- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian
I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and support on this. I can’t wrap my head around the idea that he did something at work, but its so abrupt, I don’t know what else to think now! I mean I was angry and upset when he just quit but now I’m scared. This is just so out of character.
And I never expected him to support me to stay home. I never did! We had decided it together. We had made the choice for me to stay home because we thought thats what was best for our baby. I told him so many times that I would go back if he wanted me to, but he got a raise and said he was good and that this was better. He seemed so happy and content. I thought we were…
OMG. I can’t turn my brain off. Now I can’t help thinking about if he did do something illegal. What will happen to us?
I feel sick.
DH lost his job last summer and it was rough! We have two kids and I have been a stay at mom for the last 6 years because that is what was best for our boys. It was no fault of DH’s, without warning the company he worked for just closed it’s doors. He was there for 16 years and we had no compensation from them. Luckily we had managed to put something into savings and that he found something in September.
I wish you the best of luck!
I don’t have anything to add other then hugs. I think sitting here and stressing you out more isn’t helping so I won’t play what ifs. Do you know where he went to right now? Maybe you should call his parents or close friend and see if they Know. He owes you an apology and to talk to you. I also think major counseling will be needed.
Tinatiny raises a good point: Don’t think the worse. Don’t buy trouble. Benefit of the doubt.
People quit jobs unexpectedly when something reaches a breaking point at when they think that if they don’t leave then they could break (and that wouldn’t look pretty.) I know I’ve been in that boat before.
He says he was BORED? That’s a very immature reason to quit a grown up job. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. I think you definitely need tipo sit down & have a discussion about this. It may be best to have it over dinner out than at home in case things get heated.
Is marriage counseling a possibility?
I think your husband may have too much pressure on the old job. Just my guessing. Usually man do not talk about their weaks with their lady. He made his decision already and decision let you fear.
Yes, the way he did was wrong. But for your two sake, put your emotion down at first and then talk with him, asking the reasons and whether he has following plan.
Hang in there. Thinking of the baby and those may helps.
You didn’t just meet this guy on a dating site last week, he is your DH so I wouldnt jump to not trusting him on that type of thing just because you feel betrayed by his puzzling decision.
Maybe he has a plan to get a higher paying job again in a few months?
This might be awful to say, but I almost hope he did do something illegal and was fired. At least that would excuse him leaving. But for the two of you to agree about you staying home with the baby and for him to tell you he was good with it after his raise and then do this… it’s inexcusable, IMO. Like you said, OP, how is your family supposed to afford health insurance? For him to suddenly quit is beyond irresponsible; adults don’t leave their job unless they have something equivalent already set up. I don’t care how much someone hates their job, but your don’t tell your spouse to quit their job to stay home with a new baby and then pull this kind of thing.
Additionally, if he had been caught in illegal activities, very, very few places would simply allow him to quit and walk away. They would almost certainly take legal action.
To me this would also be totally unacceptable. I’m not saying he isn’t allowed to quit his job, but you should’ve been part of the conversation especially if he’d been thinking on it for months. I guess it’s possible he got fired but if that’s the case it seems odd that he already has another job lined up.
I am sure that you wouldn’t have wanted him to stay at his job if something horrible was going on or if he was just miserable and he shouldve trusted you enough to discuss it like an adult instead of making a rash decision.
Oh my god I would be FURIOUS!!!! Your husband is ABSOLUTELY being selfish. Quitting your job is not a crime, and that’s not the issue. First of all he didn’t tell you at all. He got a new job, again without telling you, that is a HUGE pay cut, and then he has the nerve to tell you that you’ll need to go back to work even though you had both decided that you would stay at home! I am in absolute shock and I am so sorry you’re going through this!
I’m sorry, Bee. 🙁
I’m going to play devil’s advocate a little bit here. He may have told you he was bored, but is it possible that his job was soul-sucking and wearing on him physically or mentally? Could it have been a choice between a nervous breakdown and a sabbatical from the more profitable industry?
My strategy right now would be to re-do the budget. It might be time to put the house on the market and move to a lower COL area where he can do his “hobby” job. Stop eating out. Spend on only the essentials. Gear up for a bumpy ride. It might not be comfortable, but you may be surprised how much less you can live with especially if it means a happy husband.
It all sounds like a huge surprise to you. In retrospect, was there any hint that DH was unhappy with his job or that something was brewing with job security? Has he been unhappy in general? I would also be frustrated with him making such a rash decision without even discussing it with you.
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