(Closed) My husband never came home tonight… Am I crazy?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@FutureMrsHarris2014:  Thanks. It really helped venting and getting some other opinions involved. I’m still totally annoyed, but trying to talk myself into not being a total jerk when he gets home, which I hope is soon.

Post # 33
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@Miss Country Chick:  I’m really sorry you’re going through this.  I would feel scared and angry and sick, and I wish i could give you a hot chocolate and a fresh episode of Buffy and tell you to relax, but I know you won’t until he’s home, where you can be pissed off and relieved at the same time.

 

Frankly, I’d rip him a new asshole.  🙂

Post # 34
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

OMG you’re not crazy. I would be so pissed off. I hope you get in touch with him soon! 

 

Post # 35
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Maybe I’m alone on this, but I think you are overreacting. I just don’t see the big deal. I’m sure if you had a baby he wouldn’t be doing something like this, so I think to see he isn’t ready for a baby is unfair.

Also, you said this is unusual behavior for him. Everybody does something a little crazy once in a while. Let him have fun and be supportive.

Post # 36
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@MissCaraMia:  Hot chocolate might night be a bad idea. Maybe I should try that. Know of any that make you less irritable? Perhaps I should try a spiked version. That might be in his best interest. 😉

Post # 37
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@MrsSkeletonKey:  He totally has a right to get crazy sometimes. I get where you are coming from. I just worry about him. And, I’m super annoyed that he would leave our dogs for the entire day without any care. I might be crazy about them, but I just feel like it’s so unfair to leave them when they have no way out.

Post # 38
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@ifoundmyprince:  Honestly, at this point I’d be so happy to hear his voice and know he was okay, I’m not sure I could be immediately mad. We’ll save that conversation for the morning. 🙂

Post # 39
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Miss Country Chick:  aw sweetie 🙁 I read this and bounced it off Fiance. We agreed that it’s “okay” but you have to be in the loop For it to work. “Hey sweetie, not going to be able to let the dogs out, and I’ll probably be crashing elsewhere”

I’d be worried, and it makes me feel guilty for the stupid teenaged antics I pulled.

Post # 40
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Miss Country Chick:  I would be more upset if I were you about him not letting you know. I can see being upset about the dogs too, but we all make mistakes.

If I were you, I would probably be really nice to him when he gets home and after you talk about the fun he had, then bring up your concerns.

Post # 41
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@MrsSkeletonKey:  Yeah, at this point I don’t think talking through issues tonight would be a good idea. He’s been out of work since 7 am and it’s now 9:30 pm. If he comes home tonight (and I hope he does) I’ll plan to talk to him about any serious matters in the morning. It doesn’t seem like talking tonight would do any good at all.

Post # 42
Member
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss Country Chick:  yes it’s annoying but if it’s a one time thig i would let it go. If it’s something that happens on the regular then ok you should be concerned. I think it’s unfair to question his ability to be a father after one time acting out of character. i get where you’re coming from but the fact remains you don’t have kids yet so he doesn’t have to act the same way he would if he did have them.

Post # 43
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@ANGELaaimt:  Communication is key for me. I like to feel in the loop. Unfortunately I don’t have a flexible schedule, so I could not have come home regardless for the dogs (I work an hour away as a teacher). I had hoped that he would come home and take care of the furry guys before any big festivities, even if I wasn’t totally aware of them.

Post # 44
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@MrsWBS:  I was totally unclear about this. I have a stepdaughter who I totally adore. So he does have a child, just not with me yet.

Post # 45
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Miss Country Chick:  Do you have an idea where he might be?  I know this is CRAZY, but you could always show up, all frantic, saying you were so worried that you had to make sure he was okay.  Like do it over the top… I know it’s crazy.  I blame the pattern of the USA’s Olympic Sweaters.

Post # 46
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

So, (1) I would be very pissed, haha. Especially about the dogs, but I would still be pissed in general about the lack of communication. DH and I had some similar issues early in our relationship, and we decided, as a couple, that we would let each other know what we would be doing if not together/at work and when we would be coming home–not that those things can’t change, of course, but we would let each other know if and when the plans do change.

But (2), I am guessing that your husband is probably asleep and that’s why he’s not answering/not coming home. If he was still awake several hours after 4:30 (so, let’s say 7pm), he’d been awake for probably over 24 hours!! That much time awake + drinking probably means that’s he’s in a dead sleep right now. So if he doesn’t answer your call/come home, I would try not to become increasingly worried.

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