Post # 32
Even though your Fiance knew you wer planning 2 surprises for him did he KNOW they were considered a gift? Maybe he thought they were part of the wedding. I’m going to agree with others that most men need to be told exact things and not just give hints. If you said “I’d like to exchange wedding gifts and I have a few for you so you might want to start thinking of something special you’d like to give to your new bride”. For me and my husband, we didn’t exchange gifts. There was nothing in the world he could have given me more than professing his love and devotion to me on our wedding day.
I’m sorry so many things went wrong with your wedding. Unfortunately brides have a vision in their head of their wedding day. In this vision the Mother-In-Law is sweet and doesn’t interfere, ALL the guests RSVP and ALL show up, the bridesmaids love love love everything the bride wants them to wear, the flower girl goes down the aisle without screaming for her parents, the caterer shows up on time and the day ends without one mishap. There is so much time and effort that we go through planning our weddings plus they’re expensive. We plan for everything but we don’t plan for the unexpected. This isn’t reality so when something doesn’t go as planned we are let down and rightfully so, it hurts. I know, I had a few bumps at our wedding and all I can tell you is almost one year later I’m more in love with my husband today and I ONLY remember the perfect parts to our wedding!!!
Post # 33
I think youneed to be REAAAAAALLY obvious with most men if something is important to you. Let him know that you’re disappointed and that he can make it up to you if he’s interested, but then let it go. In the future, be beat-him-over-the-head obvious about what you want. A lot of men aren’t good at clues or reading between the lines.
Post # 34
I never heard of this gift giving business before finding the Bee. I think a ring and a new husband is gift enough. A card with some beautiful words to keep forever would be lovely but a gift? I don’t think that necessary.
Post # 35
I’ve never understood this trend… why do brides/grooms give each other gifts… isn’t a wedding, marriage, and honeymoon enough?
I’d put it down to him being a man, and men often don’t think about things like this (hell, I’m a woman and it never occurred to me).
Post # 36
I agree with all of the PPs. just brush your shoulders off, you did something way extra that you didnt need too, thats nice. Good for you. You and your hubs spent enough time and money and effort on the wedding, and that should be enough. Stop worrying about it, and spend time with the one you love.
Post # 37
You might try getting him to read the book The Five Love Languages.
While I hate to admit it, one of my biggest love languages is gifts, and when I don’t get them I start to feel unloved. Seems silly, and rationally I know this, but it’s just the way it is. You might be the same way. If so, and if hubby knows this, he can try to use that love language. It doesn’t have to be big gifts or materialistic (for me). I just find the thought of something gifted really makes me feel loved.
You might also read it to figure out his love languages.
Post # 38
I think it’s something really romanticized by wedding photography nowadays. We did exchange, but because, as huge hunters I knew I always wanted to give him a shotgun etched with our wedding date. Something special to have forever. He got me a kitchen aid, told to by a friend, so it was not super romantic- but he did write a cute note, which sort of helped ease the forceness of it. I wouldn’t say i would have been dissapointed with nothing- I gave it to him because i wanted us to have soemthing special between the two of us (besides an awesome marriage!)