My husband is shoving religion down my throat. HELP.

posted 3 years ago in Christian
Post # 2
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

This is a tough situation. Does he have a pastor or priest that you can talk to? Maybe they could tell him to knock it off or it will ruin your marriage. 

Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I wouldn’t be able to tolerate that kind of behavior so kudos to you for handling it well. Do you go to church with him on sundays? Does he have a pastor or someone that could speak with him? I would suggest counselling but I’m sure he would want to do it through an officiant and then you would have two men telling you that you are a sinner… good luck bee. 

Post # 4
Member
5048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I agree, this is a tough situation.  It makes complete sense that he is 100% immersing himself in region.  He has addictive tendencies so he is an all or nothing kind of person.  It’s probably what he needs in order to keep from substance abuse.  But what he should be aware of is how damaging his behavior is to the marriage.

Couples therapy?

Post # 7
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I would suggest spiritual counselling through the church. I think that he needs to find balance in his life with his walk with God and how he handles and deals with other people. If he were to try to reach other people through christianity and his walk he wouldn’t be effective because of his approach so this can have an impact on others as well. I think that he has to understand that we are all different and each person’s relationship with God is different. You can’t know someone else because they may not do it the way you want it done. It’s all about how God wants us to handle situations.  He’s judging and its not okay to judge.  I agree with the others he needs to speak to a pastor or spiritual advisor

Post # 8
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

He needs counseling now. He has addictive tendencies and he’s traded one addiction for another. His behavior sounds manic and bordering abusive. I would be at the point of ultimatum. Either counseling or divorce/separation.

Post # 9
Member
4830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Maegan Marie :  Sometimes a person who has one addiction *will* trade it for another addiction.  I think you are on to something there.  

I’d suggest marital counseling – it is not healthy for him to use religion to put you in the wrong.  

He may think he doesn’t need help, but your marriage does need help, and I hope he can see that.

Wishing you the best.  

Post # 11
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

This is a hard one.  It seems your husband has choosen to take the extrem route with religion.  One one has asked here yet.  So, I will pose the question…

1. Do you know what type of religion your husbands app is based on?

2. Is it possible to get him to focus on a less fanatical religion?

3.  Can you get him interested or focused on going to a physicial less fanatical church instead of using the app?

 

If he was more pron to wish to help out in  a physical church and talk to real people face to face I personally would not care how much time he dedicated to the church.

Otherwise…  I would seek out a counselor to speak to and possibly someone who has experience dealing with addictions.

Post # 12
Member
2059 posts
Buzzing bee

Maegan Marie :   smalltownbigworld :  I have known many GREAT counselors (in the church) as well as out of the church who were wonderful, and not in the least bit judgmental or telling someone who sought help that they were “sinners”. I think that’s a little unfair and OP, I’d highly suggest finding a good counselor to help you and your husband navigate here. As many have pointed out, it seems like his highly addictive personality has manifested itself this time in the form of religion. Next time it could be working out, or eating, or spending money, etc.

The thing about people with addictive personalities is, it takes an INCREDIBLE amount of self awareness to admit that they have it. With professional help, you two could try and identify when the cycle starts and stops, and he can learn techniques to curb the impulsive behavior.

Post # 13
Member
4036 posts
Honey bee

I had an ex-cousin, who did the same thing. Went from an addiction to alcohol (and many say drugs), to being addicted to Christianity, to the extreme.

With his former life, he would have ended up killing himself; with his constantly pushing religion down our throats, we all wanted to strangle him.

If he refuses counseling, please go  by yourself, and I hope it helps you to deal with him and the situation. Good luck and hugs!

Post # 14
Member
4232 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

Speaking as someone who was raised Christian and then kind of left the faith, that sounds a little scary! I echo the sentiment of PP in advising some sort of counseling. I’d also advise getting a little tactical. What app does he have? Could you download it too? By seeing and understanding what he is reading, it will likely help you understand his actions and maybe even anticipate them?

Post # 15
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee

Totally agree that some kind of counseling is needed. Maybe you could suggest that since he’s suddenly so religious, going to church would be good? What if you reserached churches in your area and picked one on the more moderate side with a pastor you like, and asked him to go with you? If you can get him into a space like that, where he can go to bible study and talk to a pastor, they would be able to show him what he’s doing wrong? If he was around a religious community of imperfect individuals, perhaps he’d see that there is not one unilateral way to follow any religion. Or would it help to remind him that Christianity is supposed to be about love and kindness, and he vowed to love and cherish you, and his behavior right now is anything but Christian? Unfortuntely, addictive personalities are really prone to extremism. 

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