My husband left me suddenly without a conversation. What do I do?

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
10284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

afternoontea :  

Bee, it is so concerning that we see so many women on this board who find partners that they think they will fix or cure.

Your post was rife with reminders of how horribly his parents treat him and the scapegoat thing. That excuses nothing.

Your role, as you saw it was to be there for him and protect him. Presumably, you thought you could protect your husband from his parents.

Bee, dear one, how in gawd’s name could you have done that? These people are extremely enmeshed in a very toxic stew that passes for a family, 

There was never the slightest chance you could help your husband deal with his parents or heal from the tremendous damage they have done.

This marriage was doomed from the start.

You, Bee, are the outsider.  

The only thing that could possibly help your husband would be therapy.  Years of it with someone who specializes in trauma recovery. And, it’s something he would have to seek on his own initiative.

Sweetheart, when you got involved with this guy, you walked straight into a buzzsaw.

I am happy that you are receiving support from a counselor. Does your counselor have expertise in treating PTSD?  You have some degree of it, no question.

I am truly sorry for all you have suffered through. And I don’t enjoy telling you that there is no possibility that this can be fixed.

Post # 17
Member
10284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

bellabelle12 :  

The bringing the police floor show is not at all unusual for narcissists.  They tend to be very invested in Image Management and will often try to get in front of a messy situation in which they could come out looking less than stellar.

They flip the script and claim Full Vicim Status.

Fortunately, a lot of cops know this.

Post # 18
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

sassy411 :  Yes, I agree, it speaks for itself that he has done that. I think this should be enough for OP to know that he couldn’t be farer away from seeing the reality and it has danger written all over it.

Post # 19
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

I stopped reading when I saw that you worked fullntime while he was getting his degree. I’m sorry bee but it sounds like he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to leave. Considering all his family crap you probably dodged a bullet. I know it’s difficult, but take care of yourself and let him go. 

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