- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I’m writing this post with tears in my eyes, not because I’m sad, but MAD.
I’m a very private person: I don’t share personal details (how much I earn, my debts, mortgage, etc) with anyone, not even with my parents. Just with my husband.
I acknowledge that not everyone is the same and some people just share stuff with their parents, but why do they have to share married life stuff details?
My husband just can’t keep details of our lives private from his parents. He tells them every little detail. Next month we will be married for a year, and he’s always done it. I’ve told him many times that I’m a very private person that I don’t like that he’s always telling someone what we want to do.
I recently started a new job, in my field of expertise, and after I signed the offer letter, his dad (my father in law) dared to ask me how much I was gonna earn!!! I almost died. Thanks God it was via text message, because he wouldn’t like my reaction to his question. The thing is that I didn’t tell him. I told him that the offer was really good and I accepted it. I thought he was gonna leave it there, but I was through my husband’s phone (thing that I DON’T EVER DO) I just wanted to send to my email a picture he took with his phone earlier that day. You know these smartphones, if you don’t close an app before you lock the phone, it will be there when you unlock it. When I did it, the last thing he had done was to text his dad. I remembered what he asked me, and I just couldn’t resist the temptation to see if he asked my husband. I scrolled it up and guess what??? Yes, he did ask my husband how much I was gonna earn. And guess again… YES HE TOLD HIM, even the bonus I was gonna get!!! I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t supposed to see the conversation.
Yesterday, he was talking to his mom over the phone, he was in the bedroom, I was in the kitchen. I could hear him telling her that we were going to buy a new car since I started this job and we don’t have the same schedule, so it will be very hard for us with just one car.
I think he has the urge to tell them everything that we want to do and the justification for what we do.
This is really getting the best out of me, I don’t even know what to do, or what to say to him anymore. The last resort would be to separate our finances. I have thought of doing something similar to him. Like tell my parents, in front of him, that we are trying for a baby, or something like that, something that is supposed to be kept for us. But I don’t think it would work, maybe it will backfire me.
I’m desperate, I don’t even want to imagine that this could end our marriage, because I know it can. And if there are kids in the future it will be worse, because I’m sure that my in laws would think that they’re entitled to take decisions over our kids. And I will NEVER allow it, and it could become trouble between them, and me and I know it will hurt the kids, etc.
Some advice? Anyone?? 🙁
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