(Closed) My husband never came home tonight… Am I crazy?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I feel like this was a miscommunication. He did talk to you about it and you said he could do whatever he wanted to do. It sounds like you would have preferred being talked to again but by that time I guess he was drunk and not thinking straight about you or the dogs. 

I think he was a bit inconsiderate and I’d definitely have a talk about it. I don’t think I’d be as upset as most of the ladies on this thread though. Next time he could stand to think about checking in with you and taking care of the dogs while you could think about making your expectations of him clearer. 

Post # 63
1369 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would flip my shit. Telling my husband it’s okay for him to go to dinner with a co-worker after work or go out for a drink is not permission to stay out all night and blow off plans he made with me. Yes, he’s an adult, but he’s married and has responsibilities that he’s blowing off at home. Livid is an understatement. And honestly, I wouldn’t care that this was a one time thing – that’s one time too many.

Thankfully my husband respects me and our family of furry kids too much to ever do this.

Post # 64
803 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Country Chick:  I would be livid a) because of the dogs b) because you had plans c) it’s rude to not at least keep your own wife up to date when you’re acting like an ass. I once told my then-bf that I would be home at 2 am, stayed out til 6 am and he had to come pick me up from a random bit of the city, he was SO ANGRY (because he thought I might be dead!) and I totally understood why. I was very contrite (and never did it again!), I hope your husband is too.

Post # 65
33 posts

@Miss Country Chick:  I would be really angry if Fiance did that to me, firstly for the lack of consideration for your dogs and secondly for the lack of consideration of the plans you made and for even basically not having the consideration to let you know when he will be home so you don’t stress about him.  I guess all you can do is wait until he gets home, has a sleep and then talk to him about it when he is in a better frame of mind.  

Good luck, I would hate to be in his shoes in the morning!!!!

Post # 66
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Miss Country Chick:  No, you’re not crazy. 

It’s one thing to cut loose with some buddies but quite another to shirk your responsibilities (poor dogs), blow off set plans with your spouse and not communicate about where you are when you’ve dropped off the face of the earth for several hours. 

Not cool.

Post # 68
3934 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Wow 🙁 so sorry. Very irresponsible on his part. Although, it sounds like he is truly sorry and knows it was a mega stupid decision. I would be a lot more concerned if he said it was no big deal or something. Hopefully the having to work in that state and sleep deprivation will have been painful enough to serve as a reminder to not do that again!

Post # 70
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@Miss Country Chick:  Yikes!  That is one heck of an update!  I am sorry that you are going through this, he is totally in the doghouse now.  For what its worth, based off of the original post, the lack of communciation is what got me the most.  I can excuse bad judgmenet occasionally here and there, because we all make mistakes, but at least let me know what the heck is going on with you and if/why you won’t be home!  The going to work drunk thing is the worst though…jeapordizing his job and safety is NOT excusable.   But at least he is home safe now… 


Post # 71
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

OP, I would be crazy like Peachacid suggested. I would have been hunting around town for him last night. I’m glad he’s okay; that would have been my chief concern.

Don’t feel like you have to let this slide. You absolutely do not.


Post # 72
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@Miss Country Chick:  I dunno… The more details I learn, the more this makes me wary.  Major communication issues, and reviving old, bad habits with a lack of consideration for you.  Doghouse until he fesses up what else is going on with him to make him essentially not care about his family at home.

Post # 73
10985 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d be livid.

What kind of work does he do?  He showed up drunk?

Post # 74
51 posts
Worker bee

This is all so disturbing to me and shows serious red flags about maturity and judgment. It’s also a total disregard for and neglect of the needs of others: you, his dogs, his employer, etc. Did he drive drunk? How did he get to work and home? All this drinking and sleep deprivation is a recipe for disaster and he is extremely lucky to get home safe after such poor decision making.

Post # 75
2296 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

….how did he get to work from his buddy’s house? i HOPE someone dropped him off… driving drunk would be the cherry on top of this total mess of disrespect and bad judgment. and what kind of work does he do that he can go in drunk on the overnight shift?

yikes. i’m glad he’s okay.

Post # 76
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@Miss Country Chick:  omg I can’t believe you never heard from him again! i would have been flipping out! I would be so upset but ultimately I feel like what can you do other then give him the benefit of the doubt that it will never happen again? Unless he has a drinking problem, then it needs to be addressed ASAP.

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