(Closed) My husband just quit his job… without telling me!

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
11614 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Did you ask him why he did this? It seems like he must have been miserable. Not an excuse AT ALL for not discussing it and planning it with you. It seems very irresponsible and I would be really pissed off if he did that without even a word to me.

Post # 3
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

whatjusthappened:  I’m so sorry!!!! All I can say is I hope it works out. And I can’t believe how selfish your husband is! $90k is substantial to lose in a job. It must have been a reason he would have quit. Has he done something like this before?

Post # 4
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can’t believe that he thinks that is an ok thing to do in a partnership like marriage! Whatever happened to making decisions as a couple? I’m not sying he might not have quit his job anyhow, but this should have been discussed between the two of you.

Post # 6
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

whatjusthappened:  He was bored and needed a change??!? I mean my job has great benefits not the best pay to which I will find a job with better pay I have a great boss and coworkers that’s the problem on why it’s hard to leave but I would never take a paycut or not discuss with my husband first. Especially since I make more. 

Post # 7
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

whatjusthappened:  Did something happen on the job where he got in trouble and just need to leave before they fired him? I hate to say this, but I’ve heard of stories of people that were caught stealing or had a sexual harrassment complaint (or were having an affair) and they just had to leave ASAP. 

Post # 8
11614 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

whatjusthappened:  this is totally unfair to dump on you and expect you to solve without his help even. I would have a real problem with his failure to treat this like a team partnership. I think he owes you a sit down and an apology at the very least.

Post # 10
1084 posts
Bumble bee

whatjusthappened:  I don’t think what your husband did is wrong: we don’t know the entire story to know that.

but I do think the way he did it was very wrong.

he must have been very miserable for him to just quit and accept a lower paying job…,I’ve been on that situation before…

i think the situation is very unfortunate, espically since you wanted to be a stay at home mom..,.but  being a stay at home mom is a privilege and not s right, and I don’t think it’s fair for your husband to have to maintain a miserable job, to provide a privledge…I think it’s actually selfish to think that. His jon as the working family member is to pay the bills–not the bills for your expected life style: which is why a lot of woman decide to continue to work even after children.   However, I do think your husband should have discussed this with you prior….he could have handled this way better. It’s  a marriage, a partnership, and thus, decisions should be decided together and if a joint decision can’t be made: a compromise (he gets a job he likes more but pays less but you get a part time job) or whatever solution it would be…good luck 

Post # 11
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

KoiKove:  That’s what I was thinking.

OP, I am so sorry your husband did this. That is just insane. I hope you find out what really happened! Good luck with everything.

Post # 12
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Try and calm down.  I realize you’re upset but I’d give him some space for today.  I think there is way more to the story than he’s telling you.  Is it possible he got fired? Got into an argument with his boss/co-worker?  I agree if he should have spoken to you about it first.

Don’t think to far ahead, like what’s going to happen in a year.  For now, take it day by day, minute by minute.  Even in a couple days things can change.  The worst case senerio is you have to live a more frugal lifestyle and you have to go back to work.  I’m not trying to sound rude here but there are many families that live on much less than $90k all year.

Post # 13
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

whatjusthappened:  think he was fired and doesn’t want to tell you what he did. It must be something horrendus maybe illegal because it is clearly preferable to him to tell you he walked off with no notice, tell you to go back to work and for him to take a $90,000 paycut. 

Strap on your seatbelt and get ready for a rocky ride. You think it’s possible he stole soemthing, you may want to transfer some of that saved money into your own name if he’s done something illegal, your house and shared accounts may be at risk.

Good luck, keep us posted.

Post # 14
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

SoonMrsCrocker2:  you could very well be right. He could have also been suddenly laid off, but he had an inkling prior so he looked for a new job just in case. This could be the best option he had to stay afloat but didn’t want to worry you until it was official

Post # 15
4238 posts
Honey bee


Hang in there.

And keep in mind, that many people view their individual employment as individual and not subject to discussion from their partner. He could think this, too, and that would contribute to his standoffishness.


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