Post # 1
When my husbands mother first met me (before we were married of course), she started saying negative things about me. He let her and said nothing which is why I thiink I am where I am today. Not only did she talk about me, she talked about my mother and my family in a very negative way. Fast forward until the last 3 months. When my husband is upset with me, he will call his mother and tell her how horrible I am, how I have a attitude etc. Now she treats me badly. I tried to explain to him that he can’t do that, and when he’s not upset with me anymore,, she will still treat me badly. His mother told their whole family about what he said was going on in our marriage and now they all act funny towards me and I never want to be around them. He let them treat me badly and I’d always wonder why and he would say he doesn’t know. He just recently came out and said that he will tell his family including his mother whatever he wants and I’ll jeither deal with it or get a divorce.
Post # 3
Leave. He won’t change. He has made his decision.
Post # 5
Get the divorce. Been in this situation, it doesn’t get better.
Post # 6
For some people it is VERY difficult to keep disagreements and arguments inside the marriage – and during the first few years when a couple goes through growing pains of being married – they can be particularly upsetting.
Your husband has every right to vent – to the RIGHT person. Its not his mother, she obviously cannot remain objective and supportive nor is she discreet.
You’ve pointed this out to him, he’s rebuffed you with a rather juvenile ultimatum – you know better than we would – will this childish routine of running to his mother everytime you and him trade a little paint continue? Or is he redeemable?
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2018 - The Garrison, NY
Wow. He’s a scumbag. Hire a great lawyer and take him for all he’s worth.
Post # 8
Get a divorce. When anyone says “deal with X or do Y” always do Y. He will never change. He will never respect you or your marriage. There’s no point in trying to fight for your marriage because he has already told you he won’t.
Post # 9
msblue90 : “He just recently came out and said that he will tell his family including his mother whatever he wants and I’ll either deal with it or get a divorce.” — He has told you in both words and actions that he means this. I vote divorce.
Post # 10
I’m a strong believe in marriage and normally I wouldn’t say work through this rather than divorce. But it’s your husband who has offered a divorce – “deal with it or get a divorce” – so I say take him up on his offer. He has no desire to fix this, meaning he has no respect or love for you. Divorce.
Post # 11
What advice are you looking for? It seems as though he’s already given you your options: deal with it or get a divorce. It’s up to you to decide if you can deal with this forever (because he won’t change), or if it’s time to walk away. We can’t asnswer that for you. Good luck with whatever you decide
Post # 12
In your shoes I would most definitely NOT deal with it. If he had said, how can WE deal with this, I’d say your marriage was salvageable. But only YOU deal with this means he doesn’t see anything wrong with his actions. Which means…bye.
Post # 13
I am sorry you are going through this. I learned when I was younger if I wanted my family and friends to like and respect a SO then I shouldn’t disclose every little thing because they will hold on to that.. Private matters (to a certain degree) should stay between you two and worked out amongst yourselves as husband and wife– that is how you grow. I’m sorry to say, but he seems really immature and still way too attached to his mom.. I doubt he will ever change. I would get the divorce
Post # 14
You don’t have a mil problem you have a husband problem. Of course she’s not going to like you he paints a very poor picture of you! And guess whose fault is that, HIM not her HIM. You think it’s her because you have no vested interest in her so you don’t acknowledge where the problem lies. The fact he plans on doing this means you have two choices: deal with this for the rest of your life or divorce him. Don’t pretend you have another because you really don’t.