- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I would get annoyed if this happened to me. If I’m sick for 10 days I really lose it so it would have been nice of him to bear with you till you got through the sickness. Maybe he was a having a hard day or something? Is that how he reacts when your not sick? if I were him and it was him being sick on my birthday i would have been upset but most certainly i wouldnt take it out on him. Maybe he was just feeling stressed or something i dont know. Well my advice is when you’re feeling better talk to him about it and make him understand that he needs to work on his communication at the times you’re sick because you’re a human and if youre sick for that long you will be extra sensitive and not at your best 🙂
*HUGS* hope you get well soon bee :))
he sounds like an asshole.
If Fiance ever treated my like that, it would only be once becuase he would be in such deep shit and would have to deal with me throwing all my good comunication skills out the window while screaming at him to stop being such a dick! Seriously I don’t think I would ever tolerate anyone treating my like that and if you are going to wake me up it better be for a damn a good reason. And this is all coming from someone who sleeps with a snorer! It sucks, sometimes I really want to punch him the face, he is so loud. But you know what I do? I roll my ass over and put a pillow over my head. If it gets really bad I genlty nudge him to change posistions because that usually helps for long enough for me to fall asleep. If he wakes up during the nudge, I apologize for waking the poor tired guy up. I do not get mad at him for something he can’t control, that is stupid and counter productive. Your husband is a giant ass and needs to learn how to treat you well, wether you are sick or not.
@sweetbee29: Sorry but no way in hell could I be married to someone like that. I obviously don’t know him but it sounds like he may be verbally abusive. My husband bends over backwards for me just for having bad cramps. And I take care of him when he’s sick (run him hot baths, make herbal tea, etc) When you aren’t feeling well, that’s when you should be treated like a princess!!
I mean, are you happy living like this?!
Just for reference:
My husband was in and out of hospital 5 times in 2013, before our wedding. When he was home, after the surgeries, he spent a lot of time resting, of course.
I was exhausted and stressed, but I didn’t ask him to get up and do housework. I cooked and cleaned and looked after him and took months off work.
Your husband should be taking care of you and not making you feel bad and not being so selfish. You were sick on his birthday, it’s hardly your fault. It’s just sad to hear how mean he was to you.
@sweetbee29: Wow, that’s super harsh of him… you’re sick and that’s how he treats you?? My Fiance was sick on NYE so we had to stay home but I’d never yell at him about it – it’s not like he got sick on purpose. Also you waited 6 months for the furniture – what would one more week be?? He seems overly aggressive like he has no compassion for you or something. I’d lose my shit if my Fiance invited his friends plus a baby over when I was sick – babies aren’t supposed to be around sick people anyway! I don’t know how you put up with it.
If you snore all the time, I would see where he’s coming from. My husband snores every single night and it ruins my sleep, and I get pretty fed up with it. I sometimes snap at him about it because I’m frustrated and sleep-deprived. I shouldn’t take it out on him because it’s not his fault, though.
Sounds like your husband was being a serious douche-canoe about everything, though.
For all those saying it must be something else or snoring can do that or the worrying, here’s my story:
My exH was in a MAJOR motorcycle accident and injured so severely he was out of work for FOUR YEARS with multiple operations. Through it all, I looked after him, helped him take baths, drove him to physio….and still worked to pay bills.
Years later I almost bled to death after our third child. I was anemic, exhausted and had three children under 6 as well as a farm to run. He took paternity leave supposedly to ‘help’ me. Two weeks later when I was still barely able to get around, he said he couldn’t take it anymore and went on a 5 day fishing trip! He left my with 3 children, a barnful of horses and NO CAR!
Two years later I suffered a spontaneous hole in my lung. The doctors told me I wasn’t to be doing ANYTHING but be on bed rest. Again he cut his annual weeklong fishing trip down to 4 days ‘for me’…oh and screamed at me everyday about how I DELIBERATELY got sick to ruin his fun!!!
All throughout our marriage he did other small things like what OP described…sleep deprivation can leave you blaming yourself after a while for his anger.
In contrast, my DH is amazing. He was off work Thursday and Friday due to a slipped disc in his back, is still in pain yet he took my daughter to her lesson yesterday because I was sick, had barely slept in two days and had to work last night!!!
There is no comparison!
@sweetbee29: Your husband needs to cut you some slack and then pick some up himself. As for gently nudging you awake for snoring, I see nothing wrong with it. My Fiance snores every night and he tells me to feel free to wake him up if he does (but I don’t do it all the time because I feel bad). It’s really annoying sleeping with a snorer.
1. What happens in your house, stays in YOUR house. When you involve friends and family and even messages boards like this, people will automatically get angry at your spouse if you are angry. The problem is, you forgive them, but your freinds and family don’t.
2. If you have an issue with your spouse, talk to them, not to anyone else, pleople will you you advice based upon THEIR experience.
Actually I feel bad for the poster because at the end of the day, she obviously loves her husband she made a post in a moment of frustration… and now everyone is bad mouthing the poor guy without having all of the details.
@sweetbee29: Hell fuckin no.
Sounds like he was whiny that he had to take care of you for a change and you weren’t there to clean up for him?
Dude, why? Sickness and health. What happens when you get really sick or have a kid? No. Just no. That can’t happen. Don’t let him treat you like that anymore. Don’t lift a FINGER for him until he starts showing you some damn respect.
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