(Closed) My husband never came home tonight… Am I crazy?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 48
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yeah.  I guess I’m more of a b*tch than a lot of the PPs, but this would NOT fly with me.  I would be LIVID, about the dogs, (how would HE like to have to ‘hold it’ for twelve hours?!), about the lack of communication and lack of RESPECT he has shown for you, the dogs, and the plans the two of you had made.  He would be in major dog doo-doo when he got home.

Post # 49
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Miss Country Chick:  I would be mad at how irresponsible he behaved. He does have innocent lives depending on him – they are furry but no less important. Plus he was entirely inconsiderate, did something out of character, and didn’t think to contact you? Not acceptable at all. He misses plans with you to drink? Seriously? Get your priorities in order, mister!

Post # 50
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If you ever have to worry about “if he comes home tonight” in your relationship, you have every right to lose your s**t, in my opinion.

Post # 51
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your poor dogs! WTH is wrong with him? Personally, I’d have let the dogs shit and piss all over the floor and have HIM clean it up when his sorry ass gets home. That’ll teach him not to be so selfish and subject them to holding their waste for 12 freaking hours.

And I think a PP who said it’s “unfair” to say he’s not ready for a baby is ridiculous. If your husband can’t handle returning home to let the dogs out BEFORE he goes out and makes a fool of himself, he IS NOT responsible. RESPONSIBLE people do what needs to be done BEFORE they go out and have playtime. This isn’t a “mistake” because I doubt he forgot that you two had dogs that NEEDED to have been let out.

I’d be absolutely furious and wouldn’t care one bit that it was the “first time”. I’m probably a huge bitch but heads would roll when my husband got home should he ever put me in that kind of position. There is NO excuse for not letting you know what his plans were unless someone chopped his hands off and held him at gunpoint.

Post # 52
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This would not be ok to me.  I wouldn’t even be as upset about the dogs anymore at this point, I’d be furious that he hasn’t come home or called. That to me is immature and unacceptable behavior to let you sit and worry when he hasn’t been home since he left for work yesterday.  In the unlikely event that my DH would get so drunk he wouldn’t drive home, he would let me know where he is staying and with whom. You have a right to be upset.

Post # 53
Member
9832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would be furious, especially about the dogs! How IRRESPONSIBLE can he be???!!! But I overreact easily, and I would definitely be questioning his abilities to look after a child at this point..

Post # 54
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@Miss Country Chick:  Personally I think you’re overreacting considering this is just a one-off. It’s easy to miss your phone ringing and lose track of time when you’re drunk, and I’m sure his not answering you/texting you wasn’t anything malicious. He should have let the dogs out though. Perhaps he was in a big hurry?

Post # 55
Member
9832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

What if he is in a big hurry one day when you have a child, and that child needs their diaper changed? Is it ok to just not fulfill the responsibility of being a parent just because he is in a big hurry? Just because they’re dogs not humans doesn’t make them any less part of the family and his responsibility during the day.

Post # 57
Member
3661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

View original reply
@HellaCooper:  you said

If you ever have to worry about “if he comes home tonight” in your relationship, you have every right to lose your s**t, in my opinion.

exactly!

Post # 58
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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@peachacid:  oh god,OP, please don’t show up there. That would be so embarrassing. For the both of you! It’S not like you talked with him on the phone, heard gun shots and then he hung up. He’s Just out drinking. He’s a grown up. I wouldn’t worry too much about him other than the state of hangover he’s going to be in tomorrow 😉

you have every right to be toast about the dogs, but you told him he could go out after work. The assumption tht he would be home by noon was on your part, and if you’re saying you’re usually relaxed about this, he probably didn’t think much about it. 

Perhaps he also wanted to use the opportunity of you not being pregnant yet and have one last crazy night? 

 

Post # 59
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
@HellaCooper:  +1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Post # 60
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MsquareM:  Ha, I did say it was crazy.  

Post # 61
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Miss Country Chick:  Yikes, how rude and inconsiderate of him. You definitely have a right to be upset by all of this. It’s absolutely okay to be upset by the dogs being left for 12 hours; that’s a long time for them to be crated. He should have made sure that responsibility was taken care of before drinking all day. And it’s very inconsiderate to ignore those plans, and not even give you a heads-up about it (I mean, you had to call him it sounds like).

Then to boot, you’re up later than you should be, worrying about him. If I were you, I would let him know that while you’re okay with him going out with his friends, he needs to be considerate of both his responsibilities and you. Meaning, give you a heads-up about your plans and call you every once in awhile to say he’s staying out late, or he’s doing fine.

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