My Fiance is working two dead, minimum wage jobs to help pay for our wedding…He doesn’t love his jobs but he does it because he knows what is on the line. I always tell him, “Keep with it, if not for me then keep doing this for yourself. You have amazing potential to do any type of job and be great at what you do.” I know he is working two jobs for me, for us, for our future….
If he ever quit both of his jobs then I would be expecting him to already have something else lined up. You’re right in this economy one does not simply quit a job without anything else as a back-up plan. That is a foolish mistake that could cost you a good, safe future. He should have sucked it up, that is hard for even myself to say I am not saying this lightly. My mother and my Fiance have both worked jobs they hated and everyday I noticed a piece of them dissolve into the abyss, so I have seen it first hand what a terrible soul-sucking job can do to someone and I do not wish that upon your husband and I do not wish you to see your man dissolve into a soulless shell of a human being.
What he did was still careless and selfish. I can whole heartedly respect that he was dying inside at this job. Jobs are stressful, very stressful and they eat up hours, days, weeks, months and years of your life so when you are stuck in a job you truly hate it can become unbearable. I am not blaming your husband for this, what I am nagging about is he potentially threw away your safety nets, he broke trust here. He threw away a wonderful paying, awesome benefit filled (along with soul-crushing, mind raping hell) job with no other job(s) lined up. He gave up that is what he did and that is what would disappoint me the most, his failure to secure something else.
- Did he even think of you?
- Your futures?
- The apartment?
- The bills?
What exactly helped him decide this was the best course of action? Because he was unhappy? Is that all? Whether he likes it or not he must be conscience of more then just his feelings, he needed to have considered yours that is a role of a husband…it is a role both partners must play, he is the “bread winner” (choose any word you like) of your family since you have medical problems and cannot work full-time. I get this! I really do I have medical problems that prevent me from working at all, I feel inadequete and I hate that my Fiance has to work as much as he does, but we’ve both talked about it and this is something we are both living with…I don’t want my Fiance to work at a place he hates but at the same time you don’t get the pick of the litter anymore in this day-and-age.
The bright side…..
It seems like he realizes his mistake….Which is the bright side. He is now going to work around the clock to find another job to make you happy. I think this is how you can forgive him. Admit it to yourself….If he quit his job, watched you cry and with a coldness to his words told you to “suck it up/get over it.” You two would need some serious counseling, am I right? That isn’t what happened, he made a mistake, a stupid, foolish mistake but it was a mistake none the less, if the shoe was on the other foot I am sure you would be working as hard as he is/is-going-to-be to make things right and you would be desperately fighting for his forgiveness. That must mean something to you? No, this is not easy, it is going to take some time, you’re going to need to get out of the shock you’re in, you’re going to need to mull things over for yourself, then you’ll reach your acceptance and at that time you can go to him and try and work out this mess together.
The future will hold…..
You two coming closer over this; by accepting what has happened, working together to solve it, understanding each other’s sides of the story, and working to make sure this never happens again. You know your husband better then anyone on this forum, after what has happened….do you honestly believe in your heart he would do this again? (You do not have to answer this now)
Believe in him even though it is hard now, believe that you two will get through this and be better, stronger for it. Have faith.