(Closed) My Husband Is 2000 Miles Away, Cheating On Me Right Now.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    You agreed to let him do what he wants, see what happens first. : (12 votes)
    3 %
    Give it a month or two, but if he still wants to sleep around, leave. : (19 votes)
    5 %
    This won't end well for you, the damage is done. : (193 votes)
    51 %
    I'm not sure, I need more information. (Questions in the comments, please!) : (5 votes)
    1 %
    Maybe this could work - I've been in a similar situation. (Your stories, please!) : (7 votes)
    2 %
    You're losing either way - don't stand for it! : (145 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I really, really hope you are a troll.

    *sigh*

    If not, this is NOT ok. I have nothing against couples making MUTUAL decisions to have open marriages if that is what suits them, but it seems to me that you are NOT ok with this. And neither would I be.

    He lost his chance to sow his ‘wild oats’ when he commited to a marriage with you. So what if you had more sex prior to marriage? Does that give him the right to boff every woman in sight until you have been with the same amount of people? Um, no.

    If, on the off chance this is really happening I think you both need therapy. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    uhhhhhhhh. yeah.

    None of this is meant to offend you it is just my honest opinion.

    When your husband chose to ask your hand in marriage, he forgo the right (persay) to have other partners. If he feels like he needs “to get it out of his system” then he was never ready for the commitment of marriage and this should have been communicated then. Im sorry, I just dont see this working out for the better no matter what you have been through and no matter if you think you are ok with it right now. You wont be later and this will change your relationship forever, as you have already expressed your fears and obvious concern about this arrangement.

    I wouldnt be ok with this situation in any way, shape or form. If he wasnt through with living a Bachelor lifestyle, then he shouldnt have married you. Period.

    Tell him no, and go see a counselor. NOW.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Frown

    I feel sad for him. Sex without love is not better- it is meaningless. 

    There may well be shades of grey- but only you get to determine what you can live with. I know I could not deal with what you are going through.. I have had a partner (not a husband) who cheated on me- and for me it was a deal breaker. I moved on, and have found happiness with someone I know loves and honours me.

    I guess all I can say is I am sorry for what you are going through, and ((hugs))

     

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It’s hard to believe you aren’t a troll because I don’t know one person who would do this.

    If he wants to screw around then you two shouldn’t be married. If you want him to screw around then you two should not be married.This is not healthy for a relationship at all.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    As I said, only you can decide what you can deal with.

    However be very, very careful. Saying it is ok once may mean he will expect it to be ok again.

    Will you always think about the infidelity? Is this something that will replay in your mind in intimate moments? Will you feel like you have to check up on him (ie mobile phone, email history etc)?  If you cannot answer no to every one of these questions then you seriously need to think about whether you have a future with this man.

    If you wish one of you could let go- then BE that person. You do not have to put up with this at all.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2576 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I am glad you have a plan B. 

    If you are thinking about seperation as on option then of course legal seperation is worth exploring. All options are worth exploring.

    Please don’t accept that just because others around you don’t have healthy marriages that you don’t deserve one, because you do. You deserve to be healthy, happy loved and cherished. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee

    This is the sort of thing you get out of your system, before marriage. Marriage is about two people, being committed to eachother. Him needing to have sex with a stranger is absurd to me. Can he not have sex with you-his wife? I don’t get it.

    In any case, I think this sort of thing can get out of control. Once he gets it out of his system, will it not be in your mind, forever? That may lead to you wanting to go ahead and do the same to make him understand how it feels….

    This is just wrong on so many levels.. this can’t be good however you choose to look at it.

    The topic ‘My Husband Is 2000 Miles Away, Cheating On Me Right Now.’ is closed to new replies.

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