(Closed) My husband got groped at a wedding!

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t have anything to make you stop thinking about it and move on but you need to think about why this bothers you so much now that you can’t sleep.  It was a stupid woman who touched your husband, he didn’t like it or enjoy it and I’m sure that you made your disapproval known even though you didn’t say anything to her.  Who cares if she is still having a laugh about it, why even care what a trashy person like that thinks or says about you?

Post # 4
1518 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I understand it upsets you but if she isn’t someone that is in your life (sounds like you don’t see her ever) than you kinda have to let it go. You are only hurting yourself by letting it bother you. I would be furious too but it isn’t healthy (lack of sleep, stress) to keep dwelling on it. If she is a friend or someone you see often then i would confront her but if not then there isn’t much you can do without looking like the bad one — by starting a confrontation over something “small” (in their minds) that happened however long ago.

Post # 6
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@meliss: I personally feel as though you showed great class. If a person is terrible enough to do something like that intentionally, they are not worth your energy. You are probably right–she may have caused a scene if you approached her on this. It would not be worth sinking to her level and letting her know she got to you. You handled yourself well. True you do not want to be a doormat, but at the same time, is it worth stirring up anything with her? You are the one who is happily married….her man has not proposed. Maybe there is a reason for this? lol I don’t mean to sound harsh towards her, but obviously she has some issues she needs to work out.

Post # 7
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can see why you’d be upset.. but in all honesty she probably thought it was funny and just did it to be silly, drunken & playful. Perhaps in her group of friends it’s a funny exchange to pat someones bum. Who knows. 

It’s really nothing though that I would let get you this worked up. She just wanted attention and to let it get to you gives her that. 

Post # 8
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t know what I would even say in a situation like that!! “Back the f$#@ off”? Eh, probably not. I agree with Corykru. Better that you handled it as you did. I think you would regret saying something if she ending up making a huge deal about it. In the end, you reacted with class to some trashy chick. You win!

Post # 9
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am absolutely, positively with Corykru. You didn’t sink to her level. What she did was completely uncalled for, but how you handled it was fantastic.

Post # 10
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I don’t think there’s anything you can do about this specific situation but I think you can use this as a learning experience for the future.

Hopefully it never happens again, but if it does, you’ll already have thought of what to do/ say. You could say something as simple as “That’s not appropriate.” It doesn’t make you look insecure– it makes you look like you’re putting an offending woman in her place. It also wouldn’t specifically cause a huge scene and you can feel good about standing up for your husband.

Just a thought.

Post # 11
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It’s a lost cause at this point.  Nothing really worth worrying about now.  He’s not going home with her, didn’t enjoy her touching him…just time to move on.

Think of it this way…your husband is hot enough that other women want to touch him.  It happens..sometimes on purpose sometimes not.  

Post # 12
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s not like he wanted her to do that.  Not at all.

I would just do as you did, and let it slide, but do remember in case you’re ever both in her company somehow again.  Just make a mental note of it, and when the friend of yours returns from her honeymoon, I’d let her know in a friendly way what her moh did. 

Wow..that is really poor behavior even if she did mean for it to have been the groom.  Imho, uncalled for in any situation.

Post # 14
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Since your Husband was mortified, Ide say just let it go and laugh at it. Like your Hubby must have a sexy bum, but its all yours. 😉

Then just dont talk to the biatch ever!

Post # 15
525 posts
Busy bee

I have to say, that although I’m very sorry it’s affecting you this way, I really don’t think she would have meant much by it and it was probably just a silly drunken thing… maybe someone even dared her to do it? Yes it is childish, and I completely understand that everyone is different, but I think that she probaly didn’t mean anything by it and would be mortified if she knew it had been taking as anything more than a joke. I would just laugh it off as a funny story if I were you.

Post # 16
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Definately think you did the right thing. 

A few weeks ago we were on a trip with my husbands family and I accidently rubbed my BIL bum.  Him and his bro do look somewhat alike but it was more that my husband was standing next to me while I was talking to someone on the other side of me, so I was turned.  Well my husband goes off and my BIL is now standing next to me.  After I’m done talking I’m looking out at the sunset and put my arm around my husband, but really my BIL, and my hand is more on the lower back and I think I even gave a little *Pat pat* on his bum when I put my hand there.  When I finally fully looked up to see if he was enjoying the sunset (it was probably only like 5 seconds) I’m like whoa you’re not my husband.  Then I’m like why didn’t you say anything!  Soo, I was quite embarrassed but it would have made everything 10x worse if people had started a fight over whether it was intentional or not. 

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