Post # 17
Inconsiderate and worthy of being miffed at him for a bit. However, stop your brain from taking it further “this isn’t normal and it means something bigger.” Sometimes, people have to blow off some steam and bond with their friends. It’s only happened once, and the real issue is that you didn’t know and were worried.. That’s all.
Post # 18
Thanks for all of your input.
I am trying to stay rational, but I am so annoyed that the dogs are usually let out between 8 and 10 in the morning and they had to wait until 4:30 when I got home from work. They are crated and they are my babies. It just seems irrational and abusive to me. DH loves the dogs, so I’m sure that wasn’t his intent, but I guess that doesn’t really matter in my mind right now.
I also have to admit that I don’t adore the fact that our little family (myself and the dogs) were so easily put on the back burner. We had plans and I am a plans person. On top of that, he let me know he was alive and drunk hours ago, but I’ve heard nothing since. I have no clue when or if he plans to come home and a solid heads up would have been nice on that front.
Post # 19
@Miss Country Chick: Is this the first and only time this has happened? I’d be furious, but people make mistakes. So then I would say “FI, this behavior is disrespectful and rude. You said you would be home around noon. When I arrived home at 430, you were not home and had not called. Our pets were alone for an unacceptable amount of time. You did not come home until X time. I expect this to never happen again.”
And then if he is going out, you set a “be home by” time and he sticks to it. I have had to have this convo with husband SEVERAL times and it drives me insane. Partially it’s that I’m a stickler for time – if he says 7, I expect 7. Not 730. Not 8. 7.
I wouldn’t suddently decide not to have a baby over a one time thing he did. If it’s a continuing pattern, we might reconsider.
When did he finally come home?
Post # 20
I would be absolutely livid – but mainly because of the dogs.
Post # 21
@Miss Country Chick:
I would be SO MAD and you have every right to be. He has responsibilities at home – the dogs – and he should have at least gone to let them out. And the not telling you he was still out? Absolutely unacceptable.
What were your plans? Just dinner or something together or with other people? My Fiance sometimes will say “oh yeah lets go to dinner friday” and then turn around and make plans with his guy friends. Still though – absolutely no excuse. My Fiance would be in the DOG HOUSE.
Post # 22
He’s still not home. So he left for work at 10pm last night and hasn’t been home since. I have to admit that he did this every once in a while before we got married and we would have a talk, get out our feelings out, and I really felt like he was making efforts so I never made it a huge thing. However, he hasn’t done this since the wedding and I guess that with all the pressure he’s putting on me about us having a baby, I’m shocked with the irresponsiblity of it all. Maybe I’m just stressed and making it more than it is. That’s totally possible.
It’s not like this one incident would make me choose not to have a child with him, but I can say that it makes me questions whether or not we are ready RIGHT NOW.
Post # 23
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
@Miss Country Chick: I would not be happy at all!
Post # 24
The plans weren’t anything huge, just a night together. I guess I’m just annoyed by that because we talk about it all week long. We work different hours and so Friday is kind of a huge deal (emotionally). We were planning to spend a romantic night in, to be clear.
Post # 25
I hear you there. Our dogs are small dogs and are crated during the day, so I felt like I could hear the pain in their barks when I got home. Not a good feeling.
Post # 26
@Miss Country Chick:
Have you called him recently to find out where he is?
Post # 28
I would not be happy about this at all. My SO told me one night that he wanted to go out with his friends, but he would probably only be out until 9-10 PM at the latest. I told him that was fine, but I’d like to spend some time together because we’d be working completely opposite shifts for the next three days, and by the time I’d be getting home he would most likely already be in bed those days. He said yes, yes I’ll be home early because I want to spend time with you. 1 AM rolls around, and I finally just went to bed after finding out that he was still alive. He knew I was pissed at him, but came home all in a huff saying that I should let him go out once in a while with his friends. I told him, “okay, I’m going to bed now. I’ll see you tomorrow at midnight when I get home from work.” I don’t think he realized that he wouldn’t see me for that long…He never did that again! LOL
I mean I genuinely don’t care if he wants to go out. I’d prefer that it is planned ahead of time just so I don’t have anything that I need or want him to do, but it’s not a big deal really. He doesn’t go out that often. I just want to know that he’s okay, and I want him to tell me if he’s too drunk to drive. I also don’t see the point of him being out with friends for six hours when him and I don’t even go out for that long together EVER.
Post # 29
Yeah, I would be super pissed, but there isnt much you can do while you wait. Play with your puppies, take a long bath with a glass of wine…until he gets home and then shit could get real.
Post # 30
I am the worst at giving advice but all I can say is I would personally be upset too. My Fiance and I have a policy that we text eachother that we are safe. If this is his first time doing this I would try to not rip his head off althought I know it might feel difficult to do 🙂 I would let him know that what he did was not really cool and that you would want him in the future to xxxxx. Good luck!
Post # 31
@Miss Country Chick: I’d be so disappointed- first, because of the dogs, and second, because he is skipping out on your Friday night together. My dog is my baby, too. Giant hugs!