Post # 1
Sorry this long – My husband has OCD and a bit of anxiety issues. The last couple of months he started getting anxious about his health. He said he’s been having a hard time breathing at work because of the chemicals around him.- (Knowing him, he always feels sick. He is hypochondriac) worked at a sanitation district which is an open air area. So we went to different doctors to see him and had some lab tests. We found out that he has a growing thyroid nodule -nothing serious. It’s not cancerous. The specialist said that it has nothing to do with his difficulty breathing. She said that it’s possible that his anxiety is causing this. But he suggested to have it removed just in case it gets worse. We didn’t want it removed of course so we went to see a holistic doctor. Right there the holistic doctor told him to quit his job right away because he assumes that the workplace contributes to whatever he has. So my husband decided to just quit and researched about unemployment. I was able to talk him out of it at first. I told him he can quit his job as soon as one of us gets a full time job to replace his income. I don’t think it’s an unfair request especially we have bills to pay, who doesn’t? But people surrounding us has been saying otherwise. They encourage him to just quit and just get help financially from family. He agrees with them. He listens to other people than his wife. I’ve been fighting so hard for him to hear me out but every time he starts listening to me, 5 people will go against me. It has been me against the world. Why do I have to try so hard to get my husband just listen to me? Then one day, my husband came home early from work and just told me he quits his job and that’s it. I felt sick to my stomach. More than anything else, I felt defeated, betrayed, not valued. He said everybody else has been okay with it except me. I said of course they are ok with it. They’re not the one will be stressed out where to get the money to pay our bills. It’s not their life. At the end of the day, we will be the one who will be in deep sht. I kicked my husband out I said I don’t want to see him. It’s been a couple of days and I never heard him say he’s sorry. He said it’s the best option to not talk to me about quitting his job. He stands on what he did and don’t regret it. I want to forgive him but how do you forgive someone who is not sorry?
Post # 2
Honestly–I would be fuming. To do something so monumental and something that so deeply impacts you and your fnancial future and then have an attitude when you try to talk to him?????
No way. I would have t re-evaluate my marriage.
Post # 3
mrsb318: I would be livid. This is not okay in any way.
Post # 4
I would be pissed. if he was so worried, he should have taken his safety concerns to OSHA.
Post # 5
I agree with PP, this is totally uncool,AND he seems to be dumping all of the problems in your lap. That isn’t just “not sorry”, it’s a middle finger to the meaning of partnership.
Post # 6
I feel it is a bit disrespectful because you guys are a team ya know
Post # 7
I would be LIVID! It’s one thing to decide to quit your job eventually, and begin looking at other options, and an ENTIRELY different situation to just up and quit without other options, and WITHOUT talking it over with your wife! WTF! I mean, I get that he thinks his job was impacting his health, but still. Bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought. I’m not married, not even engaged, and before I quit my last job, to go to a much better one, I talked it over thoroughly with my Boyfriend or Best Friend. You’re supposed to be a team. Teams work together and attack problems as a united front. I would totally not be ok with im just deciding, against your wishes, that he was going to quit.
Post # 8
mrsb318: He absolutely should have gone to OSHA. And/or looked for work elsewhere while he still had a job. He was disrespectful of your wishes – that would drive me up a wall. Sorry all the stress has been dumped on you.
Post # 9
Do you only work part-time yourself or are you also unemployed (maybe a student)? You mentioned for him to wait until one of you had a full-time position lined up which is not unrealistic at all.
I would be pissed, heck I’m pissed for you. I also have anxiety so if my partner were to just drop everything and leave the financial burden on me, I would be physically sick. I hope he realizes he’s a fucking idiot. I’m so sorry bee 🙁 He’s obviously in la la land and thinks that everything will be fine, especially since all of his friends were telling him to do it. His friends are not his WIFE.
SO MAD. SO SO MAD FOR YOU.
Post # 10
He better get on that stripper pole and start dancing for money because apparently he has lost his damn mind smh.
Post # 11
leekissesme: He better WERK!
Post # 12
FutureMrsHitBee: yes, lawd!!!!! I’m just saying! He needs to show us what he’s working with and shake what his momma gave him. Start bringing in them coins TODAY!
Post # 13
Ugh. Thyroid nodules are really common. holistic “doctors” will tell you anything. Does he have another plan for a “safer” job? Did he consider wearing a mask/respirator? There were a lot of problem solving possibilities before quitting. what happens to your health insurance? If he’s having a medical issue, now isn’t the time to quit a job.
Post # 14
I’m going to go against the grain here and say that he did it for his Mental Health. It may have been rash and impulsive (although if he has OCD I have a hard time believing that) and it would have been a lot better if he had talked to you about it. But honestly it doesn’t. Sound like neither one of you talks very much. You kicked him out of the house because of it? You shut down when he was explaining himself?
You seem to be dismissive of his mental status (like calling him a hypochondriac) which would explain, at least to me, why he didn’t take you fully into account with this decision.
Maybe you guys just need to focus on HOW you communicate, not dismiss each other so neither one of you ends up feeling betrayed (in your case because he didn’t consult you, in his case because everyone around him is supportive of his putting his mental health above all except his wife -not saying I agree with either one of you, just saying this is how it could look to both of you) or not taken into consideration.
Also, your husband’s mental health is deteriorating (no matter how you look at it). Maybe now is the time for you to take over being the breadwinner for a while.
My two cents.
Post # 15
Not to be rude in any way, but what do you do for a living? are u a stay at home wife? I would have to agree with your husband. I understand why you would be upset but if a doctor told my husband to quit his job because it might be affecting his health why wouldnt you want him to quit his job? I understand you have bills to pay and etc, but its your husbands health on the line. If you had family that could help out, take the help and take care of your man. Hes not apologizing bc he has nothing to apologize for. He made the decision that was right for him, instead of talking to him about his choices seems like you already made a decision in your head and when he wouldnt follow your orders you got angry. You might wanna apologize to him.