(Closed) My husband has a crush on his young classmate and I'm embarrassed for him…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

readytoleave:  …I would be repulsed that my husband, the father of my children, is trying to persue a young lady so aggressively. I mean, texts to see if she wants to go to a movie or have a meal together? What the hell? Where does he see that going?

I think he’s scum for trying this, and even though you’re not pissed, I’m pissed off enough for you. If I found my fiance texting other, younger women like this, I’d leave! 

Post # 3
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, I would be more pissed about the fact that he was/is trying to persue this woman rather then being embarassed for him.  Like he comments on her outfits and asks her out to lunch/dinner/movies?  That is not okay.

And I am not the jealous type, but this is not about being jealous.  This is about your H acting the way a H should.  And trying to go to dinner or lunch and telling a random classmate that he thinks she looks nice is not how a H should act.

Post # 5
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you’re embarrassed for yourself. That your husband is really sleazy and hitting on a college-aged peer.

Post # 6
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

You are a different level of mature – or maybe it’s just indifference at this point.

Your husband has absolutely no respect for you (not a shred of it)…shucks, I question if he has respect for himself. Personally, I could never live like this – indifferent to my marriage, disrespected, with a husband who has no problems being a blatant philanderer.  I left with 2 kids under 5 so trust me, I know what I am talking about.  If it were me, I would leave and dont look back. I dont even know how to you could lay down with him and have sex after this…uggh

Post # 8
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think the embarrassment might be a distraction from the hurt and anger you’re probably feeling about your husband actively pursuing another woman. You deserve so much better than that. Your boys deserve so much better than that! I am so sorry!

Post # 9
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

readytoleave:  Be embarrassed for him BUT also be upset he is trying to cheat on you… if he hasn’t with someone else already.  Also, he is clearly boarderline stalking this young lady.

I think he wanted you to find these text messages. Your husband is a coward. He has already left your marriage, he just lacks the balls to talk to you about it.

IF you want to attempt to stay with this loser… seek marriage counseling. I personally think trust is a MAJOR part of marriage. If there is no trust there is no marriage.

Your “husband” is not someone to trust.

Post # 10
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

readytoleave:  

Ugh…I feel for you and also give you A LOT of credit on a few different fronts…1. You are mature enough to see the situation for what it is…A LOT of women would be somehow blaming the girl (I have no idea how, but still…) 2. You are calm and not rushing to act

I don’t have any “advise” because quite frankly, I think you are handling it better than MOST women – you are someone I would look to for advise! 

I am curious to read how this plays out…

 

Post # 11
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

He’s TRYING to have an affair with a younger woman. Fortunately this woman has the respect to not pursue a married man who is practically begging her. Embarrassing? Try disgusting. He’s on a fast track to harrassment by repeatedly texting her when she’s made it blatantly obvious she’s not interested.

You do realize if this woman were interested in your husband, your husband would be going on lunch/dinner/movie dates and probably sleeping with her. This isn’t a slight embarrassment. He’s emotionally cheating on you, hoping to physically cheat, with a woman who can’t be bothered with someone so horribly disrespectful. Kudos to her for having some self respect. You should take some pointers from her behavior and respect yourself enough to leave this scum bag.

Post # 12
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

readytoleave:  If you have those feelings then yeah you probably should leave.  Or at least discuss things with a marriage counselor.  I would, however, tell him that you think he should stop messaging this woman because it is obivous she is not interested and if he continues he could find himself in possible legal issues, what with harrassment and such.

Post # 13
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that this definitely warrants a serious talk if not greater measures…. I think that its too bad that you aren’t interested in your Darling Husband anymore though I do understand that after time and kids and life it can make it difficult to see your partner in the same light

Perhaps this would be a good opportunity to see someone and talk about what the next steps are – either together or separate. You both deserve to be with someone that you love and care about and if it isn’t the person that you are currently with that is ok but staying stuck here in this no love marriage doesn’t seem like its working for either of you

Regardless of what happens in your marriage I agree that its sad that Darling Husband is basically harassing this poor girl who is in his classes and you should say something to him about it

Post # 14
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like you just dont love him. Your ambivalence to his emotional cheating, your user name and the tone of your post make that overly apparent. 

I think you need a break and time alone to reevaluate if you’re overwhelmed at home with the kids? Stressed out? Or are really over thid marriage?  Maybe talk to someone? Can the grandparents take the kids for a few days? 

Post # 15
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

FWIW – I wouldn’t ASSUME he is looking to cheat on you…while he is DEFINITELY pursuing an inappropriate relationship, that doesn’t necessarily mean he will cheat…I have been “pursued” by married men like that in the past and while I didn’t go along with it, I often found the reason isn’t to cheat – it is because their life is “unglamorous” at home…the COMPLETELY UNFAIR part – it isn’t YOUR fault the life at home is unglamorous – you are taking care of the responsibilities he is running away from…

You definitely need to address it, just not sure how

The topic ‘My husband has a crush on his young classmate and I'm embarrassed for him…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors