(Closed) My husband has a crush on his young classmate and I'm embarrassed for him…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Hostess
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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readytoleave:  whatever you do, do not be rude to the girl…she seems to respect you and herself and doesn’t know how to handle it. Poor thing…muct be weird for her esp since she met you. 

As for dear old hubby, welp since I assume this is not his first time scoping out younger women, I suppose you should look at the possibility that he may have or plans to do more than look. 

I have a no cheating policy, and i do consider what he’s doing as cheating…so therefore I would divorce and take as many assets from him asap. He doesn’t even seem to care about his kids…which is so sad. 

Welp good news is…you’re young (30 is in fact young my dear) and you have a great number of years to start dating new men if you want. you’re not limited on options either. 

Post # 92
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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readytoleave:  I just read your update. Leaveeeeeee! You don’t sound awful. Use that anger as your strength! 

Post # 93
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee

Fuck that sack of shit.  Respect his privacy? Ha.  And fuck everything I said this morning.  I am no longer giving him the benefit of the doubt.  This fool thinks you’re his friend or his roommate! He’s completely oblivious to the fact that he’s married!

 

Yank that rug right out from under him. 

Post # 94
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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readytoleave:  im a little late on this thread, but I just received some very sound advice from a male colleague who is married for 41 years…. He said, “You know when your marriage is in trouble when you stop fighting and getting angry about things you should get angry about because that means you don’t care any more and that is a Bad sign…” 

You have clearly stopped caring, you should be angry, fighting with him etc. The fact that u don’t care at all speaks volumes. Good luck Bee. You deserve better!

Post # 95
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I JUST READ UR UPDATE….AND IM FUCKING FURIOUS FOR U….

COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT.??? HES A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT AND U NEED TO LEAVE HIM YESTERDAY. 5’5 and 150 lbs is nowhere near fat. I hope his dick falls off.

Post # 96
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Bahamas

Girl, good for you. I love how strong you’re being. I know it hurts and I know you can’t be this strong forever, but since I have no real advice…. I just wanted to say I’m proud of you for handling this the way that you are.  

 

Post # 97
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

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Cheekie0077:  To be real about this it wouldn’t matter if she was fat and 500 lbs, his behaviour would still be sucky and wrong.

Post # 98
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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Olivepepper:  OH YOURE RIGHT, I DONT CARE IF SHE IS 5,000 LBS, HES STILL A CHEATING SCUMBAG LOSER…I didn’t mean it like that at all! I hope it didn’t come out that way! I just wanted to make her understand that she is BY NO MEANS FAT AT ALL…. She said she thinks he’s mad that he has a “fat wife” and I don’t want her to think that…..

Post # 99
Member
7895 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You are doing the right thing by leaving. He is not a good partner at all. I 

Post # 100
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

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Cheekie0077:  All good 🙂 I reckon we are on the same page. He is not worth a backward glance in her rearview mirror, in my opinion.

Post # 101
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

It doesn’t matter if you gained 200lbs, are nagging, have acne, or don’t clean. He took a vow, he made a promise to you, and should have kept it. If he couldn’t, then he can leave. My apologies to you and your family. No one deserves to be cheated on, in any way. 

Post # 102
Member
4912 posts
Honey bee

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readytoleave:  Bee, you sound like a very patient and reasonable person. I am so sorry you are married to this ginormous A-hole. 

Post # 103
Member
1859 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Your husband is a pig. You, on the other hand sound delightful, even with all this shit you are dealing with. 

Take those gorgeous babies and leave, you don’t deserve this shit.

Post # 104
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Stay strong! I’m sorry you’re going through such a shit experience 🙁

Post # 105
Member
47337 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I left a cheating husband. It’s not easy to come to that decision when you have children.

You have received a lot of well meaning advice from many Bees, but I caution you to see a lawyer before you do anything. He may very well advise you not to leave him or your home. He may advise you to change the locks and keep yourself and the children in the family home.

If you do divorce, you will go through some hard times, guaranteed. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If I hadn’t screwed up the courage to leave my husband, and go back to school to upgrade my education, I would never have met my DH- the love of my life. There are better men out there for you too. 

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