(Closed) My Husband Quits Job without Talking to Me

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
2688 posts
Sugar bee

 

Honestly–I would be fuming.  To do something so monumental and something that so deeply impacts you and your fnancial future and then have an attitude when you try to talk to him?????

 

No way.  I would have t re-evaluate my marriage.

Post # 3
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

mrsb318:  I would be livid. This is not okay in any way.

Post # 4
Member
893 posts
Busy bee

I would be pissed. if he was so worried, he should have taken his safety concerns to OSHA. 

Post # 5
Member
11616 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree with PP, this is totally uncool,AND he seems to be dumping all of the problems in your lap. That isn’t just “not sorry”, it’s a middle finger to the meaning of partnership.

Post # 6
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I feel it is a bit disrespectful because you guys are a team ya know 

Post # 7
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

I would be LIVID! It’s one thing to decide to quit your job eventually, and begin looking at other options, and an ENTIRELY different situation to just up and quit without other options, and WITHOUT talking it over with your wife! WTF! I mean, I get that he thinks his job was impacting his health, but still. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought. I’m not married, not even engaged, and before I quit my last job, to go to a much better one, I talked it over thoroughly with my Boyfriend or Best Friend. You’re supposed to be a team. Teams work together and attack problems as a united front. I would totally not be ok with im just deciding, against your wishes, that he was going to quit. 

Post # 8
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

mrsb318:   He absolutely should have gone to OSHA.  And/or looked for work elsewhere while he still had a job.  He was disrespectful of your wishes – that would drive me up a wall.  Sorry all the stress has been dumped on you.  

Post # 9
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Do you only work part-time yourself or are you also unemployed (maybe a student)? You mentioned for him to wait until one of you had a full-time position lined up which is not unrealistic at all.

I would be pissed, heck I’m pissed for you. I also have anxiety so if my partner were to just drop everything and leave the financial burden on me, I would be physically sick. I hope he realizes he’s a fucking idiot. I’m so sorry bee 🙁 He’s obviously in la la land and thinks that everything will be fine, especially since all of his friends were telling him to do it. His friends are not his WIFE. 

SO MAD. SO SO MAD FOR YOU.

Post # 10
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

He better get on that stripper pole and start dancing for money because apparently he has lost his damn mind smh. 

Post # 12
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

FutureMrsHitBee:  yes, lawd!!!!!  I’m just saying!  He needs to show us what he’s working with and shake what his momma gave him. Start bringing in them coins TODAY! 

Post # 13
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ugh.  Thyroid nodules are really common.  holistic “doctors” will tell you anything.  Does he have another plan for a “safer” job?  Did he consider wearing a mask/respirator?  There were a lot of problem solving possibilities before quitting.  what happens to your health insurance?  If he’s having a medical issue, now isn’t the time to quit a job.

Post # 14
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m going to go against the grain here and say that he did it for his Mental Health. It may have been rash and impulsive (although if he has OCD I have a hard time believing that) and it would have been a lot better if he had talked to you about it. But honestly it doesn’t. Sound like neither one of you talks very much. You kicked him out of the house because of it? You shut down when he was explaining himself? 

You seem to be dismissive of his mental status (like calling him a hypochondriac) which would explain, at least to me, why he didn’t take you fully into account with this decision.

Maybe you guys just need to focus on HOW you communicate, not dismiss each other so neither one of you ends up feeling betrayed (in your case because he didn’t consult you, in his case because everyone around him is supportive of his putting his mental health above all except his wife -not saying I agree with either one of you, just saying this is how it could look to both of you) or not taken into consideration.

Also, your husband’s mental health is deteriorating (no matter how you look at it). Maybe now is the time for you to take over being the breadwinner for a while. 

My two cents.

Post # 15
Member
40 posts
Newbee

Not to be rude in any way, but what do you do for a living? are u a stay at home wife? I would have to agree with your husband. I understand why you would be upset but if a doctor told my husband to quit his job because it might be affecting his health why wouldnt you want him to quit his job? I understand you have bills to pay and etc, but its your husbands health on the line. If you had family that could help out, take the help and take care of your man. Hes not apologizing bc he has nothing to apologize for. He made the decision that was right for him, instead of talking to him about his choices seems like you already made a decision in your head and when he wouldnt follow your orders you got angry. You might wanna apologize to him.

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