Post # 47
Did he ask you to get up and clean the house because YOU left it a complete disaster after being home all day? My boyfriend and I are both clean freaks and if I left the kitchen a disaster I think he would be almost justified to ask me to get up and clean up MY mess. That would never happen because it doesn’t matter how sick I am, if I was well enough to get up and make the mess, I would be able to clean up. Only hearing one side of the story I can’t say for sure.
If I take it at face value that she’s sick in bed barely functioning and he expects her to still get up to do laundry and mop, well, I would never have married a guy that treated me like that. I am so sorry you ‘re being treated like that and I hope you feel better soon.
Post # 48
If he wanted the house picked up he could do it himself.
If he’s having trouble sleeping then he can sleep elsewhere or learn to sleep with snoring going on (if he’s tired enough, he’ll sleep).
I clean a lot and I don’t mind doing most of the cleaning, but my husband knows that he has no right to EXPECT me to do any particular cleaning and if I choose not to do it then he will need to do it if he wants it done.
You’re right – your husband sure sounds like an ass.
I’d be pretty pissed. Is he often like this? If it was just a one time thing I’d have a discussion about it when you feel better. Give him the message that his behavior was unacceptable. If it is a pattern I’d think about counseling at the very least.
Post # 49
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
What a douche. I feel bad for you. He sounds mean.
Post # 50
Sounds like he’s stressed. I’ll admit, at times Fiance snores and I try to ‘deal with it’ and ignore it but if it’s constant and loud and stopping you sleeping sometimes you can get a little crazy. I’ve pushed him awake and growled at him before because after a long time of not being able to sleep you sometimes just lose it!
Having said that, he shouldn’t have spoken down to you. I’d address it when he’s calm and happy, and just tell him that while you understand he was frustrated you felt hurt by how he spoke to you. By all right he should listen.
Post # 51
Wow, thanks for all the responses guys. You bees are awesome!! We don’t have kids. we have been together about 8 years. He used to have a quick tempur, but that has gotten better. i have grocery store bags wherever I am stationed so I don’t throw tissues everywhere. Ihe snorers occasionally, when he isn’t sick, and I haven’t been waking him up, though he says I can, so i may. He doesn’t have a lot of compassion, and never really has When I’ve been sick. I asked him what else was going on, and he said that he has been frustrated since ive been sick, and it has beebulbils ing up. He eventually apologized. Thanks for all the support.
@bexx lmao. Ill have to use that one.
Post # 52
So, why was he frustrated when you were sick? Because it was his birthday? Because you couldn’t clean up the house? Because he doesn’t have any worries or concerns about your well being?
Post # 54
Glad he apologized. If he had bitched at me to clean when I was sick he’d have a hell of a lot worse things to worry about than my snoring…
Post # 55
I just don’t understand why so many people on the bee marry people like this. It’s just not worth it. And these behaviors usually start before marriage. This guy is being the opposite of what a good husband is. At the time he should be doting on you/ babying you the most. It’s really just sad. This isn’t a small thing, it’s a major issue (unless he was going through something and this isn’t his normal behavior, but even still).
Post # 56
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
I hope this isn’t the usual & he was just having a HORRIBLE week. Hope you feel better as well!
Post # 57
That’s the sort of shit that would get my Fiance kicked out if the bedroom, maybe even the house, for a night or two.
I was sick on my FIs 21st birthday, which fell on a Saturday. i couldn’t move out if the bed let alone do anything for him. He was amazing and looked after me. He even went and got his gifts and bought them to the bed so I could watch him open them. I felt awful.
Post # 58
So today he insisted that we pick up our new furniture that we have been waiting 6 months for. I told him I would rather wait until next week when jam hopefully feeling better. He says I won’t have to do anything. we go to the uhaul place to pick up the uhaul, but they were out to lunch at our scheduled time, so we had to wait about 40 mins for them to come back, then we drove to the furniture store and the guys load it in. We drove hone, but our friend wasn’t here yet who was supposed to help us. Sky husband is like “help me move this. It’s not heavy”. Granted it wasn’t heavy, but super bulky. His friend gets here, and they unload the 7 pieces (5sectional, 2 entertainment center), but its all packaged super well. So he wants me to unwrap all the pieces, while they got the next piece. Our friend had to leave to run an erranbut so we returned the uhaul, and picked up dinner (of my choice), and came home. I told him I was going to take a nap when we got home, so I get all tucked in. he is then hollering for me to come help him. He wants me to shine a flashlight down in between the sectional so he can snap it together. I was then On my way Back to bed when his friend callEd and was on his way, but he is bringing his wife and baby ( love both of them). So I stay up, because I know she is coming to visit me. They stayed 2 hours. We then had to clean p pall the boxes/wrap, so I was cutting up these massive boxes while he was making trips out to garage. So then we get in bed, watch tv, then I fell asleep. He was still awake, and woke me up by gently nudging me (improvemt in way of getting me to stop) to stop snoring. Are you fucking kidding me? After we spent an hour talking about this? I got all my shit, and moved to the guest room, where I am writing this. I’m going to schedule a counseling appointment for myself, because with our pre-maritial counseling it wasn’t “helpful” for him.
Post # 59
@arsing & Brooke1226 – you’re a lucky ladies. So sweet!!
@kellyk – this started out as bad allergies and progressed to a sinus infection, but I don’t have a pcp right now, so I scheduled with ENT as soon as they could take me. I also got laryngitis from the sinus drainage. The ent aso cauterized 2 blood vessels on the inside of my nose because it was bleeding ALL the time, and OUCH. It still hurts. Idk why he wanted to do it while I was sick, but I just finished day 2 of antibiotics, along with supportive therapy (since the beginning). I’ve acutually had my tonsils and adenoids removed about 12 years ago. He did recommend a septoplasty, since I have a pretty severe deviated septum. he said any tiny inflammation will obstruct the sinus drainage, so ill continue to have sinus infections.
@lionsheart – yes, it was just some minor things like mail, work bags, a few pairs of shoes around the house, make up on the counter, laundry ( both of ours, but I refused to do his bc I was mad). In my book, it was not a disaster.
@moo – he said he was frustrated my my snoring. He said he was also tireroof me being sick. Apparently it’s inconveniencing him.
Post # 60
He’s tired of YOU being sick!?? SRSLY. What a douchebag with no empathy. I have no words for this.
Post # 61
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Dude! I am so sorry you’re being treated this way. He should be waiting on you hand and foot, not griping at you to clean and put furniture together. Gosh, I don’t have any real advice, just befuddled at his behaviour. I snore, and when I am sick, I SNORE…same with my husband. It means neither of us sleep all that well, and we may be a little cranky the next day, but we’d never get angry for something we can’t help. Also, sickness= immunity from chores. If he is pissy about a mess and he is in good health, he can deal. You should be resting and getting better!
He needs to put some earplugs in and deal! How did he react to you moving into the guest room?
Post # 62
And just on a positive note, here is my furniture