My husband puts his mother before me….Need advice.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Get a divorce

Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee

Leave. He won’t change. He has made his decision.

Post # 4
Member
6372 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Leave him

Post # 5
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Get the divorce.  Been in this situation, it doesn’t get better.

Post # 6
Member
5950 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

For some people it is VERY difficult to keep disagreements and arguments inside the marriage – and during the first few years when a couple goes through growing pains of being married – they can be particularly upsetting.

Your husband has every right to vent – to the RIGHT person.  Its not his mother, she obviously cannot remain objective and supportive nor is she discreet.

You’ve pointed this out to him, he’s rebuffed you with a rather juvenile ultimatum – you know better than we would – will this childish routine of running to his mother everytime you and him trade a little paint continue?  Or is he redeemable?

Post # 7
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - The Garrison, NY

Wow. He’s a scumbag. Hire a great lawyer and take him for all he’s worth. 

Post # 8
Member
9786 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Get a divorce. When anyone says “deal with X or do Y” always do Y. He will never change. He will never respect you or your marriage. There’s no point in trying to fight for your marriage because he has already told you he won’t.

Post # 9
Member
8918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

msblue90 :  “He just recently came out and said that he will tell his family including his mother whatever he wants and I’ll either deal with it or get a divorce.” — He has told you in both words and actions that he means this. I vote divorce.

Post # 10
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m a strong believe in marriage and normally I wouldn’t say work through this rather than divorce. But it’s your husband who has offered a divorce – “deal with it or get a divorce” – so I say take him up on his offer. He has no desire to fix this, meaning he has no respect or love for you. Divorce.

Post # 11
Member
4088 posts
Honey bee

What advice are you looking for? It seems as though he’s already given you your options: deal with it or get a divorce. It’s up to you to decide if you can deal with this forever (because he won’t change), or if it’s time to walk away. We can’t asnswer that for you. Good luck with whatever you decide

Post # 12
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

In your shoes I would most definitely NOT deal with it. If he had said, how can WE deal with this, I’d say your marriage was salvageable. But only YOU deal with this means he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. Which means…bye.

Post # 13
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I am sorry you are going through this. I learned when I was younger if I wanted my family and friends to like and respect a SO then I shouldn’t disclose every little thing because they will hold on to that.. Private matters (to a certain degree) should stay between you two and worked out amongst yourselves as husband and wife– that is how you grow. I’m sorry to say, but he seems really immature and still way too attached to his mom..  I doubt he will ever change. I would get the divorce

Post # 14
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You don’t have a mil problem you have a husband problem. Of course she’s not going to like you he paints a very poor picture of you!  And guess whose fault is that, HIM not her HIM.  You think it’s her because you have no vested interest in her so you don’t acknowledge where the problem lies.  The fact he plans on doing this means you have two choices: deal with this for the rest of your life or divorce him. Don’t pretend you have another because you really don’t.

Post # 15
Member
69 posts
Worker bee

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