(Closed) My husband just threw our futures away, how do I forgive him?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I only read the first page and am kind of blown away by some of the responses.

 

Is it irresponsbile for the op’s husband to walk away from a high paying job without having another one lined up, absolutlely! umm except most everyone seems to miss the part where she said he rather kill himself then work there.My Fi does very well for himself, and if he ever came home and seriously told me that he rather die then go back to work. The least of my concerns would be about how the rent is going to get paid.

Yes we live in the real world where we have bills to pay and responsibilities but they will always come after the well being of my partner. I think in this case calling creditiors being upfront and honest, filing for uneployment, making plans to move in with family or friends if it has to come to that, and finding jobs to tide you over until he finds another position are all things that could have been done.

In addition to I don’t know perhaps inquiring and wondering your husbands state of mind, and how he got so low that he rather kill himself then go back to work. Rather then claiming that he was responsbile for both of your futures. Being a breadwinner in any relationship can be taxing and a hard thing to shoulder, he needs support and love and understanding in this time, and a partner who going to be there emotionally to help him. It doesn’t mean that he gets a free pass and that he gets to do that freqently, I just think a little compassion for his feelings and state of mind would be more helpful right now.

Post # 124
Member
2253 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Annabelle86:  OP, just wanted to add that I hope everything works out for you and your husband!

Post # 125
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

It sounds like this wasn’t a case of merely disliking a job, but that he was so miserable it was actually making him depressed. I understand being mad, but do you really want him being that unhappy?

Post # 126
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

He should have talked this over with you, you have every right to be furious, – but – it sounds like he was under tremendous pressure and couldn’t cope. This is the first time he has done this, it isn’t yet an established pattern, I think he actually needs your support. 

Too often we hear of male suicides where they have felt unable to face their families with the news of redundancy, debt or business problems. I know of two in my circle, not just what I read in the papers. You promised for richer for poorer, I’d try to work through this. 

Hopefully not, but you may face similar crises in the future: work pressures, PND, bereavement could lead to erratic or “selfish” action on your part, I’m sure you hope he would try to work through it with you. 

You must be feeling crushed though 💐

Post # 127
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ah! Missed the last few posts! embarassed

Post # 128
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Drizzle :  4 year old thread….

Post # 129
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Kaymar :  I realised too late…see my post above!

Post # 129
Member
38 posts
Newbee

I am totally broke and I would rather he be happy. People saying he is irresponsible. What is irresponsible?  Hating a job so much you would kill yourself. Bee wouldn’t have anything then. He said he will try really hard.

I couldn’t imagine saying to my bf “you want to kill yourself, but its OK go to the place that makes you feel like it for 8 hrs.” You will bring the bill money in if your dead.

Honestly, are some bees only worried about money?

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