- 2 years ago
- Wedding: April 2017
my husband and I have been together for 4 years, married for 1.5. In the time that I’ve known him he has been incredibly sweet and kind. We met in a community service group led by a dear friend of ours. He has always been so selfless and caring, the perfect man.
When we began dating he told me that as a teenager he used to get really angry. His mom and dad usually dealt with their angry pretty poorly, usually blowing up on each other or their kids. His family life growing up wasn’t very calm by any means, and I saw first hand just how explosive his dad could be when we began dating. He erupted over something quite tiny, hitting furniture and calling my husband names. I mean it was INSANE! No father should treat their child this way… It made sense that my husband would also get pretty angry growing up as this was pretty much how his parent taught him to act. Luckily though he realized at some point that he didn’t want to be this angry, and he stopped! I mean he did a 180 and as he grew into a man he was incredibly calm and generally well tempered about everything!
right before we got married, he started a new job. He works for the same company that my dad works for and we all trusted this company. However at this particular branch, the management is very disorganized and nothing seems to work in my husbands favor. For two years, literally everything that could have gone right, has gone wrong. My husband was promoted to a lead position, but not offered the same pay as the other leads. This is a 100% commission job so this was a pretty big deal. On top of that he has been the most reliable and steady worker at this job so he deserves better pay.. because he is so willing to go above and beyond everyone has taken advantage of that. He can’t take vacation without getting a lot of crap and he’s only allowed 5 paid vacation days a year (never any more than that). We have a new baby so this has been quite the struggle for him as he feels like he hasn’t been able to take any time off to be with us at all. On top of all this, he has two days off every week. Thursday and Sunday. And he is forced to work on his days off! His boss threatens to write him up otherwise…
he literally never gets a chance to wind down and relax. He gets calls from work constantly and at just outrageous. We have been looking for a new job for him, but no luck so far. He is a pessimist by nature.. so whenever it rains, it pours. Since starting this job he has regressed slowly back to his old ways. He can’t deal with his anger.. like at all! I have been as supportive and as helpful as I can be for him, and almost always he apologizes for losing his wits a few hours later. He never hurts me or our baby, however he punched and kicks furniture, a few days ago he broke his laptop. He growls.. he is unreasonable and I cannot seem to ever connect with him. I have no idea how to help him at all when he gets like this, which is like every other day at this point. We have had many long talks about what he’s going through, and when I think we’ve made progress it’s all gone the next day when work calls. I just can’t stant to see him this way! I’m terrified that he is going to turn into his father, and I have no way of stopping it. I don’t want our son to grow up watching his father lose his temper over every little thing.. I just don’t know what to do!
if any of you have been in this situation, what helped?! I am not leaving him (not an option). I will walk through life with him no matter what and do what ever I can to help him fight his demons. I just need direction..