Post # 16
He is a human who is fallible, and his unwillingness to speak to a pastor or listen humbly at a church means he is worshipping his own version/interpretation of the bible, not the meaning of the word of God. Maybe a more devout bee can dredge up the verses that talk about the sin of arrogance, but he needs to get a spiritual mentor who is less about sin and more about love.
Post # 17
MxChinca : It’s this app here: https://www.bible.com/app
Which I believe is just a standard bible app, as it has more than one version included.
I’m hesitant to have him go to a church, as it’s just not something I’ve ever done. I had my communion and whatnot but I wasn’t raised to attend services. I was given the freedom to read and learn at my leisure.
Post # 18
Maegan Marie : whaaaattt? No…. Like other bees have said his behavior is bordering on abuse. Firstly I don’t believe anyone goes to hell for a divorce or is forced to be with their first partner in the afterlife. Then what would happen to people who are widowed and remarried? Also, no Chrisitians I know believe you will go to hell for divorcing and abusive spouse. And every Christian I know believes all sins can be forgiven even divorce. So please do not stay in a bad marriage and waste the one life you know you have because you are scared of what could happen IF there even is anything after death.
Post # 19
I would find a church to start attending and see a pastor for guidance here. My guess is your husband won’t listen to a secular counselor so that will just be a waste of time and money.
I don’t really understand your hesitation toward church, you can still read and learn at your own leisure but it can provide your husband with some much needed perspective. You don’t even have to go every single Sunday or on Sundays at all as you can probably find a bible study group.
Personally, this would be a deal breaker to me. Using religion to berate and judge others is an absolutely appalling trait to me.
Post # 20
hikingbride : I suppose it’s not so much hesitation as it is being nervous and not knowing what to expect. But that’s a hurdle I can get over myself.
He’s never been physically abusive. He’s a good guy, it’s just when he gets in these ‘I’m holier than you’ rants that he judges and berates for not agreeing with him.
Post # 21
He doesn’t even go to church? That alone makes me want to disregard any of his preaching. No, going to church is not everything, but it helps keep you accountable with your fellow Christians. A man who is screaming at his wife and her grandmother because they are not “holy enough” is not any man of God, he is a man behaving like a toddler who doesn’t know how to control his emotions. He is also judging you, which the Bible flat-out condemns.
Jesus said: “Thou shalt love the Lord they God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matt.22:37-40.
Shut him down with this next time he tries to preach at you, I seriously doubt he would like it if you and your grandma ganged up on him over all his faults.
Post # 22
Maegan Marie : Berating someone = verbal abuse which is still abuse. Most abuse doesn’t start out physically it starts with wanting to control their partner and tear them down.
Post # 23
Maegan Marie : This kind of behavior is actually really common in those with addiction. In my small town there is a large group of men who all went away to a Christian rehab center. Every one of them basically traded their drug addiction or a Jesus addiction. It’s very very extream. I know several guys personally that went to this center, and all have come back very radical Christians. I’m talking every facebook post is something religious about how everyone who is not like them is going to Hell.
I’ve got no advice, because it’s hard unless you’re the one in the situation. For me personally, that is not a relationship that I could continue to be in. I think it’s 10x less credible that he doesn’t even attend church.
Post # 24
Maegan Marie : WHAT? This would not fly for me. You don’t get to be an alcoholic for 6 years, nearly die from heroin and then suddenly find god and then try to make me feel like a sinner!? No, just no. This is abuse. You hit the nail on the head, he has traded one addiction for the other.
Post # 25
I’m glad that I’m just not thinking irrationally and all of you seem to agree in a way.
Thank you all so much for the advise.
Post # 26
As Christians we are called to be a witness for Christ..a WITNESS. Not a judge or a jury or even an attorney… but a witness.(Acts 22:15) Many new Christians take hold of their new cleaner lives and start to (wrongfully) condemn others and this does exactly opposite of what God wants. It turns people away from God. (Matt. 7:3-5) Because of his addictive personality, he needs an intimate relationship with the Lord… well honesly – don’t we all! But in his case, he needs it specifically not to fall back into the trappings of his former life.
As he matures in his Christianity, he will stop doing this, but until then he really needs a mature Christian mentor and counselor just to help him grow both in his faith and in his marriage. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)
God Bless You both!
Post # 27
He’s an addict, now he’s addicted to his idea of the Bible, which oddly included telling everyone else what failures they are. This is bordering on, if not already, emotional abuse.
I suggest you go to al-anon, not church. You need to learn how to respect your own boundaries and put taking care of yourself as a priority.
I totally agree with @MsBeer, this would not fly with me. At all.
Post # 28
I think since he is still a babe in Christ, he is taking it all in and seeing things from a different perspective, he just doesn’t know how to balance it yet. I was similar to him when I first came to know god. I saw sins everywhere. My struggle was learning to balance God, his word and how I talk to others. He may think he’s doing right, by telling you of your “sins”. But that isn’t our jobs as Christians. I think he needs a pastor or counselor to tell him that.
Post # 29
This is how ‘radicalization’ works. It happens in lots of religions (not just islam). TBH I’d get him help ASAP. I dont know if spiritual counselling is the way to go, because they might encourage it to some extent. Perhaps look up radicalization and do some research on it.
Post # 30
Maegan Marie : Ironic he’s so into Jesus but not at all acting like Jesus would be to the people around him.