(Closed) My husband is giving me crazy mixed baby signals. So confused!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Those mixed signals would drive me crazy. I’m older than you so that made our conversation a bit easier I think. I laid out all the reasons why I wanted to try right away and had him do the same for his side. We then looked at everything and he agreed it was best to start sooner rather than later. But maybe once you two look at your list you can find a compromise?

The big thing that pushed my Fiance to my side was medical reasons since I’m already in my 30’s.

But I’d tell him how him talking about both sides like that is confusing and frustrating for you.

Post # 5
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Mrs. Gremmlin: Im so sorry about the baby confusion! And they say women are confusing right?!

I’ve had similiar experiences with my Darling Husband (love finally being able to write that!) we’ve been actually “Not Trying but Not Protecting” since 2007. We both agreed we didn’t want to rush or force marriage because of both our family pasts, but we did want to start trying for a baby since I was diagnosed with PCOS. (Blah Blah long story lol) We’ll during that time he’s gone back and forth and its definitely been challenging to just deal wtih his emotional rollercoaster through “NTNP” journey let alone my own darn emotions of “why hasn’t this happened just on accident yet!” and all those negative doubts we ladies get. We were supposed to just be having fun. Well THANKFULLY this journey brought us a lot closer in every way possible; and he popped the question! We’ve been together now 8 years; only weeks into marriage and still “Not trying but Not protecting”. And guess who is ooh’ing and ahh’ing at babies at the mall or picking up little “Chicago Bulls Booties” ??? Gosh darn it make up your mind!!! UGH! And I’m the one that promised not push the “trying” since there are possibly big changes with his job and a possible move! (GOOD THINGS FOR US)

Just know you arent alone! I have to remind myself to see it as my Darling Husband only wants the best for us, and while we ladies are thinking with our hearts and how we can be our own “Wonder Woman”, men are using their heads. Even when they pop our dreamy bubbles; they are only trying to be realistic.

Still no baby for us yet, but I’ve been told a baby is a big change for most men, harder on them then for us women. Though not an easy adjustment for either husband or wife, its a new title, role, job and we have to admit its a scary but exciting new adventure. Just have faith in one another and you can do anything! (CHEEZY!)

Dam it there I went rambling again; sorry! But best of luck and I hope you two can come to an agreement or timeline!  

Post # 6
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh. I feel this way sometimes. We too have had the ‘if an oops happend we would keep it/be able to support it’. But…he has his own time line for when we will be done having kids…when he’s 35 he says he wants us to be finished. I’m 25 and he’s 28. We will be married in 6 months and I think I’m at that point where in the next year or two I could see myself seriously wanting to be a mom. He told me that we can start when I am ready, just so I know by the time he’s 35 that he we are ‘done’. Then…the other night we were talking about families and he said, “I’m not ready for that for a long time!” WTF.

Honestly, I dont think men always understand that this is something we, as women, don’t want mixed signals about…but I think it is something that scares them more than it scares us.

Try telling him ‘I don’t want to fight about this, but…’ and let him know how you feel and how confused you are. You have to communicate about it, as much as it sucks. I think we all wish men could just read our minds and agree with how we feel about weddings and babies! You’ve gotta agree on something. I’ll probably be in the same boat in about a year!

Post # 8
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Mrs. Gremmlin: I like the idea of making a list of things to accomplish before becoming parents. I know that we have things such as house projects that we want to be totally done with!

Post # 10
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I am confused for you!!!!!! Maybe he is just as confused as you which is why he’s confusing you, like he wants them but he’s scared too.

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