(Closed) My husband is an ass

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

Did he ask you to get up and clean the house because YOU left it a complete disaster after being home all day? My boyfriend and I are both clean freaks and if I left the kitchen a disaster I think he would be almost justified to ask me to get up and clean up MY mess. That would never happen because it doesn’t matter how sick I am, if I was well enough to get up and make the mess, I would be able to clean up. Only hearing one side of the story I can’t say for sure.

If I take it at face value that she’s sick in bed barely functioning and he expects her to still get up to do laundry and mop, well, I would never have married a guy that treated me like that. I am so sorry you ‘re being treated like that and I hope you feel better soon.

Post # 48
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Unacceptable!

If he wanted the house picked up he could do it himself.

If he’s having trouble sleeping then he can sleep elsewhere or learn to sleep with snoring going on (if he’s tired enough, he’ll sleep).  

I clean a lot and I don’t mind doing most of the cleaning, but my husband knows that he has no right to EXPECT me to do any particular cleaning and if I choose not to do it then he will need to do it if he wants it done.

You’re right – your husband sure sounds like an ass.

I’d be pretty pissed.  Is he often like this?  If it was just a one time thing I’d have a discussion about it when you feel better.  Give him the message that his behavior was unacceptable.  If it is a pattern I’d think about counseling at the very least. 

 

Post # 49
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

What a douche. I feel bad for you. He sounds mean. 

Post # 50
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Sounds like he’s stressed. I’ll admit, at times Fiance snores and I try to ‘deal with it’ and ignore it but if it’s constant and loud and stopping you sleeping sometimes you can get a little crazy. I’ve pushed him awake and growled at him before because after a long time of not being able to sleep you sometimes just lose it!

Having said that, he shouldn’t have spoken down to you. I’d address it when he’s calm and happy, and just tell him that while you understand he was frustrated you felt hurt by how he spoke to you. By all right he should listen.

Post # 52
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@sweetbee29:  So, why was he frustrated when you were sick? Because it was his birthday? Because you couldn’t clean up the house? Because he doesn’t have any worries or concerns about your well being? 

Post # 54
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Glad he apologized. If he had bitched at me to clean when I was sick he’d have a hell of a lot worse things to worry about than my snoring…

Post # 55
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

I just don’t understand why so many people on the bee marry people like this. It’s just not worth it. And these behaviors usually start before marriage. This guy is being the opposite of what a good husband is. At the time he should be doting on you/ babying you the most. It’s really just sad. This isn’t a small thing, it’s a major issue (unless he was going through something and this isn’t his normal behavior, but even still).

Post # 56
Member
3075 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

I hope this isn’t the usual & he was just having a HORRIBLE week. Hope you feel better as well!

Post # 57
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

That’s the sort of shit that would get my Fiance kicked out if the bedroom, maybe even the house, for a night or two. 

I was sick on my FIs 21st birthday, which fell on a Saturday. i couldn’t move out if the bed let alone do anything for him. He was amazing and looked after me. He even went and got his gifts and bought them to the bed so I could watch him open them. I felt awful. 

Post # 60
Member
656 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@sweetbee29:  He’s tired of YOU being sick!?? SRSLY. What a douchebag with no empathy. I have no words for this. 

Post # 61
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

View original reply
@sweetbee29:  Dude! I am so sorry you’re being treated this way. He should be waiting on you hand and foot, not griping at you to clean and put furniture together. Gosh, I don’t have any real advice, just befuddled at his behaviour. I snore, and when I am sick, I SNORE…same with my husband. It means neither of us sleep all that well, and we may be a little cranky the next day, but we’d never get angry for something we can’t help. Also, sickness= immunity from chores. If he is pissy about a mess and he is in good health, he can deal. You should be resting and getting better! 

He needs to put some earplugs in and deal! How did he react to you moving into the guest room?

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