- Mrs. Gremmlin
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
While hubs and I have been married for a month, we’ve been together for six years. I’m 25, he’s 27. We had the baby talk prior to marriage, and we always seemed to be on the same page– sometime before I’m 30 and earlier if we’re settled enough.
Well, he seems to have baby fever lately. He’s always talking about the things he’ll teach our child and how he’ll play with him/her. So cute, right? I’ve called him out on it, and he says, “well, not yet.”
A few months ago, we had the talk and decided that if “oops” happened, we were finally in a place where we’d be thrilled and know we could support our family. i was over the moon!
Last night, however, we got into an argument about a timeline. I told him I’d really like to start trying in the next 2-3 years. We don’t know how long it’ll take,so I don’t want to wait until 30 just because I’m 30. He then said that waiting until I’m 32 is his perferred timeline, and he’s “not going to have a baby before he’s ready.” Which I understand, but we had previously we had determined we were pretty ready. He got so defensive and combative. I was really confused.
He’s also totally open to adoption and constantly offers it as an alternative. While I am also open to it, I don’t want to be forced to adopt because of my age. Adoption is not easy, and my husband doesn’t understand that.
So, then tonight we go out to dinner to celebrate his raise. It’s pretty substantial, and he’s finally making more than me. We start talking about his health insurance coverage, and he’s shocked when I told him I would keep mine. Mine is employer-paid, so why on earth would I switch? His response, “But I thought you wanted to jump to my plan before you’re pregnant?”
I. am. so. confused.
What the hell is he thinking?!?!
In fact, I missed two pills this month. I told him (I’m always very direct about that), and he was okay with it. I told him “oops” was unlikely but possible. He said that’s was okay, and well, you know what happened next.
This is uncharted territory for me. I don’t really know how to talk to him about it, and I’m not even sure what responses I’m hoping for.
Sorry this is so long. I’m just baffled, but I don’t want to fight about this– and I don’t know how to approach the subject.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? How did you and your husband get on the same baby-making page? And what the heck am I supposed to do with these mixed signals??