- 5 years ago
Good evening everyone! I need some insight on how to deal with this situation in the best possible way.
When my husband and I met I already had 7 tattoos. Most of them were small and hidden most of the time except for the one on my ankle (a butterfly about 1 1/4″ large) and the barbed wire around my arm (similar to Pamela Anderson’s tattoo). I’ve always liked the art of tattoos. I got my first one when I was 18 and don’t regret any. Except for my ex-husband’s name (which is now covered with pretty flowers). Ever since I was maybe around 21 I liked the idea of getting a sleeve just on one arm. I still sort of have that desire but maybe not a full sleeve, just maybe some scattered tattoos here and there on that same arm. I just love tattoos.
My husband only has 1 tattoo. He has his mother’s name on his chest, it’s not very large and hidden unless he’s not wearing a shirt of course. He really dislikes tattoos. For the most part he thinks they are trashy and the fact that everyone has tattoos now (especially women) it turns him off even more (he likes to go against the grain). He hates talking about tattoos, he doesn’t care to see them and always talks bad about people with tattoos. It is rare he will like one.
While married to him I ended up adding to my arm tattoo. It was a large piece (about 1/4 sleeve). I didn’t want to necessarily cover up my barbed wire but instead make it a tattoo that had more meaning ( I think more about tattoos now then I did when I was younger). He didn’t like the idea. He would have preferred I get it removed entirely because he felt it was the best thing for me in the long run. I on the other hand thought it would be the worst thing in the long run. Why? Because #1 . Sometimes when tattoos are removed there is a scar left (which would make me want to cover it with a tattoo anyways)
#2. I might miss the fact of having a tattoo there since I had it for years and would end up getting tattooed again.
#3. I would still have the urge to fill up my arm like I have always wanted so why waste so much money for removal.
Well he relunctantly agreed and said “Ok if that’s what you want”. Of course when he saw it finished he smiled and liked the design but still I know they are not his cup of tea.
Anyway well as you can figure out I want another. My grandmother passed away and I want to dedicate a tattoo to her as she meant a lot to me. The new tattoo won’t be that small. It will be fairly large but not as large as my 1/4 sleeve. I don’t have many places I would consider getting another (no back tattoos as I like to admire my art & no leg or ankle tattoos as I don’t like them for myself). This tattoo will most likely be under my 1/4 sleeve or my outer forearm (which will then be very visible at all times). I have decided if I go that route it can be covered with long sleeves and no I won’t mind wearing them daily if need be. At the job I currently have tattoos can be visible.
I guess you can say I am the black sheep of the family. Neither one of my parents had tattoos and really nobody in my family either. They are definitely looked at as trashy and unattractive in my family on both sides. But I can’t help it. I just love them and I love getting them done. Now yes we have children. While I do think one day they will ask or be influenced to get one, I don’t think it’s a big deal. My parents and family didn’t have any, I have a lot now. Some people have parents with tattoos and just don’t like them. What can I say? My mother does not want me to get anymore as she thinks it will upset my husband and says “You are a mother now. You shouldn’t get more”.
So what do I do? I do respect my husband but at the same time if one day we get divorced am I going to regret not living my life the way I wanted? I mean when he married me I had lots of tattoos already. Sure they were’nt that visible but did he honestly think I would not get anymore?
Should I or should I not get another? Any advise is welcome. Sorry this turned out to be so long.
**FYI I am 31 years old, going on 6 years of marriage and we have 2 small children together if case that makes a difference**