(Closed) My hubby works nights :( VENT

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know how you feel. SO works nights. Overnights, actually. His shifts go from 7 pm to 7 am. And it’s not the same nights every week. One week he works Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun, the next week he works Wed and Thurs. Then repeat. It’s awful! I spent the last year out of work, just enjoying being a Stay-At-Home Mom, but the nights are so hard because he isn’t there sleeping next to me, and then when he comes home at 7:30 he goes straight to bed just as I’m getting up. I just started a new job on Monday, and now we really never see each other because I work 11 am – 7 pm. He loves his job and they take great care of him there, but I really hate his schedule!

Maybe if your hubby works there long enough, he will get tenure (if they do that) and then he’ll have a bit more control over when he works. I hope next semester is easier on you two!

Post # 4
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That sucks!  I know how you feel.  Right now Fiance has a job that is a day shift only, which is awesome.  But for a long time a couple of years ago he worked a night shift.  Only nights too, it was terrible.  He would work 11 pm- 7am.  I missed him so much that I would go over to his house sometimes (we didn’t live together at the time) and just sit with him while he slept during the day.  I would read while he slept; it was really sad actually now that I think about it. 

 

Post # 5
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I work night shift. Fiance works day shift. It can be pretty poopy.

Post # 6
Member
11394 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

My husband works nights, also. He is a disptacher at his work place, he watches all of the workers on a computer screen through a tracking device on their hard hats & lets them know where to be & when. He also does computer processing, as well. Like you I am very proud of my husband! He has been there for around three years now & just got a promotion last year with a raise. He works Sunday-Friday from 10 pm – 6 am. He gets off every Saturday & every other Friday. I clean alot also, to help the time pass. πŸ˜› You could start a late night class, like art or cooking. Go to the gym during the evening, late night run? Anything to help the time pass. I love photography, but its hard to take pictures at night. So during the day while my hubby is sleeping I love to take pictures. I also have four fur babies to help keep me entertained at night. haha I love writing also. I have started on the same book more than 5 times (I WILL finish it someday.) You could start reading at night, also. Yogo or work out sessions in your living room. Just get creative & do things you love to do that are fun & relaxing. πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel your pain. About 6 weeks before we got married my husband got a GREAT job working as a 911 operator. His main shifts go from 6p-6a roughly 4 nights a week. I work days from 8-5 so I don’t get to see him near as much as I want. I’m starting to get our apartment just the way a like it and I thank his work schedule for that. Lets me do what I want, how and when I want and I don’t have to run everything past him. He’s absolutely fine with whatever. I’m sure it’ll all wear off tho but just take time to relax and enjoy YOUR time. πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Fiance works days and I work nights.  We’re slowly adjusting to it, but I can tell you that I really don’t care for it.  I’d say we have the weekends to look forward to, but I work every other weekend – Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Soooo.. that about blows it.

I know what you mean though.  I try to keep busy when Fiance has work then night class when I have off (like today).  I’m going crazy because I’m currently staying with a family member until we can move into our apartment November 1st.  I feel like there’s nothing to do and I don’t really care to socialize right now because I just finished my 3 night weekend.  So, I guess I’ll watch tv and be on here throughout the night.

Keep your head up though! Sometimes it’s nice to miss them.

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@HeyKaraoke: That sounds like my schedule.  One week I’m working Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.  Then it’ll be a Wednesday or Thursday – repeated.  Yay for hospitals.

Post # 10
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It seems that those evenings when he is working are when you should have YOU time. Take a fun class like dancing or something.  Maybe join a league like volleyball or bowling.  Volunteer on one or more of those evenings.  Volunteer work is very fulfilling. If you don’t like staying up late to go get him, just have him take the car.  Maybe you could study on one or more of those evenings so you don’t have to stay up waiting for him if you don’t want.  Or… if you’re off doing your own thing, maybe he can come pick you up from where you are after he’s done with work.  : )  

Post # 11
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I feel ya on this one… Fiance is in the national guard and is a fire fighter.  He’s been deployed before and it sucked big time.  His 24 hour fire fighter shifts aren’t great either but absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder.  I miss him when he’s gone but it makes our time together that more special.  Its also kind of nice to have a night by myself once in a while.  I usually watch movies or tv shows I’m too embarassed to watch when he’s here…like Bridezillas! Wink

Post # 12
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I read the book “Fit to be Tied” by Bill Hybles for one of my sociology classes in college.  It’s a bit religious however had a great suggestion in it, about making time for a date night.  The pointed out that it doesn’t have to be a date night, but whatever will fit into your day.  For example the author and his wife have breakfast at a diner once a week.

Post # 13
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

my new hubby is also a firefighter….his shifts are also 24 on and 24 off so we never get a full weekend together or anything but like the post above i get my “me time” and it makes me miss him.  I envy all of you that say he works just over night shifts and not like what i have!

Post # 14
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know that feeling so very well and it’s pretty frustrating when you want things to change and they aren’t. My Hubby has worked the graveyard shift at his job (12-8 AM) for a little over 1 year and I work daylight hours so our schedules just aren’t the same. The toughest thing is we don’t share any days off together (unless I’m off for a Holiday or I call off work on one of his days off which is rare). We also only get to sleep together 2 nights a week (on his nights off) which is very hard on me. I try to focus on the fact that he makes very good money which helps us pay our debt off a lot faster.

It’s easier to deal with when you’re at least trying to change things I’ve found. My Hubby is applying for a new job (It’s daylight hours, but the terrible thing is that it will be a pay cut). It would at least allow us more time together so money isn’t everything.

Best advice I can give is try to find new things to do on your own so you don’t feel lonely.

Post # 15
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I hear all of you bees… My Darling Husband is a meteorologist (don’t believe the hype; they’re paid terribly!) and is the only person at his particular company who can cover every single shift – meaning, if someone calls off, he gets called in. His usual work week is something like: Mon OFF Tues OFF Wed 5 AM – 1 PM Thur 3 AM to 12 PM Fri 5:30 AM to 1:30 PM Sat 2 AM to 10 AM Sun 2 AM to 10 AM but at any point during the evening, his phone can ring and he has to dash to bed because he needs to go in to work in several hours. His shift is always 3 AM to 12 PM during every holiday season, so I rarely see him from November through January and May through September.

We never go out on weekends; our date night is Sunday night (but it’s not a late night because I work 8 AM – 5 PM M-F); we don’t have many friends outside of his workplace because people don’t like eating dinner with us at 5 PM; all of my vacation days are used up because he only gets so many weekends off per year, so it’s my time that is compromised. He is tired a lot and our sex life suffers as a result. πŸ™ I’m afraid for parenting because he loses patience so easily as a result of constant exhaustion.

It’s a hard life; I’ve had to make many compromises and I spend many nights by myself with a book, the DVR, or my computer… but I try to remember it’s the life I chose. That can be hard when his alarm is going off at 1:15 AM and I just fell asleep, or he’s snuggling up to me on his night off and I’m used to sleeping alone. I hate his company for not paying him more to help compensate for our lack of time so at least I can afford more hobbies!

It helps to know there are others out there who feel the same way I do. Thanks for starting this post; happy holidays to you all!

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