship after you’ve had some clarity and time to think.
ETA … boys can’t get past things .. men know there was a life before them, and love you anyway (per my grammy)
Post # 18
- Wedding: December 2019 - City, State
It really bothers me that he’s holding against you something that happened when you were too young to legally consent to it. You were the victim in this, not the wrongdoer. It bothers me anyway when people hold long-ago past things against a person, but even more so in this case because you were underage and coerced. It’s wrong of him to blame you in any way.
Post # 19
If any forums are still showing any images of you, you can report them to the moderator for underage pornography. That solves one problem.
Post # 20
Can you sue your ex for publishing naked photos of you on the internet without your consent? Because I’m pretty sure you can, and I would!
If you were under the age of consent at the time of the photos, he can even go to jail! It would technically be child porn and that’s a serious crime.
I’m very sorry your current SO judged YOU for what your ex did with those photos. It sounds like he is not that great of a man himself. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You should not be ashamed of giving your ex naked pictures (when he was your boyfriend) and your ex putting them online illegally. This is really not a reflection of bad character on your part at all. Please don’t allow people to make you feel bad even though you have done nothing wrong.
Post # 21
this cant be happening. of all nights. i was just called by my countys jail and was told my ex was released 10 mins ago. i didnt know he was stil in jail. i thought he was back in his state. i cant believe he is a town away from me. im so scared.
Post # 22
2 years ago i went through the process of getting him held accountable for publishing my pictures. court time came, he was looking at up to 30 some years in prison. however the judge just saw it as ‘sexting’ and he didnt go to prison but has to register as a sex offender for the next 25 years.
i was just called and told that he was released tonight. i cant believe this. my life is a fucking joke. im losing my bf, and now the man im scared of is a town away from me.
im so shaken up
Post # 23
You should be able to get a restraining order. If you don’t live with your bf, can you spend a few nights with your parents until the order is in place?
Also, something else occured to me: your bf is committing a criminal offence (accessing child pornography) if he deliberately looks up those old photos.
Post # 24
@lostheart165: Your past isn’t haunting you, your current boyfriend is. He has no right to make you feel so bad for, as others have said, being victimized by your abusive ex. You need to forgive yourself for what happened and put the blame where it rightly belongs–your ex. And frankly, your current boyfriend for continuing to victimize you for something that was not your fault. Stand up for yourself, girl! You don’t deserve to be punished by ANYONE for what happened in the past! You don’t owe your current boyfriend or anyone an apology for what happened. It was not your fault. I also find it very disturbing that your boyfriend is upset at having to “share” you. Honestly, he does not sound very mature or supportive. Real men are happy to be with real women, warts and all. Real men don’t get caught up in the fantasy of some “pure” virginized little lamb, and they certainly don’t get upset at their partners for having lived life before them. You can do much better than your current boyfriend based on how you’ve described him here, IMO. But not until you forgive yourself & allow yourself to move on.
ETA: I’m so sorry to hear that your ex was released. That’s awful. He sounds like a real piece of work. 🙁
Post # 25
i had called the county jail back im so scared. she assured me that there is an order that my ex is to not have any contact with me directly or indirectly no calls or text.
i just texted my bf thatbhe was released. im not looking forward to his response. he works 3rd shift and goes on break in 4 mins. my God help me.
i need strength 🙁 I need help
Post # 26
Your past has nothing to do with the current situation, your current boyfriend does. You or your exboyfriend (even with his abusive behavior) have nothing to do with this. Your boyfriend is an adult man that can’t handle that you, like everyone, have a past.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope everything gets better.
Post # 27
OP listen to this. For your safety get a restraining order.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. I’m glad you took action against that dirtbag, that was very brave of you. Now for your SO, he is being a completely irrational and manipulative. I know you are hurting right now but you can see he has no right to feel this way towards you right? You were a victim and your SO is just criminlizing you for something that happened way before him. Not to mention you were in an abusive relationship and instead of trying to console you he is blaming you for having to “share you.” Which he isn’t sharing you. If a man in the street checks you out are you to blame for that too?
I hope you feel better and stay safe 🙂
ETA: Just saw your update I’m glad there’s a retraint order.
Post # 28
i feel drained. im crying. i was not expecting ths call tonight. when will this mess end?
it just feels too ironic for this to happen. my bfs breakdown saturday now this whole ex situation today.
am i ever going to be happy? all i want in life is to be happy. im your everyday average girl who wants to be married. im such a believer in love, yet bad things always happen to me im always having a roadblock.
you guys have been so nice to me. i cant thank you all enough. you dont know how much you brighten my spirits up..complete strangers taking their time to write. people who are actually caring about me.
Post # 29
I’m confused. You said he wasn’t sent to prison for his crime, but that he was just released? Was he in prison for something else?
Post # 30
he was being held in jail because he had a bond. and it was quite high cause he is from out of state. i just thought he went back to his state after the court rulings. but no, i guess they held him til now.
im just as confused as you are, i dont understand the criminal system well. but all i care about is that i have a protective order.
Post # 31
Yes, of course you will be happy! IMO though based on what you write here, you do need to work on your self-esteem & on being happy with yourself on your own. Therapy may help with that. You are an incredibly strong person to have gotten out of the abusive relationship at such a young age, and to have moved on with your life. There are people who stay in these types of relationships for decades, so you are already on your way to happiness. If there’s one thing that this whole mess happening right now should teach you, it’s that anyone who loved and respected you would be supporting you during this difficult time, not pulling away from you and belittling you for something that happened long ago while you were still a minor. Your boyfriend should be reaching out to you with love and support, not judgment. I hope you realize that you are better than this, and that you deserve someone who helps hold you up instead of bringing you down.