(Closed) My Husband Is 2000 Miles Away, Cheating On Me Right Now.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    You agreed to let him do what he wants, see what happens first. : (12 votes)
    3 %
    Give it a month or two, but if he still wants to sleep around, leave. : (19 votes)
    5 %
    This won't end well for you, the damage is done. : (193 votes)
    51 %
    I'm not sure, I need more information. (Questions in the comments, please!) : (5 votes)
    1 %
    Maybe this could work - I've been in a similar situation. (Your stories, please!) : (7 votes)
    2 %
    You're losing either way - don't stand for it! : (145 votes)
    38 %
  • Post # 107
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @SomeoneBlue: I think people who managed to get through this are those who have to continual work through it with councelling, trust and honesty. I doubt the ability of your husband to really commit 100% honesty to you, thats what Im worried about. He wasnt really being honest when you got married, or didnt communicate completely what he wanted…he didnt want to be completely committed to you, thats just the reality of the situation. You want commitment on the basis of real honesty, and Im sorry, but there is a strong likelyhood that if you continue to try in this relationship, you cant account for what he will be able to do. He may not even go to councelling, he may lie to you, he may just not want to try anymore. Thats the reality of what you need to grasp- because this cycle of disappointment only continues, even with councelling, if the partners arent honest and totally committed to the process. YOu are committed to really pushing it to make it work…he could see it as a means of continuing his behaviour, even excusing it. He could be dishonest to you and in the councelling process. The couples who work through these types of situations are both on the same page and want to make it work out- thats pretty much your biggest hurdle right there, and the odds, Im afraid are usually slim.

    Post # 108
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @blackbirdps3: Im disappointed that someone who apparently feels the need to espouse gender equality would try to do so in such an uneducated, and disrespectful manner. Most of all, you are insulting a woman here- most of all you are almost creating her to be some sort of jezebel, or “evil woman”- if you had any sense of feminism or gender theory, you would realize just how obtuse you really sound. Im flagging you again, and Im also going to report you to a mod the first chance I get.

    Post # 109
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @blackbirdps3: WOW .. that is all.  If I was a dumb, needy chick – I’d love to be your bride. Kiss

    Post # 110
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @Bellanouva: AGREED! Done and done! Wow..  This is the reason I think people should have to take a test to procreate.  I hope to God he doesnt have any daughters!!

    Post # 111
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @blackbirdps3:  Dude, you were flagged for the suicide comment and for your general douche-baggery.  Your rant doesn’t even make grammatical sense.

    Post # 112
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Reported to Mod. I would really like to have those posts removed, both for the benefit of the OP, as well as the fact that I personally find them very insulting, as well as derogetory.

    Post # 113
    Member
    2088 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @blackbirdps3: Two things:

    1) There are actually a ton of guys on here. Don’t think you’re all awesome for coming on a website with a mainly-women population just because you’re a boy.

    2) Go away. Everyone’s made it clear your opinions are not wanted, so just leave. You’ve been flagged for being insensitve and offensive.

    Post # 115
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Where are the weddingbee mods on this guy??  His comments were flagged hours ago i’m sure but this is really dangerous leaving them up and allowing him to comment further.

    There are hundreds of stories in the news nowadays about online bullying and people actually following through on such suggestions.  

    To the OP, I believe you have received enough advice regarding your predicament.  As for the comments made by blackbird, please know that he is alone in thinking all of this.  You deserve better than what you are being handed, don’t let anyone bring you down like this.  

    Post # 116
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I completely agree with @KateByDesign: . Hopefully once he gets in touch with you, you can give us an update, but ignore the negative posters. I really, really hope the comments are deleted ASAP.

    Post # 117
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @KateByDesign: sorry for the delay – believe it or not we have lives outside our computers, haha.

    Post # 118
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @ddw:  Haha, how dare you 😛

    Post # 119
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @ddw:  I understand.  Sorry if it seemed bossy but when someone is telling someone to kill themselves, i get seriously worried.

    Post # 120
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @KateByDesign: you and me both. Im glad it was taken care of…

    Post # 121
    Member
    657 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @ Supposedly the “only guy on this website”..which btw is not even true. Every single thing you said is completely irrelevant to the OP’s current situation. If you were actually trying to “help” society by telling someone that they are the scum of the earth..you may need to go look in a mirror. NOTHING good/progressive will ever come from anything you said. I honestly can’t even believe you wasted your time writing out someone that sounded so stupid.

    @ SomeoneBlue: I read through this entire thread, so I don’t really believe there is much more advice to be given. With that being said…We’ve all had issues in relationships, we’ve all let situations in our lives get out of hand, we’ve all felt strong/helpless/happy/sad..we’re all human. We make mistakes. The good news is, we have the capacity to learn from our actions and change things to the way we want them to be!

    Ask yourself..What to YOU want (and need) out of life/your relationship(s)? If you think that it’s possible for this relationship to move forward after all of this (because you are the only one who truly knows the answer to that)..then you’ll choose to try and fix the relationship. If you decide that it’s not going to work, then that’s just the way it will have to be. I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but if you choose to get a divorce..life will go on! Just please don’t feel like you’ve admitted defeat if you choose that route. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for people to split up..it’s just one of those things that happens. 🙁

    And as always, we are all here for you when you need support! ((Hugs))

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