(Closed) My husband only likes what his mom likes… what can I do?

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow that’s crazy that he actually likes her style! I would just come to a compromise with him. Either by piece in each room, or you each get whatever rooms to decorate.

If there is room, maybe you could give him a man cave that he can decorate however he wants?

Post # 4
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

The thing is, neither style is better than the other, they’re just different.  He likes what he likes (which is what he grew up with) and you like what you like. 

The only thing you can really do is compromise and give him his own space to decorate to his heart’s content.  Most people who want recliners want them for comfort, and they ARE really comfortable!  In our house, I’ve got the main floor living room and dining room, and Fi has the entire basement.  Works for us!

Post # 5
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe it is just his style.

I like many things that my mom likes because I grew up around her so those things are familiar and comforting.

Besides, I don’t think most of what you are taking issue with are “old-lady” like.  There are plenty of modern looking recliners, the home decor items you call knick-knacks can be very tastful and fun and show a little personality.  And I’d never call a movie room with the couches/chairs with the cup holders “old-lady”.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Mrs.KMM: that’s true, I guess I think of true “old lady” fashion like Marie in Everybody loves Raymond.

I agree though, done correctly it can look great. I would love a lazboy!

Post # 7
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

@yassim: I know exactly what you’re referring to. My Future In-Laws have their house decorated in just such a fashion. I’m truly not a fan and glad that Fiance and I share similar taste.

I’m not sure what advice to give you other than compromise. Get a recliner, but get a nice modern looking one. Let him have some knicknacks but limit them. Get some mod picture frames and pick out some cool pictures of you two and use them as an excuse for not having as much room for the cheesy knicknacks.

Honestly though, it seems the real issue is not that he likes Hummels and doilies, it’s that he would rather have input from his mother than from you. I think that’s something you should have a discussion about. I know that would make me extremely uncomfortable.

Post # 8
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would be more upset that my husband was going house-shopping with his mother before he went with me.  He’s not married to HER, he’s married to YOU.  He won’t be living with her, he’ll be living with YOU.

The style thing will work itself out as you each pick, choose, and compromise on the items you decorate with.

Post # 9
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Aure: Honestly though, it seems the real issue is not that he likes Hummels and doilies, it’s that he would rather have input from his mother than from you. I think that’s something you should have a discussion about. I know that would make me extremely uncomfortable.

That’s exactly what I was trying to say, you just said it so much better! 

Post # 10
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have no advice for you except that I wanted to scream out of horror. My Fiance and I decorate the exact opposite of our parents because we can’t stand the knick knack, flowerly thick window treatment stuff like our parents.

Do you think he just wants the house to feel like ‘home’ to him and this is what he always considered to be ‘home’?

Post # 11
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Have you talked with him about this?  You didn’t say so in you op.  Is he refusing to honor your requests and tastes after you have informed him of your feelings or is it that he just doesn’t realize all of this?  If it is the latter, TELL HIM!

Post # 12
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

You can put your foot down, for one, and tell him these are decisions you want to make WITH him and not find out after the fact.

You really need to find your voice in this relationship….

Post # 13
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I feel your pain. My hubby always says “But my mom makes it this way and I really like it that way” when I cook something. I told him he can go back living with his momma then 😛 LOL.

Post # 14
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

He wants a la-z-boy recliner, a couch with cup holders,

hahah – im laughing because when we got our couch i imagined a stylish 4 seater with chaise in beautiful italian leather but what we got was custom made high backed fully reclining cinema chairs with cupholders!  (he chose of course)  

how about a compromise – some of what he wants (one recliner with cup holder) but in a stylish fabric and lose the granny florals knick knacks.

Post # 15
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That’s a tough position to be in. I am so happy that I can talk to my husband about anything and tell him exactly how it is. Sometimes it’s hard to come to a complete agreement but as long as you both can compromise on something than that’s important. He needs to be told that his mother’s input is no longer priority one. It’s never going to change, she will always want to put her two cents into everything and that is just normal. BUT, you are his wife and you two should talk thing over before any decision is made. Maybe you can incorporate what you both like into your decor. 

Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

For your anniversary, buy him a pair of surgical scissors. You’re his wife. He needs to cut the cord to his mother, and start making decisions with his wife first and foremost. Also, tell him he is solely responsible for dusting every and any little knick-knack at least every three days, or out they go. Buahahahaha Sorry. Probably not realistic advice. But I still like the surgical scissors hint. 😉

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