(Closed) My husband is an ass

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

@sweetbee29:  Yeah, if this is not normal behavior, I would see what was going with him.

Post # 18
Member
9576 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@sweetbee29:  Not gonna lie he sounds like a real mean snarly asshole. You had a medical procedure??? Youve been sick?? And he wants chores and is yelling at you? He should be doing all he can for you- did he marry a partner or a maid? He can clean the damn house after you had a procedure and/or are sick.

Is this what hes like? Blowing up over little stuff? Little compassion or sympathy? Strict on cleanliness/roles/rules? That could get bad.

 

 

 

Post # 19
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

He was out of line for sure… But I can admit that sometimes if I’m super exhausted and Fiance is snoring, I get unreasonably mad bc it’s just sheer frustration and exhaustion.  HOwever, if he was awake and just playing on his ipad, AND you’re super sick, he’s just being a dick

Post # 20
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sweetbee29:  Wow, he sounds like a selfish dick. I hope you feel better soon!  Maybe you should sleep in another room until you’re better to keep the peace.

 

As for the our house is messy you go clean it. What does he do to clean up? Does he do his fair share? If not, I’d have a serious problem with that! Neither DH nor I would make the other clean while we were sick. If it’s that big of a problem, he can clean it or he can hire someone to do it. 

 

Good luck!

 

Post # 21
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He’s being a jerk and he needs to snap out of it.

I’ve been sick this week too and I have no doubt been super annoying. I spend most nights coughing and blowing my nose. I keep asking my husband if he wants me to sleep on the couch and he says it’s fine and it doesn’t bother him. I know it does – how could it not? listening to someone coughing all night is so annoying!! – but he’s trying to be nice.

Last night, though, it finally got to him and I was sort of relieved that he finally admitted it. I was coughing for like 2 hours straight and it kept waking him up. In his half-asleep frustration, he snapped “are you going to stop coughing?!?” and then rolled over and fell asleep.

I forgot that he did that until this morning when he woke up and said “I’m sorry for snapping at you last night.” He reminded me of what he said and then we laughed about it. He knows it’s not my fault, but I know it’s still annoying. if it were me I would have snapped way sooner.

but there is a huge difference between my husband’s snapping and your husband’s snapping. He’s being a jerk. I do wonder if this is something he does often or if there’s something else going on. He needs to chill.

Post # 22
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yeah, he’s being a jerk, but did you really have to throw a water bottle on the floor? I mean… I’m assuming you’ve been in an out of bed to get the water bottle, and if that’s the case, throw out some of your stuff while you’re at it.

I think it’s also important to remember that it can be really hard to sleep with someone who snores, and if it’s a new thing (possibly because of your nose procedure) he could also be losing sleep about it.

Of course, despite all of that, his comments are still unnecessary and totally jerkish!

Post # 23
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017 - Baton Rouge, LA

View original reply
@MrsPhilly:  +1 -if i’m exhausted, and I think it’s FI’s fault, or hell even the cat, I get so mean lol it makes me crazy.

OP- sounds like he needs some sleep, and you need some better meds!! 10 days is a LONGGG time to be sick like that!

Post # 24
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ll admit it, there are times when DH is snoring and I can’t fall asleep (usually after my thousandth pee trip), so I’ll wake him up to ask him to turn on his side. I usually rub his back or forehead or something though, I never shove at him! It’s not his fault the air is dry and his nose is stuffed!

The way he talks to you and reacts is ridiculous. I can’t imagine putting up with it. He has some SERIOUS work to do. I hope you put your foot down and let it be known that you will absolutely not tolerate being treated like an inconvenience. Because that’s exactly how he is treating you. Not like a life partner or even a decent human being. 

And by the way, I hope you feel better soon! 🙁 Maybe getting a humidifier would help some? 

 

Post # 25
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Whoa. What a jerk! I would NOT accept that kind if behavior. At. All. 

Post # 26
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

View original reply
@abbie017:  this

View original reply
@sweetbee29:  I can’t believe this is just an isolated iincident.  Is there always an issue of messiness in your house?? (ie throwing bottle on floor just the icing on the cake.)   Did you marry an “a$$ hole” or is this new? Did he want to get married?  What I’m saying is that there appears to be much more to this.

Post # 27
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@Bexx:  I died–I love it!

To the OP, first and foremost, I’m so sorry you are sick like this. It’s pretty miserable and you’re dealing with being in pain, generally feeling terrible, plus not being able to sleep. Then when you do sleep, you’re woken up by your husband. How can he not expect you to snore when your sinuses are all wonky? I second PPs that it sounds like there is something else going on. That is no excuse for his behavior, however. The birthday comment was extremely immature and selfish. So is his behavior. My husband snores like…I can’t even describe it. It’s a sore point between us. But I also know he can’t help it. So I have earplugs and when it gets too bad for even that, I move to the couch or spare room. If he is sick, I would never, ever think to wake him up for him to stop snoring. Especially if I was already awake and on the computer! Is this normal for him to be such a dick like that? Or is this out of character? I hope you start to feel better and that you uys work out whatever bug crawled up his ass! 

 

Post # 28
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sweetbee29:  Do you have kids?  He is going to have to mellow out a lot before you do. 

Post # 29
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@HannahGrace:  This guy would be a nightmare to have a kid with! I can’t even imagine!

Post # 30
Member
2910 posts
Sugar bee

@sweetbee29:  Insisting that you clean while you’re sick is awful. Why couldn’t he clean up? Plus anything you touched while cleaning might end up with your germs on it, which sort of cancels out the “clean” aspect. I’m so sorry he’s being an ass. I hope there’s some explanation.

Post # 31
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

If this isn’t normal behavior for him I would definitely ask him what’s up! I tend to find that if I’m sick for a long period of time my SO gets kind of fed up with the attention being on me and not on him, but he doesn’t act so extreme. He is used to me doing most of the work since I work fewer hours, and he notices when I can’t do it for any period of time. He is also usually the center of my attention (see: big baby!), so when I expect him to take care of me or do anything for a while he gets a little grumpy.

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