(Closed) My husband is not my soul mate

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I may be completely unromantic, but I don’t really believe in one person for everyone either.  I think we’re well suited for eachother on a lot of levels, but I think with so many people in the world, there’s probably multiple combinations that would have worked for me. 

A video you might find funny.

Post # 4
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Thanks for sharing.



I am a romantic girl, I love things other would consider to be very cheesy. But I don’t believe in soul mates. I think love is out of our hands, but choosing to be with someone is a choice

Post # 5
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’m not going to comment on all the Jesus stuff in the article, but I like the author’s attitude, and I agree there are no soul mates.

I’m pretty certain I could leave my Fiance tomorrow and find an equal or even better man out there for me within the next 10 years. I actually do joke with my Fiance that we really could find good people on our own continents to date and marry, but meh, we’ll stick with what we have!

I couldn’t help falling in love with my Fiance, but eventually I had to make the choice to stay commited to him. At some point I had to weigh whether it was worth it to break up and seek someone who could make me laugh as much as he could, or else stick with what I have and not go through the heartache in order to find another.

Ultimately I decided my Fiance was pretty damn great and I didn’t want to bother looking for anything better because I am thrilled with that I have now. But there are certainly other men out there I would be wonderfully compatible with. I’m just not willing to give up what I have to find them.

Post # 6
9085 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am pretty open minded about it. I happen to believe I’ve found my soul mate, because I would not be a whole person without my husband. I didn’t really live before we were in a relationship. He sparked something raw and wild inside me and really made me see the world and life for what it really is. He awoke a dormant part of me, and I am a fuller, better person for it. I don’t think I’d see the world the same and endure with a hole within me if I ever lost him. However, I believe it is completely about personalities and who people are — Soul mates just aren’t for some people. To each their own.

Post # 7
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

The whole concept of ‘soul mate’ has always made me want to puke.

There’s no such thing.  There’s over 6 billion people on the planet…are you telling me out of that, there’s only ONE person who is ideally suited to me?  Grow up and get real…

Post # 8
9659 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I personally think there is such thing as ‘The One’ and soul mates, and I believe that person is Fiance. But everyone has different views

I don’t agree with the Jesus stuff in the article. I do believe God had Fiance in mind for me, but I didn’t sit around waiting for Fiance to appear.

Post # 9
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

Thank you for sharing this!

I really really hate the term ‘soul mate’. I see it thrown around so often in the celebrity magazines around here, usually by women who have just divorced their previous ‘soul mate’ and are now engaged to their actual brand spanking new (and obviously real, the other guy was just a decoy) soul mate two weeks after meeting them.

I know this sort of thing happens to some people, and it works for some people, but seeing it constantly trumpted in neon captions on glossy paper next to people like Katie Price has made me very cynical, and I feel that some people seem to use the term ‘soul mate’  to excuse poorly thought out actions.

Also, I just feel it’s a very wishy-washy term. What does it even mean? And I hate the way it implies a devaluation of all but one relationship in a person’s life. What if you’ve been widowed and remarry? Was your first husband your Soul Mate and thus your new husband is just filling space? Or is your new husband your Soul Mate and your late husband was just a placeholder?

I also feel that societally it has been taken to imply a person with whom love and relationships come easily, and I think it’s probably responsible for a lot of relationships not working – “It wasn’t easy, so therefore he obviously wasn’t my soul mate.” “He didn’t pick up his socks, so he wasn’t my soul mate.” “He farted in bed so he wasn’t my soul mate.” There seems to me to be attached to the term soul mate the image of a perfect, flawless person, which seems pretty boring to me as well. The Romance Novel perfect man doesn’t sound like much fun to me.


These are of course just my blustery, curmudgeonly personal opinions. Thankyou for considering my submission for the next series of Grumpy Old Women.

Post # 11
4656 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m with most of you, there’s no soulmates, just choice-mates. You make someone special by choosing them to be, and you can choose more than one person in your lifetime to be that choice-mate. 

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