(Closed) MIL wants me to follow her traditions. Help?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 4
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

So which flavor of Arabic? Muslim or ? I’m sorry I’m not as up on those customs as I should be anymore.

I would maybe politely suggest to your husband that you would like to have more of your culture represented in the family functions. Do a Hafla maybe? 

Post # 5
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry, is hafla greek opr turkish? 

I forget, I’m trying to remember everything from the middle eastern dance classes I took. Not trying to be culturly insensitive.

Post # 8
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you are in her house or attending a family event of hers, I think you need to make an effort to follow her traditions. Once you guys move out and establish your independence I think your relationship will get better. 

Post # 9
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@Iffyniffyy:  You just need to be honest with her and let her know that you are going to live your life on your own terms and that if it is good enough for your husband it is going to have to be good enough for her.  If she can’t get over it, than your husband needs to lay down the law.

Post # 12
Member
1716 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe a dinner party but how you would do it in your home? Or maybe not. I’m just wondering if she is sticking to these old traditions because she’s feeling clueless?

Post # 14
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I find the total lack of respect for how someone else values their cultural traditions and places importance in them kind of disturbing. Cultural diversity is what makes the world an interesting place.

I guess I need to ask- whose house is this? Did you move into the mothers home and your husband has taken on some of the financial responsibitlities?

If you are living under her roof regardless of if your husband is contributing (which why wouldn’t he if you are living there) then you need to respect her traditions under her roof.

I am not saying that you need to adopt all of her traditions but you do need to be tolerant and accept that somethings are doen a certain way under her roof. If you really cannot live with it then you need to talk to your husband and get your own place.

Post # 16
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Im confused? Is she allowing everyone else in the house to dress, talk, act however they want even if it differs from her beliefs or do they uphold these beoefs as well adn so beahve accordingly?

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