(Closed) My husband and tattoos don't mix.. How do I deal with this? LONG

• Eckle
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2014

I can see both sides. It’s your body and you should do what you want with it, but you and your husband are life partners and permanent decisions should be discussed and, ideally, made together. Ultimately I think if your husband is really supportive in his love for you he should want you to do what makes you happy without judging you.

Also your mother has no point in saying you shouldn’t get more tattoos because you’re a mom now. My mother got her first tattoo when I was in highschool. As her kid did I think she was a bit crazy to get a tattoo for her 45th birthday? Yes, but I think she picked a really pretty design and it was her choice, her body (In fact while MOB dress shopping I told her she should get it touched up because it was fading :P). Did my mother getting tattooed cause me to run out and get one? No, I’ve thought about getting a tattoo, but according to my allergist the likelihood that I am allergic to tattoo ink is high so that is probably permanently off the table for me.

• animallover
• 4 years ago

He is entitled to his opinion, but it is your body. As long as you dont get your face tattood, i dont see any problems with it. I dont think you should consider not getting them because your husband does not like them. Its like getting a haircut or dying your hair- its your decision. If you like tatoos and want more than get them. Tell your husband you respect his opinion, but you like them so you are getting more. 

• BelliniChic
• 4 years ago

@JustLove25:  

I have to start off by saying that I don’t like tattoos at all, so my advice is biased and you can take this for what it’s worth. But I think you should listen to your husband. If he really, really wanted to dye one little clump of his hair orange and purple and wear one tiny little dot of sparkly green eyeshadow on the tip of his nose, how would you feel? Would you agree with him if he told you it’s only a small thing?

I also would think about how an armful of tattoos would affect your ability to be considered for jobs. I don’t know what sort of education you have or what your career goals are (if any), but tatoos are generally not considered an asset in white collar settings.

I know you don’t think it’s a big deal to get one more little tattoo, but I’m just raising some points you might want to consider… or not.

Good luck with whatever you decide. 

• marzipanda
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2013

I feel like even though he deosn’t agree with tattoos he still fell in love with you for who you are. That’s special. 

He went in knowing you were tattooed but obviously felt they were tasteful enough for him. However, during the time he’s known you you have given yourself more and larger more obvious tattoos and he still was ok with it, (of course, he loves you) but at what point do you say to yourself, “my guy hates tattoos but loves me anyway, he has been patient with my wanting more and has accepted me for who I am but maybe I should respect that he doesn’t like heavily tattooed women and stop now”

I really believe that respect and tolerance goes both ways and you need to show some as well.. after all, not all men are that accepting of something they hate!

• MrsWBS
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: November 1999

@JustLove25:  ultimately, your body your choice.

though, I just read something about a possible link between tattoos and cancer. 

• Odipea
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: January 2015

I wouldn’t do it, but it sounds like your mind is made up. I don’t know how I’d feel adding something to my body that I know 100% my husband doesn’t like, and that society judges you (positively or negatively) for.

Then again, I don’t really “get” tattoos, and I do think they negatively impact your chances of getting hired in a professional setting if you have any visible ones.

Isn’t there another way to commemorate your grandmother? Why don’t you take your tattoo sketch to a professional artist, and have them re-create it as a beautiful painting you can frame and put in your house?

• CowboysandAngels
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: August 2010

@MrsWBS:  Here is an article that came up for me when I searched:

http://www.environmentalhealthnews.org/ehs/news/2011/tattoo-inks-face-scrutiny

Although, I’m fairly certain that there are links between breathing and cancer, so these days I tend to take these warnings with a grain of salt. If you live long enough, you’ll get cancer.

@JustLove25:  OP, in the end it is your body, and therefore your decision. My FI dislikes tattoos as well, and although I have a couple, I will not get any more because I’m ok with what I’ve got and he’s just not into them.

• lovelyhulagirl33
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2015

@JustLove25:  Well, when he met you, you already had them. They don’t make you a different person! I think it’s unfair for anyone to dictate whether you should or shouldn’t get any more/have them removed unless YOU yourself don’t like the tattoos anymore.

It is ultimately something where you’re going to have to figure out a middle ground.

• flowercrowns
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2015

My first instinct is your body, your decision. However, if I were you, I wouldn’t do it. Relationships are give and take, and I’m sure there are some things your husband would like to do that you have an aversion to, so he doesn’t do it. For the most part, while I think the principles reason supports getting the tattoo, I’d personally feel uncomfortable doing something knowing that my FH finds it repulsive.

• beachbride1216
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@JustLove25:  I am not a fan of tattoos, especially visible tattoos on women myself.  I think it’s trashy and unfeminine.  HOWEVER, it’s your body and if you want to cover it with art then you shouldn’t have to get your husband’s permission.  He knew you had tattoos when he married you and typically someone with more than one or two tattoos is probably going to be into getting more tattoos because they like geting tattoos.  Since he clearly hates them, maybe you can figure out a way to get a smaller tribute tattoo for now that you can add to later.  I find it hard to believe he would divorce you over tattoos alone, unless there are other communication issues in your marriage.

• allyfally
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2014

I love tattoos, so I’d do it. I mean, is one more little tattoo really that big of a deal when you already have so many? If he can fall in love with you with you having them, he can stay in love with you if you have one more.

• memo
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: July 2015

FI doesn’t like tattoos, but I got one. When I got one, his mom didn’t talk to me for 3 months and I wasn’t aloud at their house (where FI lived at the time). I still cover it up when possible when they’re around. It was a HUGE headache. Even though FI didn’t like them, he still stood up for me when it came to talking to his mom. (this was 5 years ago)

I don’t regret my tattoo at all.

But on the other hand….I don’t feel like doing all that shit again, especially because FI doesn’t like them.

I guess it depends on how badly you want one

• MsW-to-MrsM
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: September 2014

I would not get a tattoo without SO’s approval.

• shesho
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: June 2013

Although its your body and you have every right to do what you want with it, I would respect your husbands opinion. He is your husband and should have a say in your permanent decisions. He also has to look at it every day.